Possible sexual discrimination by employer - opinions appreciated.

Hi all,
firstly apologies for the vagueness of the post - sensitive nature, will keep it 'hypothetical' for now for potential legal reasons and would appreciate all opinions. In brief..

Clare & Anne have been in a relationship for the last ten years (have always been open about this to all family, friends and colleagues). Six years ago a relative of Anne's approaches Clare with a job offer. The relative knows about their relationship . After careful consideration (working with 'family' inlaws ) Clare accepts the position in a managerial role.

Approx 2.5 years ago at a social non-work related event, Clare's employer, rather drunk at the time, gets argumentative and verbally abusive towards her, raising issues about her sexuality. Next day, employer apologises, Clare acknowledges this but begins to look for new employment elsewhere (difficult in rural location) The following week, her employer is diagnosed with an extremely serious illness. Out of 'friendship' & family ties, Clare retains her position, runs her employers business for the next year & half, while he/she is treated and receives the all clear.

Since then all has been fine, both personally and professionally between the two.

Fast forward to last weekend - again, a family non-work related event. Employer gets drunk again and turns to Clare. Comments shouted include demands to stop telling people in the locality about her lifestyle and relationship, remarks about getting satisfaction from telling people about her sexuality and repeated comments about how her relationship has negatively impacted on her employers business in the locality. I have been assured that NONE of the above comments have any bearing and, if anything, Clare & Anne prefer to keep their realtionship to themselves, being a small rural town.

Followed again by an apology by way of text the following day and an apology in person this morning. Clare is extemely uncomfortable in continuing her employment in this position as a result but there really are NO other employment positions in the locality.

Can I please get opinions on this situation and the direction (if any) Clare should take? I find it outrageous that an employer should make such demands on a staff member (hide your lifestyle, lie about it, make it the issue for the downturn in company income - which it isn't, if anything Clare has carried the business and worked at keeping it afloat. Clare & Anne are well liked, respected and welcomed by the town community if that is of any importance)

I realise times are stressful for all business owners but surely remarks and verbal attacks like this cannot be allowed nor repeated?

Opinions on the situtation are appreciated.

Hi, I think the discrimination aspect isn't really what you're looking for as she hasn't been discriminated against as such, i.e. suffered a form of penalisation (overlooked for promotion, etc).

However, as described, it does appear to be harassment on the basis of sexuality. The difficulty is that they're non-work events, though the individual involved did make accusations around work that could link it back to the workplace.

Ultimately, the first action is to lodge a grievance against the individual (as per company policy if they have one). I undestand in a small employer this may prove problematic as to who the grievance is lodged etc. But it depends on where the employee wants to take this and how far. Ultimately, she could have grounds to resign and take a case for constructive dismissal. That's pretty big step and also with the family attachment, it may also cause further ill will (of no relevance I accept).

However, it would look better to give the "employer" the chance to investigate and address the behaviour. If there are no written procedures for grievance, then the employee should still formally write to the employer about the two situations, explaining why they were inappropriate.

Then wait and see what the response is before wondering what the next step is.

Thanks Latrade - yes, you are correct it is more an issue of possible gounds for constructive dismissal on the basis of sexuality I guess. (Can mod's edit thread title to reflect this please?)

Appreciate your advice, its a small family business and I would nearly be 100& sure there are no grieveance procedures in place. From what I understand, she would have to put her complaint in writing to the same person invloved as they are both employer, owner etc. Not impossible but perhaps awkward in a small work environment.

The accusations were all based on work related issues and the 'effect' the employer feels they have had on their own personal life and business productivity. Small rule of thumb - never work for family I guess. I know if it was a simple employee / employer situation then I personally would be advising proper legal advice! She feels obligated to do nothing and feels tied because of the family connection, even though her partner has agreed that she is well within her rights to explore further action of required.

Complicated....

I completely understand how awkward it would be. I suppose it really depends on what the individual wants from this. Do they want an apology and assurance it will never happen again? Do they want "compensation"? Or do they just want out of they whole thing?

That will really dictate what steps they take.

A letter or email to the individual is a good place to start, it can just be polite and professional outlining the comments and why they are inappropriate. In the event it does go further, the individual can demonstrate they gave the employer the opportunity to correct their behaviour (though this isn't necessary in extreme examples).

Though there are some exemptions in family businesses for employment law, that "close relative" isn't applicable here I presume ( they would need to be parent, grandparent, step-parent, son, daughter, grandson, granddaughter, stepson, stepdaughter, brother, sister, half-brother or half-sister).

Has Clare figured out should she win a constructive dismissal case what the amount would be and would that be worth the loss of a job? Legal advice from a solicitor an expert in employment law should be sought.

If she does decide to stick with the job, and in these uncertain times, it's better to not leave a job until one has secured another one, then she should avoid all social occasions with this obnoxious individual.

Some other posters might have ideas of how to put him in his place.

Thanks Bronte - I'm of a very similar opinion to be honest. I advised to let things settle, see how its handled and how it affects her work environment. No-one should have to take that kind of abuse but I suppose the grey area here is that it happened at non-work related events. Throw in a definate lack of other employment in the area and the whole family connections, well, it becomes a very complicated mess of 'Rights Vs Family Ties'.

Social occasions are off the list for the foreseeable future I would imagine! Legal advice is probably the way forward if she wishes to pursue things further - I know I would encourage it...