Paying back Debt

I would appreciate some advice. I was self employed and got into financial trouble. I came to agreement with the bank in the short term and was making a monthly repayment but when the time was up they said they wanted to to pay in full. We agreed a lump sum (40,000) to clear the debt and they gave me three months to get it. It has caused real hardship but I was more than half way to having the money. We had a problem in our family and the money had to be spent on that, I would rather not go into details but there was no choice.

Now the time is up and I cannot face having to back to the bank. I want to pay this debt. A close family member is getting his first mortage and says he would help me by borrowing some of the money from the credit union. Can he do this?

I have always talked straight to the bank myself maybe it would be better to pay an financial advisor to take it on from here?
Any advice you can offer I would appreciate it, I cannot move on until this is paid.

Have you contacted MABS (www.mabs.ie) for free and confidential advice? They will negotiate with the bank on your behalf if you don't feel you can do it-best of luck.

Thanks for the reply Ccovich. No I have never contacted MABS I have tried to handle it alone. If they are a confidential service I would be interested, I feel very ashamed of this whole situation.

Lilybee - You should not feel ashamed at your situation. So many people hit hard times financially throughout their lives. Your main concern should be to sort the whole lot out and then forget about it and start fresh. Life is far too short to feel ashamed about money or anything money related because when it comes down to it money isnt what is important it is your family who matter so just concentrate on sorting your problem out and then put it behind you.

Im sorry i can't offer advice on how to actually sort things out as MABS would be the only solution i would know of and this has already been suggested.

Best of luck with sorting it all out - and keep your chin up - it could happen to anyone.

do not be ashamed to be broke - life hits us all with bad luck sometimes. You want to pay this back adn thats the bottom line so go to MABS and the bank and tell them that and go from there.
Some of the most honorable folks I know don't have 2 bob to rub together!

Thank you all for the help and words of support it has really helped. I contacted MAB's they are very busy but I have an appointment for next week.

The fact that they're busy should tell you that you are not alone in your troubles!

Thank you all again for the replies. MABS rescheduled me twice, I am supposed to see them thursday this week. I am getting letters form the bank and I do not want to talk to them until I talk to MABs but if I ignore them they are sure to think I was never intending to pay them back in the first place.
This is a nightmare.

Drop them a note advising you have made an appointment with MABS and will contact them shortly once you have had a chance to discuss your budget and needs with MABS. Ask them to put matters on hold for a further few weeks and thank them for their patience.