I
Irishgirl
Guest
I have been recieving O.P.F.P for about 4 years now...
I know who the father is but I told SW I didnt know because at the time I was worried they would contact him for maintenance and I thought if he paid maintenance then he'd have custody & rights to the child...
(we ended our relationship just before I found out I was pregnant & it ended very badly so i didnt tell him I was pregnant...also his job takes him away to other countries for a long time every year or two, all this made me panic and I told the OPFP officer who came to assess me after my child was born that I didnt know who the father was).
The SW officer told me he found that hard to believe and I told him if he didnt believe me that was ok, but that was my story & theres nothing I can do about it.
I didnt think I'd get OPFP after this assessment but a few weeks later it came through and I have been on it ever since.
I didnt think much about my childs father for the first year, because I heard he was gone overseas for his work and would be away for several months and thought how glad I was that he wasnt in our lives.
Then when my child was a year old my little sister passed away and I spent two years suffering from depression...so doing the right thing and contacting the father of my child was put out of my mind...
I am glad to say I am trying to get on with my life now after this tragedy, and this is the reason I am on here...
...the father contacted me a few months ago saying he heard I had had a child after we split up and asked was it his...I said 'no' and hung up....
he is away overseas again at the moment and I cant stop thinking about having to do the right thing by my child and him and introduce them to each other...my child is four now and I am fully aware that it would be beneficial to my child to have him around...I was young and stupid in thinking when I had a baby that he would never be needed...
But I also cant stop worrying that I have committed fraud by saying I didnt know who the father was in the first place and therefore not recieving any maintenance from him...I am stuck as in how to approach this with SW...If I get kicked off OPFP then so be it, I will face the consequences of my actions, but is there prosecution?
I dont want to be judged by anyone here by the way, I have my reasons for doing things this way at the time, so please dont give me any negative comments towards my situation, I am looking for a way to fix this and do the right thing.
I know who the father is but I told SW I didnt know because at the time I was worried they would contact him for maintenance and I thought if he paid maintenance then he'd have custody & rights to the child...
(we ended our relationship just before I found out I was pregnant & it ended very badly so i didnt tell him I was pregnant...also his job takes him away to other countries for a long time every year or two, all this made me panic and I told the OPFP officer who came to assess me after my child was born that I didnt know who the father was).
The SW officer told me he found that hard to believe and I told him if he didnt believe me that was ok, but that was my story & theres nothing I can do about it.
I didnt think I'd get OPFP after this assessment but a few weeks later it came through and I have been on it ever since.
I didnt think much about my childs father for the first year, because I heard he was gone overseas for his work and would be away for several months and thought how glad I was that he wasnt in our lives.
Then when my child was a year old my little sister passed away and I spent two years suffering from depression...so doing the right thing and contacting the father of my child was put out of my mind...
I am glad to say I am trying to get on with my life now after this tragedy, and this is the reason I am on here...
...the father contacted me a few months ago saying he heard I had had a child after we split up and asked was it his...I said 'no' and hung up....
he is away overseas again at the moment and I cant stop thinking about having to do the right thing by my child and him and introduce them to each other...my child is four now and I am fully aware that it would be beneficial to my child to have him around...I was young and stupid in thinking when I had a baby that he would never be needed...
But I also cant stop worrying that I have committed fraud by saying I didnt know who the father was in the first place and therefore not recieving any maintenance from him...I am stuck as in how to approach this with SW...If I get kicked off OPFP then so be it, I will face the consequences of my actions, but is there prosecution?
I dont want to be judged by anyone here by the way, I have my reasons for doing things this way at the time, so please dont give me any negative comments towards my situation, I am looking for a way to fix this and do the right thing.