K
kazbah
Guest
The Ant & the Grasshopper - A Modern Fable
CLASSIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house and laying up supplies for
the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and
dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed.
The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so
he dies out in the cold.
THE END.
THE BRITISH VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house and laying up supplies for
the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and
dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
So far, so good, eh?
The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be
warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like
him, are cold and starving.
The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the
shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant
in his comfortable warm home in Hampstead with a table
laden with food.
The British are stunned that in a country of such
wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so
while others have plenty.
The Liberal Party, the Respect Party, the
Transvestites With Starving Babies Party, the Single
Lesbian One Eyed Mothers Party and the Coalition
Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's
house.
The BBC, interrupting a Rastafarian cultural festival
special from Grimsby with breaking news, broadcasts
them singing "We Shall Overcome."
Ken Livingstone laments in an interview with Panorama
that the ant has got rich off the backs of
grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on
the ant to make him pay his "fair share".
In response, the Labour Government drafts the
Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination
Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined
for failing to Hire grasshoppers as helpers. Without
enough money to pay the fine and his newly imposed
retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by Camden
Council.
The ant moves to France, and starts a successful
AgriBiz company [funded by the EU] (although within
weeks, his business is threatened with Compulsory
purchase by the state unless he marries a French ant).
The BBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing
up the last of the ant's food, though Spring is still
months away, while the government house he is in,
which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles
around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.
Inadequate government funding is blamed, Diane Abbot
is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will
cost £10,000,000.
The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the
Guardian blames it on the obvious failure of
government to address the root causes of despair
arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is
taken over by a Gang of immigrant spiders, praised by
the government for enriching Britain's multicultural
diversity, who promptly set up a marijuana growing
Operations and terrorize the community.
THE END .
CLASSIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house and laying up supplies for
the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and
dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed.
The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so
he dies out in the cold.
THE END.
THE BRITISH VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house and laying up supplies for
the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and
dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
So far, so good, eh?
The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be
warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like
him, are cold and starving.
The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the
shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant
in his comfortable warm home in Hampstead with a table
laden with food.
The British are stunned that in a country of such
wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so
while others have plenty.
The Liberal Party, the Respect Party, the
Transvestites With Starving Babies Party, the Single
Lesbian One Eyed Mothers Party and the Coalition
Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's
house.
The BBC, interrupting a Rastafarian cultural festival
special from Grimsby with breaking news, broadcasts
them singing "We Shall Overcome."
Ken Livingstone laments in an interview with Panorama
that the ant has got rich off the backs of
grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on
the ant to make him pay his "fair share".
In response, the Labour Government drafts the
Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination
Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined
for failing to Hire grasshoppers as helpers. Without
enough money to pay the fine and his newly imposed
retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by Camden
Council.
The ant moves to France, and starts a successful
AgriBiz company [funded by the EU] (although within
weeks, his business is threatened with Compulsory
purchase by the state unless he marries a French ant).
The BBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing
up the last of the ant's food, though Spring is still
months away, while the government house he is in,
which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles
around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.
Inadequate government funding is blamed, Diane Abbot
is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will
cost £10,000,000.
The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the
Guardian blames it on the obvious failure of
government to address the root causes of despair
arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is
taken over by a Gang of immigrant spiders, praised by
the government for enriching Britain's multicultural
diversity, who promptly set up a marijuana growing
Operations and terrorize the community.
THE END .