This sounds like it'll almost certainly need planning permission.
First thing I'd say is that he's done you the courtesy of consulting you before putting in an application, so it'd be as well to keep things as polite as possible. Always keep in mind that you have to live next to this person whatever the outcome of what happens.
If it were me, I'd say to him that although you can understand his need for more space (or whatever), the design he's proposing would block your light and cast a shadow over your garden. If he backs down, well and good. If he makes it clear he's proceeding, then make it clear that you'll be submitting an observation to the planning application and that you think it's best if an independent body (the council) decides.
Blocking light (overshadowing) is a valid objection, so you'd have a strong case.
As for separation there's minimum seperations between structures OK, but not between a structure and a boundary (semi-d's for example). He'll need your permission if he needs access to your property to build the extension, so keep that in mind (though think very carefully before refusing such permission, as that'll guarentee bad feelings between you).
Although people will quote "45-degree" rules in relation to overshadowing, as far as I've been able to find out, there's no such rule as applied to planning applications.