An 80 year old relative has a condition that is progressing and affecting their driving skills. They do not want to give up their independence. They were in a collision with a tree after swerving to avoid an oncoming bus on a straight road. No one else involved thankfully. Anyone any experience of persuading a relative to give up the car keys ?
Persuading an elderly relative to give up driving
- Thread starter Mamamia22
- Start date
@Mamamia22 I don't have experience of such directly, but maybe the person's GP could advise them on the driving and make the recommendation to stop, if you were to approach the GP directly (assuming your relative has a good relationship with their GP)?
Are there alternative ways for your relative getting out & about without the need for a car, maybe another driver / public transport / etc ?
Are there alternative ways for your relative getting out & about without the need for a car, maybe another driver / public transport / etc ?
They will need to supply a medical report when they go to renew their licence. When does it expire?. I thought over 80 had to be renewed anually.
Persuaded my late Dad to give up 10 years ago. He had one of the amnesty licences from the 50s and we told him he'd have to sit the theory test to renew. Hated lying to him but it was safer for everyone and he did give it up.
Persuaded my late Dad to give up 10 years ago. He had one of the amnesty licences from the 50s and we told him he'd have to sit the theory test to renew. Hated lying to him but it was safer for everyone and he did give it up.
SlugBreath
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My father's doctor told him that he needed to stop driving. He had an increasing number of unexplained dents and scratches on his car. When asked what happened we always got the same stock answer , "I don't know". He would drive on top of the center white line on the road. He became secretive. He drove his whole life. It gave him the freedom to be out and about. Back in the early days, after WW11, he travelled across Europe. He was becoming a danger to himself and others. He was the type of person who would respect what a doctor would say but would dismiss what his family would say.
Yes I will try the GP route. Think there is about a year left on the licence. This person is quite insistent on continuing despite recent accident. There is a very significant physical deterioration with walking now even very difficult. Persuasion is not working. Access to public transport would be nearby but with the physical problems would be challenging.
PebbleBeach2020
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have the car brought to a garage for annual service. Collect the car yourself or let on that there's repairs etc and the garage is waiting on parts etc. After a few weeks, maybe getting taxis or lifts wherever he needs to go, the need or desire for a car may wane.
Or theft. Not a good idea at all.
OP gentle persuasion is the way to go. Are there enough of you to give him lifts, run errands etc.?
Does this not indicate a fault with the driver of the bus?
Anyway, you could congratulate your relative on his ability to avoid a hazardous situation and respect his desire for independence. As they say in France "Ma voiture, c'est ma liberté". The most recent road casuality statistics from the Road Safety Authority https://www.rsa.ie/docs/default-sou...and-2018-.pdf?Status=Master&sfvrsn=8c1fa3d2_3
tell us that 10.7% of casualties are for those 65 and over. This is less than those in age groups 25 – 34; 35- 44; and 45 – 54; and is lower per 1,000 population of all age groups except for those 14 and under. So no problem there. S/he is statistically at a very low risk.
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blanketyblank
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I'm inclined to say leave him drive at least to his next renewal. That's his ability to do as he pleases / go where he pleases. There is a big difference between being feeble while walking and driving _ having been pretty unwell myself I couldn't walk very far but sitting in the car I felt fine and perfectly capable. I cant imagine being without my car!!!!
Brendan Burgess
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Hi PMU
That is a misunderstanding of statistics.
You have additional information here to assess that his risk to himself and others is much higher than average.
Brendan
Had this very same situation with my own father and was worried about him but also other drivers. We got him a driver assessment that's specific for men /women in this age group where the instructor brings them around the routes they normally take.. It put our minds to rest.. He got a positive feedback from the instructor.
PaddyBloggit
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Bring the GP into the equation. He/she is the one able to make a determination based on a physical deteriorisation.
If you're going to lie to him why not go the whole hog and get a bit of hair from the barbers, a scrap of cloth and some blood off a steak and stick it to his bumper. Then when he's at his car point to it and ask him "What happened here?"
