split with boyfriend, house value = outstanding mortgage, he wont move out etc.

alaskaonline said:

that's disgraceful!

Click to expand...

I agree. But the OP's ex sounds a bit more sinister.

In each of the cases mentioned we have only heard one side of the story. If Fizzelina's story is true then half the country would be in jail, both men and women.

fizzelina said:

That may be the case for a restraining order.
At the moment my OH knows a guy who has had a Protection Order granted last week against him by a judge, despite NO history of arguments, never mind violence. He was in court with his solicitor to oppose it. The woman in question had an affair, has a new boyfriend, wants to separate from the husband and for him to move out. When he said he's not moving out she managed to easily get the protection order and 2 days later she rang the guards saying she is afraid (no argument even happening) but the order meant the guards came, arrested the guy and he spent a night in a cell!! The guards were very sympathetic, bought him his dinner and said their hands are tied they had to come arrest him since the order is in place. The guy's solicitor advised him not to go back to the house. The lady got her wish. I'm sorry but these protection orders are easy to get and I am still in shock at this guy's plight.

Click to expand...

I find the above very difficult to believe.

I have actually assisted a number of people who have gone to Dolphin House to get a protection order in cases where there is an history including substance abuse, medical reports of injuries sustained in violent attacks and garda interventions. Its never an easy process and I have seen women refused the protection orders even in extreme cases.

truthseeker said:

I find the above very difficult to believe.

Click to expand...

So would I to be honest if I didn't know this guy was sitting chatting with my OH and in bits about it last week and literally in shock at the whole events. The Gardai had never had one complaint against him for anything until suddenly there is a protection order in place. I don't have any reason to doubt him he had nothing to gain by lying to the OH.
But it's true there are 2 sides and we only heard his. BTW his ex is still allowing him to see their child and take her out etc so surely if she was that afraid of this guy she wouldn't be putting her child in danger.

fizzelina said:

But it's true there are 2 sides and we only heard his.

Click to expand...

Very true - and one never really knows what goes on behind closed doors.

As I said originally, many people will probably disagree with my advice. It isn't a legal solution, is a practical measure to get her and her daughter back in her home. On that basis, I stand over it. But the OP knows her own situation best.

I don't have the legal solution - I'm not competent to give one. But I wouldn't hesitate to force him out of the house if he was screwing me over the way he is treating her.

Let us know how you get on, OP.

thanks so much for everyones advice and thoughts, Riad totally agree with you he walking all over me and getting away with it. As regards moving back into house I cant do it, he drinks alot comes home drunk slamming doors kicking doors and the whole atmosphere would be horrible fair enough if I was on my own but it not fair on my daughter. He is in a position to pay his share of mortgage but why would he when he can get away with not paying. Alot of advice is saying go to court and order the sale the problem is the house is not selling so do I continue to pay a mortgage on a house that will maybe sell in a years time? I just want this resolved he cant take over debt I would happily allow him to do this if he could and walk away with nothing. The house is not selling. I cant continue to pay rent and mortgage.so what do I do?? I am just thinking at this stage hand keys back to bank.

Where is the house located, are other houses in the area selling and if so at what price ...you may have to lower the price to get rid of it and him

Could any of the legal boffins here advise whether she could get some sort of court declaration that he must pay his fair share towards the mortgage? Or breach of contract? Or could she even seek some sort of summary judgement for payment of his share?

Surely she could argue that some sort of de-facto legal contract existed between them both, which implied he must cover part of the mortgage...

The OP can't wait a couple of years to force through a sale.... she will be broke much sooner than that. There is also the small matter of finding a buyer, and keeping the buyer on board while you traipse through the courts for a year or two...

Sorry to hear that he is a big drinker, and he sounds borderline abusive..... Don't rule out the protection order route, so.

But get proper legal advice, if you want that sort of solution. Get the cash for it from somewhere. Most AAM posters aren't lawyers, and the AAM posters who are can only give you part answers unless they know the full story.

It seems like an awful lot of hassle just to keep your credit rating (by ruling out a default)

There was a thread here before where someone went to a solicitor re the ex not paying the mortgage - I will have a look for it.

Edit - I cant find the thread - but I refer to it in Post #4 of this thread:
http://www.askaboutmoney.com/showthread.php?t=143097

Not sure if you can use the Partition Act to r "force a sale". I think you have to be living in the property though. Why did you move out? You say that your partner was not violent, etc? Having a few beers is not the same as being a raging alcoholic..

Sorry to hear that he is a big drinker, and he sounds borderline abusive..... Don't rule out the protection order route, so.

Click to expand...

That's hearsay, just nonsense...