Royal visit

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DrMoriarty

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Prince Charles is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness and greets one.

The patient replies:

"Fair fa your honest sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin race,
Aboon them a ye take yer place,
Painch, tripe or thairm,
As langs my airm."

Charles is confused, so he just smiles indulgently and moves on to the next patient. The patient responds:

"Some hae meat an canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat an we can eat,
So let the Lord be thankit."

Even more confused, the Prince moves on to the next patient, who immediately begins to chant:

"Wee sleekit, cowerin, timrous beasty,
O the panic in thy breasty,
Thou needna start awa sae hastie,
Wi bickering brattle."

Now seriously troubled, Charles turns to the accompanying doctor and asks "Is this a psychiatric ward?"

"No," replies the doctor, "this is the serious Burns unit."
 
Just for you, so, Bubbly...

A wee Glesga wumman goes intae a butcher shop, where the butcher has just came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back, with his erse aimed at an electric fire. The wee wumman checks oot the counter display case then asks, "Is that yer Ayrshire bacon?"
"Naw," replies the butcher. "It's jist ma haun's ah'm heatin'.

[broken link removed]
 

Love it, love it!

Thank you, was nice to "hear" a scottish accent.


Added bit:
Was serving a customer today and he asked me
"are you foreign?"
Me "yes"
Carried on serving him, little bit of chit chat then I said
"I'm scottish"
"Ach" he says in his broad irish accent.."I knew you weren't foreign"

Jees but I smilled for hours after that..maybe you had to be there
 
Bubbly Scot said:
... "Ach" he says in his broad irish accent.."I knew you weren't foreign"...
Click to expand...
Correct, just a returned tattie hooker.

Now for your re-orientation...

Session 1 -

  • Repeat after me, w-h-i-s-k-e-y spells whiskey
  • Gaelic is pronounced Gay-lick
  • C-e-l-t-i-c is pronounced "Keltick"
  • Shinty is pronounced hurling
  • Kilt means "to remove life"
  • A skirt for men is called a skirt
  • A man wearing a skirt is called a TV, not a lady or laddie
  • Woman can have names other than Flora or Mary (as can men)
  • Men can have names other than Ian or Stewart (as can women)
  • Tossing the caber is not allowed in polite company
  • Tam o'Shanter ia pronounced caubeen (caw-been)

Session 2


  • A group of men on a playing field wearing blue shirts is not necessarily Glasgow Rangers (it may be a Fine Gael rally)
  • A group of men on a playing field wearing green and white hooped shirts is Glasgow Celtic (or Shamrock Rovers which is the same thing)
  • Irn Bru is called by its proper name here which is Taylor Keith Red Lemonade
  • Iona like Rockall is an Irish colony
  • James Connolly was an Irishman (the song proves it)
  • So is Billy Connolly
  • The First Irish & Irish Diapora Lions Tour to South Africa will take place in 2009
  • When Ian McGeechan grows up he wants to be Paul O'Connell

Here endeth the 1st and 2nd lessons.

Welcome home.
 
Caveat said:
You've really thought about this haven't you mathepac?
Click to expand...


It's belteen, in't it?

I'm just wondering how to explain to Mr Bubbly that he now has to refer to his favourite footie team as "K-E-L-T-I-C"

I describe Camogie (which my daughter plays) to the folks back home as "like shinty but more brutal".

Will never get the hang of pronouncing "gay-lic"
 
Bubbly Scot said:
I describe Camogie (which my daughter plays) to the folks back home as "like shinty but more brutal".
Click to expand...



You maybe already know this Bubbly, but in NI there are plenty of 'Scottishisms' in daily use. (I'll translate for those who don't know the words)

E.g. oxters (armpits)
agin (against)
door (for 'door' but pronounced to rhyme with 'lure')

and of course 'aye'
 
Most of them will be "broad" scots, from down Glasgow, Edinbugh way. Up in the Highlands we speak a better standard of english where I come from we supposedly speak the best english in Scotland!

Oxters, yes, I use that. Aye ofcourse. I even type that in texts. My steepest learning curve recently has been the use of "may". I use it as a polite way of giving permission.

if I say
"you may do it"..I'm saying, I give permission (to a child for example)
if my boss says
"you may do it"
.........he means, why is it not done yet!!!
 
Bubbly Scot said:
if I say
"you may do it"..I'm saying, I give permission (to a child for example)
if my boss says
"you may do it"
.........he means, why is it not done yet!!!
Click to expand...

Yep. Confusing alright!

But I suppose the Irish version is 'may' as in 'may as well' maybe?

Since you're not a 'weegie' I'll take this opportunity to quote the 'winning' football chant from a few years ago (chosen by Andrew Motion of all people) which is apparently sung by the home team supporters to any visiting Glaswegian teams. You probably know it - Sung to the tune of You Are My Sunshine:

You are a weegie, a smelly weegie
You're only happy on giro day
Your da's a dealer, your ma's a stealer
please don't take my hubcaps away...

 
On a similar note, last year Prince Charles and Camilla visited Rotherham and all the civic dignitaries were lined up at Rotherham station ready for the Royal train to arrive, As the train wheezed and huffed to a standstill the door to the Royal carriage opened and out stepped HRH sporting a genuine fox fur hat, with the poor creature's tail hanging forlornly down his back.

The Mayor of Rotherham and the Council leader stepped forward and the Council leader whispered in Charlie's ear, "My God, your Highness, it's one of the hottest days of the year, and - I mean, I know your views about hunting - but it's hardly politically correct, wearing a fox fur hat, now is it?"

"What???" exclaimed Charles, "oh, this old thing," he indicated his hat, "Mummy's idea!"

"Mummy's idea?" said the Council leader incredulously, "you mean Her Majesty the Queen's idea???"

"Oh yes," replied Charles, "you see, at breakfast she asked me what I was doing today, and I told her that I was coming to Rotherham and she said 'Rotherham? Wear the fox hat?'"
 
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