question about the family home

A

angryman

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i have been seperated for the last 9 years with 1 child, paying maintance and half the mortgage from the day i left the family home since then a few things have changed-i lost my job and my ex has her partner staying in the family home between 4/6 times a week for the last year. the mortgage is covered by an insurance policy at the moment but my ex wants money for our daughter,i have 3 other children and a mortage with a new partner so i cant afford to give my ex anything at the moment.i have asked her several times about buying me out but she has no intrest she wants her and her partner to live there rent free. how do i stand with her partner staying in the house
ps she has no job and i think she is getting loan parents
 
Well you can ask if he would pay rent but it seems as if that is unlikely. So, unless you can both negotiate something, your only real option is to seek a separation of divorce. If you seek a separation or divorce, what do you think will happen? Will a Court order the sale of the property? Will there be funds available after the mortgage is paid off to re-house your ex? Could she work?

Unless you and your ex have some proposal to put to a court then it may be ( impossible to say accurately) that the court will not order a sale until your child is 18.

You should take legal advice

mf
 
Angryman
This name is not becoming of such an honourable fellow as yourself. You have acted with love and respect towards your daughter since your separation. Your little girl remains in the family home and thanks to daddy has all the little extras in life she deserves. Now like so many others today you find your back against the wall in trying to provide for your loved ones. My advise would be to write a letter to your ex partner explaining your financial situation to her. Yes she probably is already aware how difficult things are for you at the moment but seeing it in writing can sometimes make a person think. You are taking the first steps in trying to reach a solution to what may be a long term situation. In the letter make no mention whatsoever to your ex partners source of income and living arrangements after all she pays half the mortgage so she has a right to house guests/visitors. You are only concerned with a positive outcome. Explain to her that while you are unemployed you cannot pay maintenance for your daughter but that as soon as you find employment again you will recommence payments. Maybe you could offer some little inexpensive treats for your daughter in the meantime. Explain to her that you will possibly not be in a position to continue to pay half the mortgage after the mortgage protection insurance runs out. Tell her your concerns are real and you wish to work them out together with her so as your daughters life is not disrupted in any way. You own one half of this house she owns the other half and together you both provide a home for your daughter. I feel your ex will do whats best for her daughter. Good luck.
 
mf1 said:
Well you can ask if he would pay rent but it seems as if that is unlikely. So, unless you can both negotiate something, your only real option is to seek a separation of divorce. If you seek a separation or divorce, what do you think will happen? Will a Court order the sale of the property? Will there be funds available after the mortgage is paid off to re-house your ex? Could she work?

Unless you and your ex have some proposal to put to a court then it may be ( impossible to say accurately) that the court will not order a sale until your child is 18.

You should take legal advice

mf
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sorry forget to mention we got a judical seperation 8ish years ago i suggested he pay rent but that wont happen. also the mortgage is almost paid she seems content to go the distance my argument is me having to pay maintance for her new partner to stay in the family home
 
The go for Divorce. Or seek a review of the maintenance in the Judicial Separation based on her having a lodger.

mf
 
angryman said:
sorry forget to mention we got a judical seperation 8ish years ago i suggested he pay rent but that wont happen. also the mortgage is almost paid she seems content to go the distance my argument is me having to pay maintance for her new partner to stay in the family home
Click to expand...

Is the maintenance not used for your daughter?
 
UPDATE;
the mortgage insurance will be up shortly and i am about to go for jobseekers allounce but because my partner works im told i wont get anything..can me and my ex get help with the mortgage payments or will her partner staying in the house 5-6 nights a week stop this
 
Bronte said:
Is the maintenance not used for your daughter?
Click to expand...
the maintenance is hardly used on my daughter her and her new partner can go to spain every year but cant afford to bring my daughter on holiday..the list could go on
 
Did the judicial separation include the provision that you must pay half the mortgage for ever? How much maintenance are you paying?
 
dereko1969 said:
Did the judicial separation include the provision that you must pay half the mortgage for ever? How much maintenance are you paying?
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at the moment im not paying anything since april but for the last 9 years
ive paid 150per week that includes towards the mortgage ..mortgage is aprox 340 per month
 
no you're not answering the question.
what did the terms of your judicial separation state regarding the mortgage?
being in breach of the terms of the judicial separation agreement will not help you in looking for a judicial review of the arrangements.
 
dereko1969 said:
no you're not answering the question.
what did the terms of your judicial separation state regarding the mortgage?
being in breach of the terms of the judicial separation agreement will not help you in looking for a judicial review of the arrangements.
Click to expand...

therewas nothing about the mortgage ?
she has the sole right to reside in the family home
 
It would seem to me therefore that you've been overpaying maintenance and that you haven't actually been paying anything towards the mortgage, you may have regarded it as paying half the mortgage. Did the agreement specify €7,800 a year? Seems quite high, were you on massive money at the time?
 
dereko1969 said:
It would seem to me therefore that you've been overpaying maintenance and that you haven't actually been paying anything towards the mortgage, you may have regarded it as paying half the mortgage. Did the agreement specify €7,800 a year? Seems quite high, were you on massive money at the time?
Click to expand...


no not on massive money was what we agreed on at the time (foolish me thought i was doing the best thing for my daughter)
my seperation agreement says somehere the mortgage is paid from maintenance
 
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