Supporting family member with cancer

L

larkin

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My sister has just been disgnosed with breast cancer and undergone a mastectomy. She will be getting out of hospital soon and starting radiation, chemo and hormone therapy. Yes all 3..

We have high hopes for her but I have been unable to find any information on the internet about how to talk to her, support her, deal with this etc.

Can anyone point me to a book or website that has positive professional advice about best way to talk to breast cancer patients?
 
Sorry to hear.... there are topics & good guidance generally available on [broken link removed]
 
Thanks, I found this on cancer.ie
[broken link removed]

I'm very grateful for your quick replies :)
 
For what it's worth I would also recommend even if the cancer is not life threatening. Obviously the final decision on whether or not to read it is down to the individual in question.
 
Hello Larkin,

Sorry to hear about your sister and it's good to see that you want to do the best for and with her. Perhaps you might like to telephone Arc House, Eccles Street, Dublin. There is a wonderful group of nurses, therapists and counsellors available and they work in line with the patient's doctor. You could ring them if you wish. It's a drop in support centre for cancer sufferers and or family members. It's a wonderful place - in the circumstances.

You will be given all the guidance you need there.

Good luck.

Justsally
 
I've just finished reading Ferdia McAnna's (aka Rocky Devalera) memoir 'Last of the Bald Heads' which included a couple of interesting chapters on his battle with testicular cancer. He includes a lot of detail on how the cancer made him feel and what kinds of reactions from his friends helped or hindered him.
 
Sorry to hear about your sister Larkin. I hope everything goes well for her. There is a lady in or around Portarlington, Co. Laois called Ann Fitzpatrick who wrote a book called "My Left Boob;The Diary of Ann being Frank". It's her own story and is supposed to be a lovely light hearted read and may be the tonic that you all need to lift your spirits. I just found a link from [broken link removed] Show.
 
looking for answers

Hi, my mom is in the hospital, her heart was going into failure last friday and they found her red blood cell count to be 8.6, it is now 7.4. They have given her steriods to build the cell count back up but it doesnt seem to be helping, i live in the UK and was called home, after a scan they found that my mom has cancer in her stomach, lungs, colon and chest. she had a tumor behind her hip they found last year but didnt seem concerned about it, now it is 9cm. They told her they were going to put her on chemo right away to get the red blood cell count back up and now after a biopsy they say they are going to just give her a pill that has no chemo in it and not to worry about the cancer its low grade. I dont understand when its in her body like that and has progressive fairly quick over 8 months or so and the tumor has grown alot that they are no longer concerned. Last year she just had the tumor, now she has it pretty much throughout her body. Can anyone help, i have so many mixed emotions, i want to be happy they say dont worry but when you look at the whole picture to me it doesnt sound good, i am going home anyway to see her but i just want to know what i am facing.
 
Sorry to hear about this situation. I know what it's like having gone through something similar with my father about five years ago. Is the cancer malignant or benign? What is the general prognosis? What did they mean by "low grade"? Don't be afraid to ask questions of the health professionals and don't be put off by the dismissive attitudes that some may have. Have you considered contacting some of the helplines mentioned above.
 
Ladyluck2441 Sorry to hear about your Mum. Having lost both my parents (Dad to cancer & Mum to heart decease) when I was in my 30s and from those experiences I would advise you to make a list of all your questions before you come to see your mother. Make an appointment wih the doctor treating her and piut the questions to him/her. The list is important because when you go in to meet some of those doctors they just fob you off.
Best of luck.
 
Hello Ladyluck2441,

That's a tough call. I would strongly suggest that you do as Megan advises write down the questions that you want answers to. Don't be afraid to produce the notes/questions while talking to your mom's doctor. These doctors are well used to such behaviour - They realise that oncology matters are not taken lightly by either patient or family members. Ask to see her consultant, rather than one of the team. It would be helpful if you could bring a close friend of family member with you. Sometimes, due to our anxiety we don't always hear what is being said. A third party "listener" can be very helpful to help you clarify your thinking after you have asked all your questions.

I wouldn't presume to understand any of the medical matters you mentioned - except to say there is such a thing as "low grade" cancer. I have heard this term used in non-hodgkins lymphoma. However, I am simply mentioning this to let you know that "low grade" is a specific medical term in some forms of cancer. But I don't want to lead you astray by making this comment.


Take care


Justsally
 
hi, i live in the UK and my mom is in the US so i dont know everything, as far as i know they are saying low grade by the biopsy, thats all i know. They are giving her as of today a pill that has some kind of chemo in it and a drip for a few days. I will deffinately be asking alot of questions once i get home. thank you for your advice.
 
thank you very much for your concern and that is a very good idea to make a list, cause i know i will forget when all the family members are in there and the doctors, so yes i will be doing that. Again thank you.
 
yes it is nonhodgkins lymphoma that she initially started out with and yes i do want to know everything i can about it and this "low grade" and there will be plenty of people in with me and i agree its better to have alot of ears listening then just mine. Thank you so much for your response.
 
Hello Again,

Now please don't take my comment as a medical diagnosis but all I can say is low-grade non hodgkins lymphoma is sometimes treated with chemotherapy in tablet form. There is a regime attached to such treatment. The patient takes medication every day for so many days, then stops for a number of days etc. There is a cycle of treatment, during which time blood tests are taken and checked.

Please accept that I am not talking about your mum or what her treatment may involve. I am simply letting you know that the above is a definite line of treatment that exists. Some patients self administer the chemotherapy tablets at home and they are obtained on prescription from the chemist.

Justsally
 
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