Hi! everyone, thanks again for replies. I don't know what would really be best for kids. I suppose their mum's happiness and mental health is important, and ex was extremely vindictive. O.K. at moment, but lots of fun and games during summer, although he has new partner. Never looses a chance to make a belittling comment to me, though, in fairness to him, he does it out of earshot of the children. My ex is much more fond of our daughter, than our son - its something other people have noticed - so I guess it would not be so good for our lovely son to be too near him. Yes, mercman, soon enough, I guess they won't want to be with any of us - and all this hassle about access might be a distant memory - thanks again for your replies.