Problems in the workplace

A

AccsManager

Guest
Hello Everyone,
I am looking for some help. I manage a small office, I have two members of staff both older than me. If I have to pull one of the staff up on something, I then get the slient treatment from the two of them. If I am busy and just basically getting on with my job, I get smart comments regarding how stressful it is / how quite the office is etc. I find this hurtful because I more or less let these two members of staff do their own thing as they are more than capable of doing so. Yet they make me feel like I am the worst in the world. At this stage I don’t know what to do. I have tried to be friendly etc but I don’t seem to be making any improvement. This is stopping me from doing my job as at times I am more concerned with not being the big bad wolf then actually getting on with doing what I have to do. I am capable of doing my job, but lately I am beinging to feel that I cannot do it and maybe I should do something else, but I love what I do and aside from this I am happy in my job.
 
You have to give up mister nice guy and let them know who's boss. Next time they start smart comments ask him for a report of his work for the last few days and what he intends doing the next few days. I bet the other fellah will shut up then.
 
On the face of it, it sounds like it could be bullying in the workplace. Most policies would recommend that you:
-decide to do something about it
-informally approach your colleagues to outline the behaviour that you are unhappy with, say how it makes you feel and request that it stop
-if that does not work, formally adress the matter. This will involve documenting (kepping a log) of incidents, how they made you feel, who else was present when the incident occurred, etc. A meeting is then requested, which is facilitated by a third party (e.g. your boss). The problems are put to your colleagues and they have the chance to reply. If appropriate, the boss requests that the behaviour ceases and agrees a review period.

Hope this is helpful and good luck.
 
Let me say first that I'm sorry to hear that you are having such problems. I'm not being unkind or critical but being realistic about a problem is the first step to seeking the solution. Can I say therefore that it seems to me that you have lost your authority? OTOH you are in charge, responsible to the owner (I presume)for the smooth running of the office and that's what's most important, both to the owner and to yourself. I've also picked up that you are not unhappy with how the staff are actually doing their jobs.

Although it's always nice to be friendly with your staff, its lack shouldn't stand in the way of you demanding the respect and authority you are entitled to. Therefore I think that you have only one choice if you want to remain in your job and that is to confront these two (who are bullies in effect) and tell them bluntly how you feel and what changes you wish them to make.

You didn't mention the owner and what his or her attitude is to what's going on. Assuming that as I suspect you are left to get on with it yourself, then as I've said, it's your problem to resolve. You can't use the owner as some sort of big stick to beat the staff with.

If you feel unable to face them (and I don't underestimate for a moment how difficult this can be) I'm very much afraid that you will have to consider your suitability for management or supervisory work. That's not a criticism of you because after many years of management experience, I know that people have different skills and attributes so it's a matter of horses for courses.

Sorry if I sound negative.
 
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In this case - they know they have the upper hand and will play on the fact that you are trying to be nice. They obviously don't respect you so you may as well come down hard on them - I agree with previous post - ask for work plans, everytime they say something nasty - hit them with another request or give them more work to do. - If they are going to slag you anyway you may as well get more work done

You are a manager for a reason - get tough on them stop trying to be everybody's buddy. I learned long ago that friendship in work is all very good but at the end of the day as a manager you have to manage people and call the shots not be bullied. Forget the age thing - obviously you were the better choice for the job despite age.
 
"If you feel unable to face them (and I don't underestimate for a moment how difficult this can be) I'm very much afraid that you will have to consider your suitability for management or supervisory work. "

That is not true at all and more than a bit patronising. If the situation is as you have described, it is a case of bullying. Bullying can happen to anyone in any situation and is not a reflection on your own suitability but on the character of the bullies. I agree you need to face it dwn, but do so appropraitely and in such a way that you do not simply inflame the situation (which I think would happen if you followed the advice in some of the other replies).

Remember though that anyone could have arrived into that office in your position and faced the same thing regardless of who they were. Although you now have to deal with it, you are not the problem in this situation.
 
Thank you all for your comments, and I really appreicate everything you have all said. I would not like to fire either of them, as to be honest I feel that I am at fault for this too. I havent managed properly by right I should have addressed this problem months ago, but I didnt know how and this is due to my lack of skills in dealing with employees. I have become more reserved in myself within work. Outside of my own office I get on very well with all the other staff however I know that my staff give me a 'bad name'. If I all of a sudden stop the 'nice guy' and become more tough (this would be hard for me but I want this job so I would do it) I am worried that I then be playing into their hands and become the horrible boss they make me out to be. I want to be a good manager that gets on well with their staff, I have been here a long time and I have put in a great deal of effort in making this department work and I dont want to walk away from it because I cant deal with my staff, this sounds so bloody weak! If I sit down with these girls and say right the comments have to stop etc its just going to sound silly.. and I would find this really hard to do. Sorry guys I know you are thinking what the hell is this one doing managing an office and sometimes I feel the same some of the time, but the fact is I can do my job and before these staff I had no problems.
 
Maybe I was being a bit over the top when I said to fire one of them but you must divide and conquer here. You should pick whichever is the worst of them and go down a relatively hard road with them. Like all bullies the other will get the drift and this will start to separate them. Don't take on both at once.
 
just a bit of advise..... if you plan on approaching either i think you need to have another member of management witnessing it. just in case....
as far as i know if management gives verbal warnings etc you need to have someone witness it so it doesnt get messy down the line (he said, she said etc)
These 2 workers sound untrustworthy - i wouldnt take any chances. just my opinion
 
Yes I have had training, which was very good and normally I would be fine, but this has got out of hand and I dont know how to get back into control!
One of them is the 'leader' type in things and when she is out of the office things are fine.. I think you are right and its time I stopped worrying about upsetting people and started doing my job! At the end of day if I dont I will end up out the door.. I agree, the next time the comments come along I will point out something that needs / is not done.. The next time they decided to go on a 'go slow' just to annoy me because I am under pressure I will request work from them.. This is all easier said then done but I know I have to do it. And if the worst case happens then I will have to speak with the MD about it. Thank you all for your comments its good to feedback on these kind of things..as you dont always have people in the office you can bring things like this up with.

I agree these two are very cute and act like butter would not melt around other managers, but I get the impression some of them know exactly what one of this like.. I reckon her bad mouthing has done the rounds are they have heard it etc. saying that I have never said anything to any other manager. I know if I come down to hard on them, they will round this whole thing around on me! Thats why I need to be careful and play this by the book.
 
"If I sit down with these girls and say right the comments have to stop etc its just going to sound silly.. and I would find this really hard to do."

Often people request a third party to sit in on such a meeting. You may find the following extract helpful (it is from a policy I was involved in drafting):

"If an incident or series of incidents occur which offends you, it may be sufficient to explain clearly to the person engaging in such behaviour that it is unacceptable. In circumstances where this is too difficult or too embarrassing to do on your own, you should seek support from your supervisor / manager or from a colleague. However, if you decide not to do this, you should follow the procedures outlined below or in stage 3 (formal stage)

In general, the majority of incidents can be resolved amicably between the parties involved. Experience has shown that the informal method described below of dealing with cases is more satisfactory in the long-run. This process has the advantage of being much quicker and, in a lot of cases, would not involve the calling of witnesses. Therefore, it is likely to ensure a more satisfactory solution for both parties. However, the option exists of bypassing this stage and proceeding directly to Stage 3 (Formal Procedures).

1. Keep a diary of events to record of the pattern of behaviour or instances where you consider that bullying/harassment has occurred. This diary should contain details such as dates, times, persons present, details of what was said or what occurred, how you felt at the time and what your response was.

2. Request a meeting with the person you believe is bullying/harassing you (Party B), in order to discuss matters. At the meeting, the following should apply:
§ where necessary, the meeting may be facilitated by a third party
§ you should clearly outline your difficulties and clearly object to the bullying/harassment and request that it stop
§ it is important to bear in mind that the other person may not be aware that his/her behaviour is causing difficulty
§ seek to resolve your differences and establish a pattern of interaction that does not involve of any forms of bullying/harassment
§ Party B may respond to you at the meeting or, if requested, should be given an opportunity to consider his/her response, in which case the meeting may be adjourned. Party B should be asked to respond in a constructive manner
§ the resolution, as appropriate, may include any of the following: a commitment to cease the particular behaviour, modify the behaviour, a plan to eliminate situations where the parties would be in conflict, and/or monitoring.
Alternatively, it may emerge as a result of the discussions between the parties, that there may have been a degree of misunderstanding in relation to certain behaviours and the resolution may make provision for compromise or appropriate explanation or acknowledgement.

3. If there is no satisfactory indication of resolution between the parties, you should refer the complaint to Stage 3, i.e. formal procedures."
 
I feel pretty bad for you - you sound down. Just a few points - I've no managerial experience so the others may want to comment on my suggestions.

>>I feel that I am at fault for this too<<

Remember this is how people always feel when they are bullied - that it's their fault.

>>I have been here a long time and I have put in a great deal of effort in making this department work and I dont want to walk away from it <<

Fair play to you. Don't let these two office b*s take anything away from you.

I think that you really want this job but are lacking as you've said some management skills. Is there a more senior manager, perhaps in a different department who can help in a mentoring type way? You might only have to say that you need to regain some respect and authority.

These two do need to be taken in hand. I agree with making something happen if they seem idle enough to be making smart comments. More work. Or, if anything is said, say something to one of them like "Can we have a quick chat in my office please?" Ask for an immediate chat to discuss what the problem is and how they feel their work is going. If the comment was obvious enough, ask them what that was all about.

Aren't they worried about the repercussions if you turn against them? Do you do performance reviews? Is there a future scenario where they would be asking you for a reference or a recommendation for another role in or outside the company? Who decides their salary raises/bonuses? You can't always be nice. They should be the ones trying to be nice to you not always the other way round! I would make the point individually in a professional way. Ask them what their goals are in terms of promotion etc. What role you might play in that? Anything to make them think about the fact that they need you on their side and they shouldn't be getting on the wrong side of you.

If they complain, offer them a chance to discuss any grievances with you and agree actions to go forward with those. This will force them to take responsibility for their remarks.

You may want to try to identify which of them is the ring leader and if you think that one of them would be ok otherwise. Get that person and put the fear of God in them. Tell them there is a bad attitude and a behavour pervading the office. Make sure they understand that you as a manager are getting tired of it and as a manager will have be forced to do something and you are giving them a chance to say what their position is.

It only came out in your last post that they are female. Are you a woman or a man?
 
rapid said:
"If you feel unable to face them (and I don't underestimate for a moment how difficult this can be) I'm very much afraid that you will have to consider your suitability for management or supervisory work. "

That is not true at all and more than a bit patronising..
Click to expand...

Re-reading what I wrote I can see how you might take that interpretation, Rapid, and I apologise to the OP if he or she took that interpretation also. It is the case nevertheless that I have had personal experience of dealing with people in management positions who did not have innate management skills and suffered in consequence. People are generally happier doing a job which suits their own personal capabilities. If (and I stress the 'if') it had been the case that AccsManager is in that category then my advice stands. He or she has however now stated that managing people was not a problem previously therefore I withdraw the remark.
 
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