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I dont see how you can call a loving mother loosing her rag in a shop abuse in anyway. If that was the case there would be a lot of chikd abusers in ireland I d say. CHild safty is an important thing of course. However lumping in all sorts of trivial issues does no good to the real issue of child abuse.[/quote
Where do you draw the line then? A mum verablly abusing her child, or tugging her along, or choosing to ignore a tantrum rather than deal with it? Are these trivial issues? These types of situations have become all the more common in recent times, is it because Mums are under more pressure. Personally, I find it very upsetting when I come across these Mums, who let their children scream their heads off, with A. No consideration for their childs needs and B. No consideration for other shoppers. It shows a clear lack of understanding and control of their children. If a child is visibly upset, her/his needs, need to be adressesd,
by communicating clearly with the child and giving them you complete and utter full attention by removing them from supermarket until they calm down. A tantrum is not the childs fault, its a lack of communication by the parent. Anyway, I have digressed, children are the most vulnerable in our society and they need to be protected at all times, and parents need to put more fun and thought into trips to supermarkets with kids.
I draw the line at minding my own business in a shop. And do you really think that this is becoming more common lately? Tough look if you find it upsetting> Kids are not machines, neither are mums dads, we have our good days our bad days our tantrums, we say thinks to our kids we wish we had nt and sometimes even in public. we go home learn from it and move on and no one is psycholocially scarred.. As far as you finding it upsetting Id say develop a thicker skin.
If a child is visibly upset, her/his needs, need to be adressesd,
by communicating clearly with the child and giving them you complete and utter full attention by removing them from supermarket until they calm down. A tantrum is not the childs fault, its a lack of communication by the parent.
Thats some lesson in child phsycology your giving there. See sometimes in stressful situations people find it difficult to be perfectly calm and consult their "What to expect from toddlerhood" book. Dont be so quick to judge others.
Is it acceptable behaviour for a moderator to make fun of an issue concerning a child's welfare. Once gain I'm appaled by Clubman's attidude. mandac, you do what you feel is right, only you saw what happened. I fully support you.
Not normal no and wrong yes. But Im willing to say people have thier bad days and on occasion do nasty things they may regret and yes even to thier kids. it does not however mean they should be called child abusers or that children will be permanantly scared emotionally.
Not normal no and wrong yes. But Im willing to say people have thier bad days and on occasion do nasty things they may regret and yes even to thier kids. it does not however mean they should be called child abusers or that children will be permanantly scared emotionally.
I'm a good parent 99.99% of the time - but am i to be judged on that .01%?
Sorry guys, I had a big long post typed and then when I went back to it I had lost it, so will have to start it again from scratch.
Nope you are not, as you said we are all prone to be pushed over the edge. This is not child abuse. However an observer cannot distinguish what is the .01% from more serious continuous abuse. So should they do nothing - even if the situation left them very uneasy?
Im no expert on the processes followed by child welfare however Im fairly sure that Im right in saying if the observers' instincts cause them to report the incident this does not mean the bailiffs will be at your door to arrest you. I guess (but am open to correction) it would mean assuming the correct details are provided that you are recorded and possibly, resources allowing, evaluated. Only if follow up reports are made would the situation be deemed serious/abuse surely? I know either way its embarassing - you'd rather not be reported for trying to control a misbehaving toddler - but being reported does not automatically make it abuse or you an abuser.
I am sure there are many false reports, or rather false alarms, received by child welfare but surely the fact that some are real needs to be focused on?
"We were doing this on the street the other day when a van drew up and a guy in his twenties launched into me for slapping a child. Before I could say anything my 6 year old roared "He wasn't slapping me! Mind your own business!"
I would say fair play to the guy in his twenties for bothering to pull in, he made a mistake but so what! He was defending what could have been an inniocent child and should be commended for that. If more people interfered less of this behavious would go on! I certainly would not take offence. I would question though why a 6 year old would tell an adult stranger to mind their own business!!
I would question though why a 6 year old would tell an adult stranger to mind their own business!!
Car, I wouldn't call that talking to an adult like an adult, I would call that being rude and inappropriate from a 6 year old!
"If a 20 something cant judge whats a harmless game and what isnt, where does it stop? You're advocating a knock on the door from social services every time you see someone high 5 their child, just to be on the safe side, like."
Thats simply not worth my while replying to!!
Can you elaborate on what you mean by interfere? if I ruffle my daughters hair on the street (or high 5 her, great game by the way) should I be asked by half a dozen people am I abusing her and expect a call from social services? Is all physical contact by an adult or a child to be queried?If more people interfered less of this behavious would go on! I certainly would not take offence
if every person was to report a child being chastised in a way they find offencive to social services think of the complete waste oftime and resources that would mean for social services. We are not living in 1980 east germany that we have toreport on each other all the time over every incident.
I for one am up for closing this thread now for 2 reasons -
Mandac will or can not answer the questions asked earlier about how/who she reported the initial incident
It is gone way off topic.
If Mandac wants to bring it back on topic by answering the above fair enough, if not it has been a complete waste of everyones time and the thread should be closed.
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