Split up with EX. Can I buy him out?

Hi - looking for advice..

Myself and partner have unfortunately split up after 14 years. We are not married but have two young children. We bought a house together in 2017. (I also have an apartment I purchased in 2004 myself through an affordable housing scheme, worth about 300k with about 40k left on the mortgage). It's currently rented.

Does anyone know if I was to buy him out of the family home, how is the amount I must give him calculated? Everything from the mortgage payments, childcare and bills is currently split 50/50 and paid through a joint account. I work part-time and care for the children the majority of time and he works full time.

My questions are:

1. How is the amount calculated that I must give to buy him out of the family?
2. If he decides that he wants to sell the property. Can I refuse, given its the children's home?
3. Would he have any claim on my second property (not in his name)?

There is 124k left on the joint mortgage (16 years left on mortgage)
Currently Value of the family home is approx 460k
Kids are 5 & 8 yours old

thanks
F

I would suggest that the starting point it that you offer your ex 50% of the net equity in the property which is (460k-124K)/2 = 168K. Do you have that sum of money ? Your mortgage provider will be reluctant to take your ex off the mortgage. Do you gave sufficient income and funds to take out a new mortgage to cover the 168K due your ex + the 124K outstanding mortgage balance = 292K ? Unlikely from what you describe but impossible to tell without money makeover details on your financial circumstances.

Watson.F said:

If he decides that he wants to sell the property. Can I refuse, given its the children's home?

Click to expand...

I'm not suggesting that any party should start out by aggressively asserting their rights especially if there's even a remote chance of coming to some mutually agreed settlement through meditation and/or negotiation, but it might be worth reviewing this in case any of it is relevant in this case.

thanks for your reply - I have the option to sell my rental property to pay his part of the equity. My part time income is generous and I have the option to go full time which would help to get the additional funds from the bank..

Why don't you offer him your appartment to get him to give up his share of the house, that might be attractive for him?

The first thing you should do is start the process of selling your investment property.

It's critically important that you have access to cash to allow you to be in the best position to buy him out.

It may take time to sell but it will also take time to reach an agreement with your ex.

But start the ball rolling. Give your tenant notice of the intention to sell.

Watson.F said:

How is the amount calculated that I must give to buy him out of the family?

Click to expand...

By negotiation. There is no rulebook to follow.

Watson.F said:

There is 124k left on the joint mortgage (16 years left on mortgage)
Currently Value of the family home is approx 460k

Click to expand...

If you sold the property today, you would get about €330k between you. or €165k each.
So a first shot at a fair deal would be that he pays you €165k or you pay him €165k.

However, that assumes equal ownership. If, for example, he put up a deposit of €40k and you put up nothing, then you would need to adjust for this.

You will also need to get a new mortgage for the €124k . You haven't told us your income, but it's likely that your lender will give you this.

However, don't take anything for granted. That is why you should sell the investment now so that it will be simple.

It's best to try to reach agreement with your ex first on all these issues. However, you should probably have a chat with a solicitor to know where you stand. That does not mean that you should be sending off legal letters at this stage. You shouldn't. Try to reach agreement and then give it to your solicitors to implement it.

Watson.F said:

If he decides that he wants to sell the property. Can I refuse, given its the children's home?

Click to expand...

My understanding is that neither of you can force the other to do anything without going to the courts. He could go to the High Court and seek an order for sale. I doubt if he would get it if you have offered to pay him €165k and get his name off the mortgage. Any decent solicitor would discourage him from this very expensive process.

Again, it comes back to selling your investment. Have the money available to do a deal. You do not want a complicated arrangement where you get the opportunity to buy it subject to clearing the mortgage and you are unable to clear the mortgage, so the deal falls through.

Watson.F said:

Would he have any claim on my second property (not in his name)?

Click to expand...

No.

But if you are far wealthier and have a much higher income, he could seek maintenance.

So pulling all these strings together.

1) Have a preliminary chat with a solicitor.
2) You and your ex will need to sit down and reach an agreement on the house and on maintenance for the children.

Nothing is agreed until all is agreed.

He might not want to sell the house to you and he would be entitled to that. But if he wants to buy another house, he probably needs the cash.

Or he might suggest that you move back to your other home and leave him in the family home. Yet another reason, for selling the investment property.

This will be difficult to resolve but make sure that you do address it now one way or the other.

What often happens in these cases is the following:
1) He moves out
2) although nothing is agreed, you pay the full mortgage
3) After a few years, he wants the property sold which is not unreasonable

This appears to have happened here, although to be fair, they would not have been able to reach a solution when they split up.

4) It becomes very difficult to decide how much he should get. The house may have increased in value but the mortgage will have reduced because you have paid it down. But he will still insist on getting half the equity.

So do address it now.

joe sod said:

Why don't you offer him your apartment to get him to give up his share of the house, that might be attractive for him?

Click to expand...

I did offer this but he has no interest in living in an apartment!!

Brendan Burgess said:

No.

But if you are far wealthier and have a much higher income, he could seek maintenance.

Click to expand...

I'm not sure what he earns but given his occupation its probably about 50k - my part time salary is about 60k

Then it won't be an issue.