Some posters are condescending

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One poster managed to show what they thought was a condescending post and was slapped down. Would anyone else then try and show any posts that are like that I wonder?

Yes MF1 reply was to the point and he is very witty, this we all know. He is also very knowledgeable. One of the best posters always giving excellent advice. But the point is the person posting the question was a relatively new poster I think. He is probably afraid to post back.

Personally I get annoyed at some people and hope that my replies are not condescending, probably when I feel the poster is not getting the message. If they are I'd prefer to be told they are.
 


I can only speak for myself but there was one poster who I found put me in a bad mood. Every one of his posts went along the same route, he was nasty and the fact he is now banned is a relief.

Only once have I been "offended" by a response to a question I made but it was all sorted out amicably via the PM function.
 
Bronte said:
Would anyone else then try and show any posts that are like that I wonder?
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I don't know if this counts as a condescending post or not, but when I first start using AAM I posted in the wrong forum and got told off by the mods. I was surprised by the tone of the e-mail.
I had asked a question about the Lisbon treaty in the Miscelaneous Non-Financial Questions forum. I was told this was the wrong forum as it should have been posted in LOS so I replied and apologised. Here is my reply.

"I was unsure whether it should be posted in LOS or not, but as I have not reached 50 posts yet, I could not post it in LOS.
Apologies if this caused confusion."

And here was the response.

"There should be no confusion

You are not a Frequent Poster, so don't let off steam in any forum"
As I was new to the website I thought it could have been put better.
 
Shawady
I don't know if this counts as a condescending post or not
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No. As it was not a post, it was a PM and not in public.

Was the PM condescending?

With respect, it seemed to me clear at the time.

You wanted to Let off Steam.
The Posting Guidelines say you can't because you did not have 50 posts.
You appear to have been well aware of this.
So you decided to LoS anyway but in some other forum where you are allowed post.

You joined in March 2008. You posted your Lisbon Treaty comment in December 08. So while you were not a Frequent Poster, you were not very "new to the website".

It is hard work moderating Askaboutmoney. When people break the guidelines, I don't write long polite letters to them explaining why they are not allowed post. I much prefer answering people's financial questions. So I don't spend much time issuing warnings. They are blunt and to the point. If that is sometimes interpreted as condescending, so be it.

But we are back to the original question - there seems to be no evidence of condescending posts, although some posters find the wording on my notes on the breaches of posting guidelines condescending.

brendan
 
Brendan Burgess said:
But the purpose of askaboutmoney is to help people with questions on financial and consumer issues. If they are reluctant to post in case they look stupid in public and will be looked down upon by experienced posters, then askaboutmoney is failing.
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Brendan, I reason I posted it was the point you make here. If people are reluctant to post they will not get the full use of the website.
My initial gripe (if it was even that) was not being told i broke the guidelines but rather was when I apologised, rather than acknowledge my apology, you were more intent with telling me off again in a very direct manner.
Was it condescending or rude? I don't know but I certainly thought a reply along the lines of "No problem, but just be aware that issues such as XXXX should be discussed in the LOS forum" would have been more appropriate.

I obviously wasn't bothered about it. I have posted regurlary since and appreciate the work the mods do but someone new to the site might take offence to that style.
 
Brendan Burgess said:
But we are back to the original question - there seems to be no evidence of condescending posts, although some posters find the wording on my notes on the breaches of posting guidelines condescending.

brendan
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I think Shawady is trying to explain to you why some people take offence, presumable in order to improve the site and the experience of those who use it, whether it's condescention or not isn't really important.

When you're new whether it's a PM or a post won't make much difference to the poster. You asked for people's experiences, when you're new it's hard to understand what mod's have to do and why they do it. Personally I was initially shocked at the way people were on here, but hey I've joined the gang and generally understand it now. But for the first initial say 20 posts, to encourage people to post, we should be kinder. Moving to the correct forum, helping them understand rather than referring them to the posting guidelines. And no I don't think I've ever read the posting guidelines.

Shawady tried to show you how people can get upset, at least that was the way I took it. Probably the reason people will not point out other posters condescention is because the regular posters will not take the risk of insulting other posters who've been on here a long time. Certainly I wouldn't highlight another frequent poster being condescending. A better way to do it would be to contact new posters and ask them what did they think of their recent experiences on AAM.

Apologies to everybody for my spelling today. I realise it's quite atrocious but will endeavour to improve.
 
Personally I was initially shocked at the way people were on here
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It's very difficult to deal with this generalised comment without examples.

Just to be clear - there is a posting guideline "Do not abuse other posters"

Abusive posts are removed. So it probably would be a lot more "condescending" if we did not remove them.

If you see posts which are breaching the posting guidelines, report them. It's confidential. You are offending no one.

Brendan
 
Bronte, you are so right (as usual)not about condescension, rather people skills.... by the way to those of you who perceive me as a sensitive creature and of course you are entitled to your opinions, however, I can assure you that is not the case. I just abhor unacceptable behaviour. When I questioned Brendan as to what I had done so wrong to cause such a personal attack he accused me of being abusive -OTT or what?. I wonder how a new poster would feel under similar circumstances.
 
dewdrop said:
Is this debate going anywhere?
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Hi dewdrop

I think it has got somewhere.

No one has come up with an example of a condescending post. So I think the thread has established that the suggestion that "some posters are condescending" is just not supported by the evidence.

Some people don't bother reading the Posting Guidelines and object to being told not to breach them.

Some people do not like the Posting Guidelines as it restricts their ability to bump posts or use bad language.

Some others see that Askaboutmoney is better for the strict posting guidelines.

I will try to be nicer to first time posters, but even today, there was a post with the title "hello guys" from a first time poster. I really don't want to spend time reading this post and trying to figure out a suitable title for him.

I won't call people rude, but they will still be stopped from bumping posts and I won't indulge them in a discussion of the issue.
 
Brendan Burgess said:
Some people don't bother reading the Posting Guidelines and object to being told not to breach them.
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There's no evidence of this on this thread.

Some people have made it quite clear what it is they find objectionable but you continue to relate this to the guidelines themselves rather than to the way they're applied.

And nobody's asking you to go into lengthy explanations to justify what you've done - just to apply the same manners you seem to expect from everyone else.

But it's your site........, etc
 
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