Relationship split house and child

Hi All,

Some advice is needed.

Story in short is that a cousin and her boyfriend have broken up. It is very acrimonious. They have 1 child.

Before they broke up they built a house on her parents land (right beside them).

Two weeks into moving in he leaves and says he wants the house sold and half the remaining funds, he has met someone else. The house was unfinished so it would be questionable its value - especially in this market but it would definitely be greater than the mortgage.

The house is on a 100% mortgage and he has not contributed to any mortgage re-payments. She has paid this completely, the bank and her solicitor are aware that she is completely funding the mortgage. She wishes to keep the house as it would be the best place for her son and has asked him to remove himself from the mortgage (via her solicitor) but he insists that he wants it sold and half of the proceeds.

He is now threatening her saying that he will take their child if she does not sell and is frightening her with threats that she will be homeless and not have her son. She is quite young and not experienced in such matters and he appears to be bullying her. He does not appear to care whether this would also leave his son homeless.

Now as family are biased...I was hoping for some objective thoughts.

She went to her solicitor and has a financial plan to keep the house.

Can she keep the house or can he force her to sell?

My sister went through something quite similar. Basically she had a remotgage and give him 30 grand. He left and has hardly been seen or heard of since. She wasn't too bad as she has a well paid job but it has been tough. She had a good solicitor too which is half the battle. If she can afford it she should try to buy him out and then go for maintanence.

As previous poster says she needs a good solicitor. Fairest thing would be to get 3 valuations from auctioneers on the value of the house, subtract what she has contributed (savings & mortgage payments), plus the site, (presumable her site alone as gift from her parents to her). Divide what's left into two, probably as you say not much, particularly as it's relatively recent and then when you have this figure pay that if she can afford it. Boyfriend seems to be forgetting he'll have to pay maintenance, maybe what she has to pay him out of the house profits can be used as maintenance. Right now she should get out a diary and record everything she is paying and what he contributes to the child's maintenance and when he has visitations with the child and any threats he makes, might be better if she sees the father as little as possible or only when someone neutral is present. Also she needs to figure out everything she contributed to the house being built. It will be helpful when she goes to a solicitor. This advice is based on one side of the story. At the end of the day it's better for the child if everything could be settled amicable. He will the child's father forever.

Holy_Caprica said:

She went to her solicitor and has a financial plan to keep the house.

Can she keep the house or can he force her to sell?

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She should work closely with her solicitor and discount "advice" received by well meaning relatives, neighbors and especially posters on anonymous discussion boards!

Thanks all for the advice. She has been seeing a solicitor for a number of weeks who seems OK (but slow).
The solicitor seems positive about the situation, but she herself does not feel confident when she meets the ex, so it was really just to hear some other suggestions to bring up with the solicitor that might support her case that have not been thought of previously.
Many thanks.

Wasn't there a major campaign recently by unmarried fathers who appeared to have absolutely no rights regarding their children. Presumably his threats that he will take the child have no legal basis. She should make a written record of all such threats as they might be useful in any future case.

Brendan

Advise her not to meet ex on her own. Having a witness usually cuts down on threats and intimidation.