Rock a bye bye Ireland - your story

Hi folks, we did one of these stories before: basically your post takes the story on. If you can, try to not introduce too many new characters and astry to keep to the general theme.

So here goes...

Big Chief FatLips was sitting in his tent explaining to his squaw why, for reasons relating to due process and legal consideration, they couldn't divulge the names of the 10 people they would be inviting to the pipe smoking night. His squaw listened dutifully, wishing, not for the first time, that she could go back to her organic gardening and forget about being enterprising all the time. Though it did bring her a certain satisfaction to know that she might some day rise to be the Big Chief. The way things were going that day could be sooner than anyone thought. She conjured with the idea of being called Big Chief WellieBoots and it sounded good to her.

The flap on the tent rustled and a familiar face appeared smiling hugely: "Jaysus, what are yiz doin outta here on da bleedin' car park", said old Chief Cutest_of_Em_all. FatLips looked like he was likely to give the contextual precedent for his decision that was still under consideration by the relevant authorities who were completely impartial and would, according to clearly defined terms of reference, report to the entire community in the fullness of time giving due cognisance to the complexity of the issues before them and the legislative framework underpinning the situation, going forward. Old chief didn't give him a chance: "Whaddya say, let's go for a cuppa, alroight?!". "Actually, actually, you know, perhaps you'd consider givin us a dig out on the tea as I'm going thru a rough patch at the moment, going forward." Big Chief said "What did you do with the last 39million wampum I gave you?". "Jaysus, don't be asking me those kind questions, Jaysus you'd think I knoew something about money. Though I do make a few bob on the shetland pony races in Naul. I heard there's a great race planned for Jobstown on...." Big Chief interrupted, "Have you seen Piotr McLooneyiwich? He was supposed to be here an hour ago so we could take the dream medicine together...

"Piotr McLooneyiwich did ya say?", interrupted old Chief Cutest_of_Em_all. "Well er", he continued squinting into the darkest recesses of the Teepee suspiciously, "well, er, just between us tribal elders, I er, might gave some er, information that er, might be relevant to his er, delayed arrival, that I might be able to er, pass on, by way of a dig-out or a hot tip, er if we were on our bleedin' own.

"Er, here Mrs Big Chief FatLips, could you go pound some er, manioc or er, chew some bison hide for Big Chief FatLips new boots or write a buke or er, do some squaw stuff?"

Mrs Big Chief FatLips withdrew out of earshot and went about her squawly chores, seething that old Chief Cutest_of_Em_all still had such influence over her presence in the Grand Teepee of the Braves of Bravado

"I er, seen him earlier on me way here", continued old Chief Cutest_of_Em_all when they were on their own, "an' de Tribal Guards had pulled him over on dat new stretch of de Chisholm Trail you er, opened last year. I pulled up to er, see if I cudda helped. Dey charged him wit talkin' horse-5h1te or spreadin' it on your new road, I'm not really sure, but dey were in full uniform; Levis, dey used to be called but I hear since the recession dere now called levies.

"In anyway, dey arrested him an' took him to dat new place at the end of the Chisholm Trail, O'Bama Barracks, I tink it's called...

As they emerged from the tepee they could see the smoke signals in the distance. They were bringing news that a band of 120,000 ordinary injuns were marching, looking for equality and fairness.
"Equality!" squawked Big Chief FatLips. "Where's my friend Chief Froglover-Sleeps-with-a-Skinny-Model who can tell them all about equalité, fraternité and lisbon-tae?!"

The old chief smiled and said "I'm er glad that I er handed over to you, the tribe need a strong leader who can er take it in da neck, I mean lead them to greatness as soldiers of destiny." "I'm behind you 100er%. I heard that you recently decided to make all the braves give back up to 8% of the scalps they have taken in recent Battles of the Benchmark. Do yous think thats wyse??? And da uder thing I just don't get is why you haven't told the tribe that there is no golden circle, that the tribe fictitiously loaned the shell money to itself so it could deleverage a wise one who had smoked too much of the magic dream medicine...