Partner moving in, contribution query

vandriver said:

I think he can afford it!

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LOL I missed that. Wow, she has a house and is so responsible and he earns a heck of a lot more than her and offered to 'buy some food' in return for free bed and board. Though if he's under 30 there is generally some hope with men in getting them to untie the apron strings and grow up. I have a cousin and my OH a nephew back in with mom in their forties.

Bronte said:

Though if he's under 30 there is generally some hope with men in getting them to untie the apron strings and grow up. I have a cousin and my OH a nephew back in with mom in their forties.

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My wife wouldn't agree with that! It's all our Mammy's fault. They looked after us so well that we expect the same when we move on to another partner! Took me about 20 odd years to shake off the cosseted childhood and realize that I might be expected to do some occasional cooking and housework

Its amazing how much of this sort of stuff you see: it speaks volumes for his attitude to the OP.

I stumbled back on my post today after first writing it. I am amused at the comments and it puts me back into perspective as to where I stand going forward.

Just for an insight and it might make people laugh a bit louder....
I am on just over 40k , my partner is on around 50k
He is over 40, divorced, no kids and back in his mothers 2 years
He has a house which is being re-posessed but the banks have not got around to doing that yet, so he is pocketing the 1200 a month rent with no chance of the banks receiving it.
He has >10k in the bank while I strive hard to pay my bills and keep my place afloat.



When I went through the conversation with him one comment was "sure I can stay with you 5 nights a week and 2 nights in my mam's and not move in and it wont cost me anything".

So I was put into my place fairly fast

Other than the moving in issue , he is very good to me and not mean at all, so I was a bit knocked by his comments.

So I know what fence I will be sitting on sooner or later !!!

He should hand over all his wages to you and you just give him an allowance.

When I went through the conversation with him one comment was "sure I can stay with you 5 nights a week and 2 nights in my mam's and not move in and it wont cost me anything".

So I was put into my place fairly fast

Other than the moving in issue , he is very good to me and not mean at all, so I was a bit knocked by his comments.


Mrs.Setanta sometimes says I can be cutting with my comments but she knows me/lives with me etc but I was taken aback by that comment of your guy. Recently someone was saying you need to live with someone for three years before truly knowing them - 5 nights a week isn't living with them. I fear his comment was a 'strikes to character, m'lud!', showing his spots type comment. (Very easy to be good in the early days/months/years of a relationship)

Kick him to the curb immediately. You won't change him, if he's starting with that attitude there is really no hope. Just because he's "not mean" to you doesn't mean you should accept that, you deserve better (everyone does).