Nursing Home Problem

Eurofan

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I'm getting kind of stonewalled by the matron of the nursing home where my mother stays and would appreciate any guidance on who to contact about the following.

The home itself is fine, it used to be run by the nuns but seems to half filled by elderly nuns itself now. The matron herself however is of that order and has a somewhat old fashioned way of doing things.

Unfortunately she and my mother don't get on. My mother suffers from, amongst other things, early parkinsons and alzheimer's. The matrons attitude tends towards the confrontational about a variety of small issues which has left my mother very upset on a number of occasions. To be frank she's treated like a child by her. Now mum has a tendancy to get confused in addition to this which makes sorting out what happened difficult sometimes.

Ultimately the matron just doesn't appear able to cope and i'd like to go over her head but am getting stonewalled by her on this (it's 'her' nursing home). I've worked myself in similar situations and it seems to be the matron is incapable of understanding how the patient/carer relationship works in these scenarios, either through apathy or lack of training i don't know.

The last straw was last night when my Aunt phoned me quite upset because she'd phoned my Mum for a chat on the nursing home's phone and while mum was giving out about the matron she came on the line and gave out hell about the 'lies' that were being told..., she'd clearly been listening in on a private conversation. I confronted her about this and got every excuse under the sun but ultimately it's about my mother not being 'grateful enough' for the care she receives.

I'd rather not move her since i've tried that earlier this year and she's settled where she is. Any guidance on who i could contact would be appreciated..
 
RainyDay said:
Who owns the home?

Difficult to find out the best so far is it's 'her' nursing home(the matrons). I'm trying to go via the parish as i suspect they technically still own it but the staff in the nursing home are so afraid of her they won't discuss the issue with me at all.

Who is footing the bill?

We are, she's a private patient but most of the beds are Eastern Health Board somehow.
 
Who do you make payments to? Do you have any invoices or other documentation with a company registration number? Have you started making contingency plans to move to another home?
 
I am not sure it matters who pays for the service. The issue appears to be one of the family feeling comfortable with the level of understanding and care for their mothers condition. I too would be uncomfortable if a matron of a nursing home found difficult to deal with people with a form of dementia (which would be very prevalant in nursing homes).
Perhaps a family meeting with the matron addressing your concerns and allowing the matron her say. If this still does not resolve the issues, maybe you should contact a medical social worker who has a knowledge of nursing home placements to arrange alternative care.
 
I doubt if the "parish" owns the nursing home. Is it possible that it is owned by the religious order of which the matron is a member. Many private nursing homes have subvention beds. Perhaps you could have a word with the chaplain. Many chaplains these days are expected to have some pastoral care training to help with spiritual and temporal needs. It might be helpful to you to have someone "on the ground" who is a regular visitor to the home, and who is "well got" there.(not family members they can appear to be biased). Tell of your concerns, but be slow initially to apportion blame - it won't help your concerns if you do. See if the chaplain/pastoral care worker is willing to help. No doubt it's a worrying time for you.

Justsally
 
Hi, I'd ring An Bord Altranais (the Irish nursing board) if I were you. Ultimately all senior nurse managers are answerable to this organisation for their practice. They might be able to give you the best professional advice as to taking further action with this matron/nun bat.
 
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