Reasons to move location

[elainem]

Thinking of moving back to Dublin after Christmas. Discovered that I really dislike small town living, all the gossip and backbiting and everyone wanting to know everyone's bussiness. Recently two friends of mine were really upset by completely malicious and unfounded gossip/roumours. Am in small country town now for four years and finally believing what everyone told me that I am a city girl.

Just wondered what would be good. Just wondered what would be considered good reasons to move, given that I also have a child in First and a child in Second Class:

1. Is it ok to move the kids just because I do not like the town.

2. Definitely no job opportunities down here for me - but as I will be only working part-time for the next few years that's not such a big issue. Though like most country areas - jobs seem to be generally got on who you know.

3. Friends - are still mostly in Dublin. Have been wary of making friends here because I see and hear how a lot of people gossip about each other in a very negative way.

4. I'm studying part-time in Dublin.

5. I seem to have a completely different way of looking at things than a lot of people down here - I don't want to know people's business, who had an affair with who, or who is breaking-up or who is beating their wife etc.

6. School not great at all. There have been a lot of problems in the school, and the principal's attitude has been the cause of most of the problems. I was the first one to complain to the board of management. Since then, twelve parents have put in complaints to the BOM, and several parents have taken their children out of the school because of the problems.

7. Would be moving to Drumcondra in Dublin. I believe most of the schools are excellen there with a good range of after school activities.

8. Cost of living and childcare much lower in the country.

Any comments on what would be good enough reasons to move would be helpful. Should I just stay, though I am not happy here, so as not to disrupt the children's routine. My son wants to move, my daughter doesn't, but is coming around to the idea especially as Westwood for swimming and Dollymount Strand and Clontarf quite near for walks.

Need to think about decision soon as house in Drumcondra is very small and would need an extension for music room for my daughter and home/office for me, as I will be doing lots of work at home in the future.

Comments much appreciated.

 

[Caveat]

Discovered that I really dislike small town living, all the gossip and backbiting and everyone wanting to know everyone's bussiness. Recently two friends of mine were really upset by completely malicious and unfounded gossip/roumours.

jobs seem to be generally got on who you know.

Have been wary of making friends here because I see and hear how a lot of people gossip about each other in a very negative way.

I don't want to know people's business, who had an affair with who, or who is breaking-up or who is beating their wife etc.

No offence Elaine, but comments like these ring alarm bells for me.

All of these apply to every larger town or city too ( I have experience of city/town/country living) but these experinces/feelings are more likely to be muted in the general business of day to day living in a city for example. The minutae of life is more magnified in the country, that's all.

(Location is what you make it )

Having said that, if you are not happy, you are not happy - simple as that.

I'm not a parent but I'm guessing that if I was, my kids would be my first priority - poor school + apparent desire/acceptance by them to move to Dublin would probably make my decision for me, cost of living not being a problem that is.

 

[stephen1381]

Sounds like moving is a done deal in your mind. Would it be easy to sell up and move? I remember when I was a kid I had moved to 3 schools by the time I was in second class, Kids can adjust easily enough.

I live in the midlands and would love to move back to Dublin to be closer to family and friends

 

[elainem]

Thanks to both of you for your replies. Yes, it is probably a done deal. Couldn't sell my house in country now due to downturn - one auctioneer said it was a nice house in a nice area but he didn't want to take it on his books as he had serveral several similar houses already on his books - at least he was honest. There is a possibility of renting the house out, and even with rents as low as they are, the small mortgage would be well covered. The small house in Drumcondra was left to us.

Caveat, I agree that life is magnified in a small town, but maybe a bit too much for me. I lived in Dublin for 13 years and England for 8. I was brought up in Waterford. When we were growing up, Waterford was very like where I live now - lots of backbitting, gossip, etc. big fish in a small pond sort of stuff. My experience of some parts of Dublin is that someone could be dead for a week and no one would know. I did live in the suburbs also where there would have been slightly more gossip, but never found it to the extent I have found it in this small town - it reminds me of Waterford 30 years ago.

Thanks again for the replies. Kids are my main worry, but I'm glad to hear that they can be adaptable - never to sure and as a mum one worries about all sorts of things to do with the children.

 

[foxylady]

Thanks to both of you for your replies. Yes, it is probably a done deal. Couldn't sell my house in country now due to downturn - one auctioneer said it was a nice house in a nice area but he didn't want to take it on his books as he had serveral several similar houses already on his books - at least he was honest. There is a possibility of renting the house out, and even with rents as low as they are, the small mortgage would be well covered. The small house in Drumcondra was left to us.

Caveat, I agree that life is magnified in a small town, but maybe a bit too much for me. I lived in Dublin for 13 years and England for 8. I was brought up in Waterford. When we were growing up, Waterford was very like where I live now - lots of backbitting, gossip, etc. big fish in a small pond sort of stuff. My experience of some parts of Dublin is that someone could be dead for a week and no one would know. I did live in the suburbs also where there would have been slightly more gossip, but never found it to the extent I have found it in this small town - it reminds me of Waterford 30 years ago.

Thanks again for the replies. Kids are my main worry, but I'm glad to hear that they can be adaptable - never to sure and as a mum one worries about all sorts of things to do with the children.

IMO, you should definitely move as you dont sound one bit happy, kids are your priority alright but as they are still quite young now would be a better time to move them and they do adapt very quickly, also if you are very unhappy this is bound to rub off on the kids eventually. Best of luck with your move if you do decide to go ahead.