Saw Child Verbally Abused in Shop

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I actually did confront a woman in Dublin zoo a couple of years ago about her behaviour to her child. As we entered the zoo at the same time we spent the first part of the visit in the same places at that is the way the zoo is set up. I finally got pi**ed off with the torrent of verbal abuse she was delivering to a small boy in a buggy who was very pale and withdrawn looking. I told her that if she continued with this abuse I was calling the guards. She did tell me to mind my f-ing business but I told her she was making it my business by doing it in front of me. She was with an older lady who I assume was her mother, tht woman seemed relieved that someone had intervened. I saw her a few times in other places in the zoo as the day went on, and yes, she had shut up!
 
Being a parent is hard work; Every parent 'loses it' at some stage. An eposide of this is not such a big problem. A pattern of this behaviour is a problem. It is certainly no harm to interrupt such an episode - the parent will probably secretly be grateful.
 

I'm not surprised by her reaction to your intervention but you handled it exactly the way it should be handled.
 
FredBloggs said:
I'm not surprised by her reaction to your intervention but you handled it exactly the way it should be handled.
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Indeed. Her initial aggression was probably instinct, but she probably realised a few minutes later that she was out of order. Well done!
 
Mandac, if you saw something that worried you I think there would be no problem ringing social services with the reg no. Even if they don't act on one incident they will, presumably, log the report and if a subsequent complaint is made about this woman they will know there has been a precedent. If the woman behaves like this if full public view, God knows what she might be doing in private.
 
After my last post yesterday I was in the car with the youngest, who incidentally was whinging all the way, I'm used to that, but I was thinking about this thread and lo and behold I was watching a mother cross a pedestrain crossing at traffic lights with 5 rows of cars. Mother was pushing the buggy and a girl of about 2/3 was out of the buggy, I guess training the child to walk, but half way across the child changed her mind and suddenly ran around the mother, mother gave the child a smack on the bum in front of all the cars, all this in less than a second, I wonder did anyone report that mother to social services, I certainly didn't but reporting it came into my mind because of this thread. I would not do that. I think the mother got an awful shock with the way the kid ran around oblivious to the danger of all the cars. Does this make her a bad mother. OP you don't know if the mother would really beat her child, if she had beaten the child, than that would be a different matter, I think the problem is that a lot of us are parents and some of us actually dread going to the supermarket, I know it's one of those places to avoid and my kids actually behave quite well there but anything could go wrong and the thought of it even stresses me out.
For those who have small kids the best way to 'train' them about supermarkets is to go when it's practically empty, have plenty of time, and if they misbehave be ready to leave immeditely and explain to the child if possible why you did this. You do this as many times as it takes until they learn to behave and the other thing is never, ever ever gave them even one sweet in a supermarket. Not even once, once and your done.
 

This is nonsense and a waste of Social Services valuable time. Social Services have no access to finding out who owns the car, and it may not belong to the woman in any case. Therefore, they have no "precedent" recorded.

liaconn said:
f the woman behaves like this if full public view, God knows what she might be doing in private.
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There are a huge presumption here based on one incident witnessed by an outsider. Nobody knows how this woman behaves in private, whether she loses her temper in public or not. I'm sure many parents are perfect angels while in public with their children but real devils when behind closed doors.
 
Welfarite said:
This is nonsense and a waste of Social Services valuable time. .
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How exactly, is reporting an incident to social services and letting them decide on whether or not to follow it up a 'waste' of their valuable time. If they decide, based on their professional knowledge, not to do anything, then that's up to them. If they decide to investigate further, then presumably its because they feel there might be something in it. All Mandac is suggesting doing is informing them that she saw something that aroused her concern.
 
Please put us out of our misery Mandac, did the Gardai raid the womens house with Social Services and take away her child or not ?
 
We don't know if the adult with the child was the child's mother. If she was a child minder would we look at this differently.
 
liaconn said:
How exactly, is reporting an incident to social services and letting them decide on whether or not to follow it up a 'waste' of their valuable time.
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Iirc, in at least one of the high profile child welfare stories/tragedies in recent years in the UK, the failure of social services to act sufficiently quickly to protect the child(ren) involved was blamed on the volume of work faced by the staff in question.
 


Yes, but I presume this was due to lack of staff, not because of concerned members of the public reporting what they genuinely believed to be worrying incidents. I would certainly be against malicious reports being made, but that's not what we're talking about here. Obviously, some of the incidents reported to social services will turn out to be nothing, but that's always going to be the case. An aunt of mine in Canada had a child who cried all the time because of an illness. Concerned neighbours, who didn't know her,called social services because they were worried. Social services called around, ascertained the situation and left happy. My aunt was just glad that people cared enough about her child's welfare to take some action when they believed something was wrong.
 
Update on this and I will keep it brief.

There are other complaints. There may be social and/or addiction issues involved.

Have spent some of yesterday evening and today following up. Told correct way not to confront. That's all I can do. Glad I followed up.
 
Fair play to you so for sticking with your gut feeling. If anything I have said in this regard is irrelevant to the actual situation, I gladly take it back
 
Well done MandaC.

Clearly you did the right thing, notwithstanding several pot-shots at you.
Shows it's important to follow your instinct while maintaining rational thought!
 
ubiquitous said:
Wait until the day comes when you as a parent are responsible for navigating your way through a supermarket or shopping centre with a small contrary child. You will cringe when you remember your reaction to this incident.
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"Navigating your way through a supermarket??" A bit dramatic!

My parents raised 4 small children very close in age and were very young themselves. They never behaved in the manner described. When we were disciplined (and we were) it was never in the middle of a supermarket screaming like a lunatic. I believe in children being disciplined. If you ask me, parents don't do it enough and that's why society is the way it is. But there's a time and a place and a manner in which to do it. Children need discipline, structure and guidance. And before someone attacks me, no I don't have children and have no desire to have them. But you don't have to be a parent to be aware of what makes a decent person.
 
Yoltan said:
And before someone attacks me, no I don't have children and have no desire to have them. But you don't have to be a parent to be aware of what makes a decent person.
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This is pretty much what our old Parish Priest used to say before he launched into his sermons about marriage and childrearing. It was pretty obvious to anyone that heard him that he knew a lot less about the subject than those to whom he was preaching.
 
Yoltan said:
"Navigating your way through a supermarket??" A bit dramatic!
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If you ever change your mind about having children (or end up minding nephews/nieces/friend's children) , you might find 'navigating through a supermarket' the least of it! Probably underplaying the experience, not overplaying it!
 
Ceist Beag said:
there is a big difference between cursing as you shout at a child or not cursing.
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93% of communication is non verbal so your tone of voice, the stance you take etc is more important.
I am sure there are lots of swear words that kids don't understand anyway.

Someone mentioned shouting is OK...swearing is not ......I think thats more to do with the Parent not wanting to be heard using expletives ...don't think it makes much difference to the child
 
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