Senile Parent's House & Farm

[harpist]

Apologies in advance for the length of this post but I wanted to pre-empt any questions...

Can anybody advise what the position is with a medically verified senile mother unable to cope with the burden of having inherited family home and farm wanting to sign it all over to the HSE or a neighbour so that she can go into care or be cared for by "a mankind"?

My younger sibling has been living with her since our father died a number of years ago and was originally working from home in the early stages but lost contract due to mother's interference (with client & customers). Mother is on non-contributory OAP and is adamant that if sibling draws Carer's Allowance as I imagine would be my sibling's right, mother's pension will be reduced. She often also threatens to sign it all over to any neighbour (as long as they're male) and have them care for her instead. This despite my younger sibling having given up her entire life in Dublin to stay with Mum as she was adamant that she couldn't be left on her own (even for my sister to work 9-5) in her late 60's. An official care replacement isn't something she's willing to pay for, so in effect she's holding all the cards.

Mum is still physically active but a danger to herself often several times in the day (kitchen fires, insisting on going out for walks in these treacherous conditions, disappears for walks lasting hours etc.).

The family solicitor dances to Mum's tune now that she's paying the piper and seems to buy into her delusions (prior to our Father's death and before her diagnosis, he advised that she would not create a favourable impression with official channels and advised my sister to act on her behalf...).

I'm living abroad and unable to offer any practical local support but am keen to get advice to ensure that my poor sibling isn't left homeless having provided a service and been at our mother's constant beck & call... she's very demanding. I'm getting more and more anxious about my sibling's well being as our mother can be very abusive, cruel and delusional which I suppose is part of her condition but it's taking it's toll on us all.

I should also say that my sibling has also poured 5-figures into sorting the house out in so far as Mum let her and did physical work on the farm maintaining farm boundaries etc. despite having developed high blood pressure from the sheer stress of it all. Can this be taken into legal consideration aside from the years of care provided?

It just seems a shame that years of toil and building it all up by our father and previous generations now stand to be signed away in the blink of an eye. Incidentally we didn't challenge the will as we wanted to maintain our dignity as a family but our mother made it clear to us immediately afterwards that had we inherited anything at all she would have gone after us for it.... so I suppose we should have seen trouble ahead but in a small rural community you let a lot go to save face.

Apologies again for the length of this post and I hope I haven't swamped you with detail. Any advice would be much appreciated.

 

[mf1]

If your mother is "medically verified senile" then she does not have the legal capacity to sell or sign over anything.

This is a dreadful mess. My suggestion would be that your sibling see a solicitor with a view to having your mother made a Ward of Court.

At a certain stage, your Mother's wishes need to be over-ridden, if the situation is as you say it is, for her own safety.

As regards your sibling, to be honest, unless there was some form of agreement, any monies she expended on the farm are unlikely to be recovered unless the rest of the family agree to repay same on your mother's death.

mf

 

[harpist]

Hello MF1 and thank you for your prompt reply. It's a huge relief to hear that all's not lost.

With regard to my sister's investment (for want of a better phrase in the house & to a lesser degree the farm) I am the only other sibling and as far as I'm concerned that wouldn't be a problem (if anything she should get extra as hardship money).

Mum's will stipulates the house being left to my sister and the remaining land to be split equally (although that threatens to change regularly as she believes that I abandoned them).

Given that the will was made after her diagnosis I take it that it isn't valid? (although I have no interest in challenging the will as it stands) would it in the event of her dying first be the equivalent of dying interstat if that's the correct term?

Also how should we handle the family solicitor who is all in all a nice guy?

 

[mf1]

"Given that the will was made after her diagnosis I take it that it isn't valid? (although I have no interest in challenging the will as it stands) would it in the event of her dying first be the equivalent of dying interstat if that's the correct term?

Also how should we handle the family solicitor who is all in all a nice guy? "

A lot of very big questions there!

It depends on what is on the Death Certificate. It is not necessarily obvious on a Death Certificate what the mental capacity of the deceased may have been at the time of making a will. A family could decide not to challenge a will. A solicitor may have a medical cert confirming mental capacity. Who knows? There may well be an earlier will.

As for the family solicitor, would your sister consider a carefully worded letter to the solicitor saying how worried she is about your mother's mental capacity and hoping that, should the mother approach the solicitor to deal with her property in any significant way, that the solicitor would take medical advices before acting for her?

Just a thought.

mf

 

[harpist]

Your right this is a dreadful mess - bigger with a third party perspective than I previously thought....

Our mother's first and only will was made the December after Dad died -she was diagnosed with dementia in the earlier October but was adamant at the family solicitors insistence that she make her will ASAP so does that establish an incapacity timeline?

As to the family solicitor we don't know if he was aware of Mum's condition (she's on all the relevant medication most of the time), but see what you're saying about the letter, so we'll proceed gently there.

My sister is heartbreakingly at cracking point and doesn't want to continue as Mum's carer - she just wants her life back but doesn't want to see everything just frittered away (as you point out it can't be).

Her rationale is that she's happy for Mum to be cared for if need be but for the true value of the estate to be recognised along with the 8 years of service she's given (I hope I'm not making her to sound avaricious, but she's turned down work opportunities abroad out of a sense of obligation to Mum, not to mention the best years of her life).

I guess I'm just disappointed with my Father for not making provision for my sister when they asked her to return home to care for them & run everything...

h