Separation Nightmare

Hi,
I posted a question about Seperation previously and thanks to all who responded but my situation is now dire. I still live with my husband and child in the family home I have lived apart from my husband for the last 6 years or so but stayed in the family home for my childs sake which I now realise was a very big mistake for all of us. To cut a long story short almost a year ago I told my husband that I wanted us to seperate as we both needed to get on with our lives he has skirted the issue since and has still not made any arrangements to either spaek to our child or make arrangements to leave. Most people will think this is very odd I know, I have never been a very strong person when it comes to confrontation and I Know that he has exploited this and fobs me off with rubbish that he is awaiting loan approval etc. I know in my heart these are lies. How does someone get an unresponsive partner to wake up and move on. I am not that well off and couldn't afford hefty legal fees, is there anything legal I can do that won't cost me a fortune. I have met somone else which is completely unrelated to our split but am afraid he will try to use this as a weapon against me.

Thanks in advance.

Re: Seperation Nightmare

OP, when it comes to dealing with separation and divorce resolutions can only be achieved by agreement or Court Order. If your husbank doesn't want to deal with this mediation, agreement is not going to be possible. The only option is Court in such a situation. You can do the Court process yourself of dependant on your means you may be entitled to legal aid. (disposable income of less than €18,000)

Re: Seperation Nightmare

Miss Daisy,

Thanks for your response, I'm am employed with income in excess of your figure, so it looks as if Legal Aid is not an option for me. I just find this all so frustrating and hopeless all I want to do is get on with my life and not waste any more precious years being in an unhappy relationship.

Have you talked to your husband about mediation? If he does, as you say, fob you off ask him would he attend mediation if you set everything up. You'll know very quickly then whether an agreement can be reached.

If this doesn't work and you don't want to spend any more years in a relationship you are either going to have to start Court proceedings yourself or pay a solicitor and do it.

Why is it assumed that he should be the one to leave ?
What have you done to "Make arrangements to leave" ?

Re: Seperation Nightmare

Poochie1967 said:

Miss Daisy,

I'm employed with income in excess of your figure, so it looks as if Legal Aid is not an option for me.

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Re: Income

It's not income earned over €18,000. it's what's left over after you've paid for rent, food, utilities and other essentials. You can always [broken link removed] for more information.

Good point Dachsund, I had missed absence of the word 'disposable' in OP's reply! OP contact a Legal Aid Centre and talk to them about your eligibility. At least then you will know for sure where you stand as regards the need to pay for a private solicitor.

Thank you all for your help I will contact FLAC for some advice and see how I go. In regard to your heartfelt reply Two Wheels I have told my oh so cooperative husband that If he wants to buy me out of our home that I would be willing to do that aswell I don't mind who goes but one of us has to go, he merely ignored this along with everything else and remains up to his neck in sand with no regard for anyones feelings but his own and to how this will impact HIS life and that he will never find anyone else. I hope you meant well but I doubt it.

Poochie, twowheels posted a valid question. What is stopping you leaving the house seeing as your husband is going to do nothing?

Hi Bronte,

In one sense you are probably correct that it is a valid question because all you can know of my situation is what I've posted which is merely a snapshot of my life for the last 8 years. I have spoke to my partner on numerous occassions about the fact I don't want to be with him anymore and I have agreed that whatever option is acceptable to him I would go along with, I told him I'd leave but he said he didn't want our child disrupted and that he would leave to keep the child' life as normal as is possible which was the only thing I have ever wanted. But he has dragged his feet and has strung me along that he will indeed leave hence my comment about him making arrangements. I am at my wits end because I have no one in a similar situation I can talk to about this and I apploigise to any posters who may have felt I'm a bit touchy about this but as I'm sure you can appreciate this is a very stressful situation.