nursery rhymes- By The DiceMan

Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her Thighs
Mary had another skirt
twas split right up the front
...but she didn't wear that one very often



Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
Pies, you dickhead.


Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
said "F*** him, He's only an egg.


Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's ass
and turned it's wool to nylon



Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.



Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill

And now there's little Franky.

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own.



Little Boy Blew.
Hey. He needed the money.

Who is the DiceMan in this context? Not Dublin's own (via Scotland) late, lamented by any chance?

No...
This is the world famous Andrew Dice Clay from Brooklyn....

Mary had a little lamb,
A little pork, a little ham,
A slice of veal,
Apiece of steak.
Then Mary had a tummy ache.

Mary had a little lamb.
She also had a duck.
She put them on the mantle shelf
To see if they would fall off.

Mary had a little lamb
Her father killed it dead
And now it goes to school with her
Between two chunks of bread.

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Her knickers all tattered and torn
It was'nt the spider that sat down beside her
It was Little Boy Blue with his horn.

Mary had a little lamb
He was full of tricks and frolicks
One day he jumped a barbed wire fence
And tore his little jumper.

Mary had a little lamb,
Her mother had a fit!

Old MacDonald had a farm
The Doctor was surprised
But when Mary had a little lamb
The Doctor nearly died!

this is not fair. I have a Diceman video and the rhymes are much ruder than that. But I guess I can't put them down here..!

of course you can....

Many have tried............!!