Residential clinics in Ireland for the Morbidly Obese?

Re: Morbidly Obese

If you want to help your relative just remember that however well intentioned you may be, "help" is not always welcome
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Absolutely correct Sherib - it's very difficult to help as 'help' is construed at times as 'pity' and is generally not well received.

I am extremely grateful for the, as Clubman says, constructive and caring way in which you have all responded to this thread and, difficult as it might be, intend to continue with gentle suggestions in the hope of assisting in some way.

Sectioning is not an option, although she is obese and short of breath, this person is highly intellegent, alert and not suffering, I believe, from any form of mental illness other than depression. I'm not making a diagnosis here, that's just what I see.

The fact that she is, imho, so intellegent is in itself part of the problem and the reason why she is so reluctant to accept assistance. She's more inclined to listen to a professional than a family member and if we could just find one who is willing to persevere and follow-up on her treatment, it would be half the battle at least.

Once again, thanks for the suggestions.
 
Re: Morbidly Obese

While I'm not insensitive to the plight of the original poster, wouldn't it constitute insurance fraud to get treated for 'something else'?
 
Re: Morbidly Obese

This might be a contentious suggestion but might it be of some help to show this topic to the person in question assuming it doesn't compromise your relationship with her or otherwise cause problems?
 
Sectioning et al

This is thankfully not what it used to be, a life sentence in an institution ...often on the whim of a relative.

It is for a situation where the person afflicted WILL not help themselves.

If the 'situation' were a year or two old I would not contenance or recommend it but if it went beyond that, and the victim still refused to engage with the IDEA of treatment then something has to be done for the sake of all concerned parties .

I am also very confused about the Husband and his side of the argument ...if any......and if none why not ?
 
Specialist Help

A psychiatric social worker can be great in these situations .
 
Re: Specialist Help

I am also very confused about the Husband and his side of the argument ...if any......and if none why not ?
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It's a complicated situation involving sporadic, very violent outbursts, that has been on-going for over 20 years. He has been 'shell-shocked, brain-washed, terrorised, conditioned' into not rocking the boat and is very aware of what triggers these outbursts and avoids it where possible.

He is very isolated - she has over the years succeeded in alienating family and friends from herself and him - my contact with him takes place thru e-mails at work or whenever he calls on his mobile.

He is my primary concern - he is a good, kind, gentle, caring, considerate, fantastic person and has had a very unhappy life due to the problems his partner has. If I can suggest some form of help for her, which will in turn benefit him, then that's my main aim.

There are times when I fear for his sanity and even his very life when things aren't going well for her and feel that residential care in a clinical environment where all the services she needs can be provided under 1 roof may be the catalyst to change her life and make his more bearable.

If he doesn't feel able to broach the subject of residential assistance with her, then I think Sherib's suggestion for her to see an Endochrinologist might be a good place to start.
 
Re: Specialist Help

With regard to locating residential type programmes you could also try contacting RTE - they had (have?) a programme called Health Squad where a group of people take someone in hand and take a holistic approach to improving their health/life through exercise, change in diet, alternative therapies etc. Not saying you should send her off to the telly, just think that they must do some kind of research for the program and could be a good source of information (assuming they'd be willing to share!). Similarly the UTV (?) programme Celebrity Fit Club might be worth contacting with a "where can I do that" kind of query.

I really feel for her as this sounds very like me albeit a more extreme version. Someone posted above that the depression will need to be treated first. Actually, it probably can't be treated in isolation at first because everything will be so connected - it's a very vicious circle and all aspects will need to be treated simultaneously I would say. When it comes to overeating and depression it can be something of a "which came first, chicken or egg" situation. Also, the fact that she is very intelligent could be a hindrance in that she is probably capable of rationalising a lot.

As a matter of interest is she at all interested in changing? Why does her husband think she would agree to going to a residential programme? Or is it something they've discussed and she's fully behind it?
 
Re: Specialist Help

Actually, it probably can't be treated in isolation at first because everything will be so connected
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That's exactly why I thought residential care where there would hopefully be a dietitian/nutritionist/personal trainer for the weight loss, a psychologist/counsellor for the depression and a medical doctor to evaluate the physical condition and help deal with the nicotine addiction.

She's tried going to the gym, but felt that everyone was looking at her because she's so overweight. She's tried going for walks and found (real or imaginary?) people staring and children laughing at her. If her self-esteem could somehow be improved, perhaps the other problems could be resolved.

I haven't managed to put the residential idea to him yet as I was trying to gather some information first. I'm sure he'll have to wait for the right time to suggest it. I might get a brochure from a clinic or private hospital which he can pop into the Sunday paper, along with the other leaflets, and pretend it came with the paper. That's unfortunately how difficult it can be to help.
 
Re: Specialist Help

It sounds like on some level she's not happy with the way she is and wants to change so that's good at least. Maybe he could even start with something like a week or two at a luxury health spa - this is something that would be a treat (and if he's just come into some money no reason why he shouldn't be treating his wife) more than anything else but it would get her out of her routine as well as having probably healthier food served up to her. And being pampered, if she can relax enough to allow herself to be pampered (not as easy as it sounds when you're overweight and self-conscious about it).

Reiki is something which she might find useful - it's not just a relaxtion treatment, it is a form of therapy and if she found a good practitioner then it might at least get her used to the idea of talking to someone. Also, as you don't need to get undressed, she might be more comfortable with this.

I would also suggest that her husband consider counselling himself. It makes more sense for him to sort out his issues and getting professional advice with regard to helping his wife and how to approach that.
 
Re: Specialist Help

She's tried going to the gym, but felt that everyone was looking at her because she's so overweight.

For what it's worth there are ladies only gyms which some women might prefer.

Reiki is something which she might find useful

Personally I'd be very skeptical about Reiki and believe that people should be particularly wary about recommending this sort of "treatment" for people suffering from serious mental and/or physical illnesses.
 
Re: Specialist Help

Fair enough Clubman, a lot of people are skeptical about it. I've found it helpful, it was something I did as I wanted help relaxing - I was in very stressful job that I hated and the centre I went to happened to be very close to work, it was reiki or a massage and I decided to try something new. The fact of having someone to talk to was something I hadn't expected and going for reiki sessions played a big part in my decision to finally go for counselling with a registered psychologist, something I'd sort of intended to do for years but never gotten around to. Many people do feel there is a stigma attached to attending a psychologist and are reluctant to do so. As reiki is an alternative treatment primarily intended for relaxation it may be more "acceptable" to someone wary of trying "normal" counselling. I wouldn't suggest that reiki is going to cure disease but I don't believe it's a waste of time and money either.
 
Re: Specialist Help

Mrs Bear went to Reiki a few times, said it was beneficial. In my narrow minded viewpoint on this treatment I thought that lying on a bed for 45 minutes probably played a larger part in her relaxing than the treatment itself, but who knows. The fact that she stayed still for that length of time at all was a miracle
 
its is all interconnected.

Dunno Delgirl. This is a hard one.

The psychology is related to the self image which appears founded in fact and this feeds back into the psychology and so on, a vicious vicious circle if ever I saw one .

Psychiatric Social Workers can be useful because they are an informal outreach from the formal Psych Units and can advise the husband as much as the victim on all the available options......franlkly they are both victims at this stage and he should go to one in his own right

A Psychiatric social worker may find a treatment programme that suits her; ostensibly for Obesity but also capable of dealing with the underlying issues which may be hormonal (endocrine) and/psychological but underlying the condition in any case.

Janet made the excellent point that any form of therapy , however flaky sounding it may be to those of us who are healthy, can have the desired side effect of forcing her to communicate with professionals for the first time in a long time and can become a key catalyst for self help .

It would also be a good idea for HER family to step in to back her husband up on whatever sequence of treatments is recommended because it seems to me that the greatest wrong is to do nothing in this case whether motivated by fear or otherwise.
 
Re: Specialist Help

I think we've been over this before...

Many people do feel there is a stigma attached to attending a psychologist and are reluctant to do so. As reiki is an alternative treatment primarily intended for relaxation it may be more "acceptable" to someone wary of trying "normal" counselling.

Again I think that people need to be very careful about comparing/equating "treatments" such as Reiki with those that are based on some sort of objective, scientific, proven grounds such as many counselling/talk therapies.

I wouldn't suggest that reiki is going to cure disease but I don't believe it's a waste of time and money either.

In the absence of evidence or first hand experience I would be very skeptical about Reiki and many other alternative/complementary "treatments" yielding anything other than placebo effects at best, if even that. Of course if they do yield positive placebo effects well and good but there is no reason a priori to expect such an outcome. Anecdotal reports of positive experiences do not obviate the need for independent, objective, scientific evidence of how such "treatments" work and, to date, such evidence simply does not exist.
 
Considering the high number of views on this topic - here are some links I found helpful and which may be of interest to others:

National Obesity Forum
Weight Concern
Weight Wise
[broken link removed]

With the rapid rise in numbers of obese persons in Ireland, maybe the next business boom here will be in private obesity clinics covering not just weight loss, but also the underlying causes?
 
Delgirl,

You could try the Ruthland Centre in Dublin (ruthland@aol.ie)
They run residential programmes for those addicted to alcohol, drugs, gambling and food. They also provide family assesment, pre counselling and support.
 
Hi Holly23, this look really interesting and I think she'd probably be more comfortable with care in Dublin than mainland UK.

Thanks for your help.
 
you could try looking up evidence based medicine/psychiatry/psychology for recommended treatments for both obesity and depression. There are an awful lot of well-meaning but ineffectual therapies out there. If memory serves me right, the National Institute for Clinical Excellence in the NHS provides guidelines. After that try the NIBPS (N.Ire British Psych Society) who should know of reputable places for treatment. The various Priory HOspitals should provide suitable treatment, but I strongly urge you to check out the various options and discuss them with your relative and/or her husband.
 
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