I've asked in a few mobil-phone shops for a mobile with BIG letters that just makes and receives calls and texts. nothing else except maybe an-easy-to-read-clock/timer.
No music,camera, internet etc.
something for dozey old people at home who may need to make urgent phone calls without getting confused.
The spotty kids behind the counter with earrings through their noses look at me like I'm mad (as I shuffle out of the shop in my slippers.).
Next time you're in the shop, glare at an assistant until they ask you what you want and then roar at them: "THERE'S NO NEED TO SHOUT, YOU KNOW, I'M NOT DEAF!!!"