neighbours keep parking so close or in front of our entrance gate cant get out.

[Flower]

Hi, I was just wondering if someone could give me some advice.

Our next door neighbours keep parking so close or in front of our entrance gate that we couldn't get our car in or out.

So after about ten to fifteen times of asking them to move there car, explaining to them nicely, and my husband getting in the car himself, with permission of the mother. (Its the daughter car, neither parents can drive). This night I'm back from tesco its late evening, my three kids are in the car, ages 1,2, 4 and all the food shopping I can't get in. I was embarrassed to call in again. So I parked on the road and brought everything in and call the police. THey came spoke to them and now they park in their driveway, yes they have a driveway.

Well a few days later I'm going to the school and the mother calls me a b%%ch, which I lost it and we get into a screaming match. I called her a knacker. This seemed to bother her the most. Then I'm coming home from the run and the husband starts on me. Then Halloween mother and sister start calling me a knacker. Now tonight a mom from the school used her driveway to turn wait like three inches on her property and sent her son in to get my daughter for a party, next thing mother is out scream it all kicks off again, this mom my friend was seriously freaked so was I to be honest.

What do I do? We tried the whole ignoring thing, but it didn't seem to matter.

Anyway thank you for reading.

I lost my mobile and didn't have anyone to say it to, i've been crying for an hour now.

Flower

 

[so-crates]

Re: Problems with Neighbour

You sound like you need hubby to come home and give you a great big hug. It's okay to cry, it helps you calm down and clears your head, even if it isn't fun at the time.

The whole thing is a problem though and ignoring as you have noticed doesn't make it go away. It might be hard to do but maybe it would be worth it to apologise for shouting at her. It may seem humiliating but maybe it will clear the air and help your neighbours remember their manners. Also it might be worth saying you regretted having to call the gardaí over the parking but (and talk to the mother I would suggest appealling to her maternal experience) it is incredibly difficult to manage three small kids on the roadway and you were very distressed by it. The apology might soften her up a bit and make her more magnanimous in her response to your issue with her daughter's behaviour. If this is too much maybe see if you can get another neighbour to help you mediate the dispute someone you feel can help you get across to her what her behaviour is doing to you all.

 

[Flower]

Re: Problems with Neighbour

Thank you for that socrates. Very good advice but I can honestly say I am intimidated by her and based on the numerous times I had spoken to her, she did not get the idea of access to our driveway. It was all very strange. Also in our cul-da-sac no one bar one lady speaks to her. All I get from the others in 'how do I live next to her'.

Well I did go to the police tonight and they are going to give her a behaviorual warning which seems to be the first step in the ASBO process. The policeman made me feel alot better. She is not suppose to pass comment to my vistors and that she is a bully. So we see how it goes. As I said to the policeofficer, all I want is to be able to use my driveway and that she never speaks to me, my family or anyone visiting us in a threating way. Thanks again.

 

[floydmuppet]

Hi Flower, Im sorry to hear of your prediciment ,it must be awfull to live beside such a person and I think I kind of know the type of person you are dealing with.The only way you can now deal with this is by documenting any other outbursts of intimidation or any such matters you recieve from this person(buy a video camara if you have to) and refuse to take that kind of abuse.she sound like a real bute.

 

[mercman]

There has to be an easy way to sort this out. The two families have to live there and if you could get somebody to act as a middleman which could help the situation and you could all get on happily with your lives.

 

[S.L.F]

There has to be an easy way to sort this out. The two families have to live there and if you could get somebody to act as a middleman which could help the situation and you could all get on happily with your lives.

Bullys strive to make someones elses life horrible, they don`t understand mediation, they don`t understand fairs fair. mercman seem like reasonable man what you say makes perfect sense to me but not everybody in this world is reasonable like you and me.

The woman who lives beside me is an awful bully, she bullies the kids who call to my son, my wife, people who call to the house, anyway my wife called me one day in tears and that was the last straw for me I called in and only et her, left her under no uncertain terms what would happen if it happened again. I`ve had no trouble since.

To the OP I suggest you stick to your guns regarding the police and regarding CCTV I got one recently in woodies for E80, it plugs straight into a video.

 

[S.L.F]

Re: Problems with Neighbour

You sound like you need hubby to come home and give you a great big hug. It's okay to cry, it helps you calm down and clears your head, even if it isn't fun at the time.

The whole thing is a problem though and ignoring as you have noticed doesn't make it go away. It might be hard to do but maybe it would be worth it to apologise for shouting at her. It may seem humiliating but maybe it will clear the air and help your neighbours remember their manners. Also it might be worth saying you regretted having to call the gardaí over the parking but (and talk to the mother I would suggest appealling to her maternal experience) it is incredibly difficult to manage three small kids on the roadway and you were very distressed by it. The apology might soften her up a bit and make her more magnanimous in her response to your issue with her daughter's behaviour. If this is too much maybe see if you can get another neighbour to help you mediate the dispute someone you feel can help you get across to her what her behaviour is doing to you all.

I`ve been bullied in the past it`s not very nice, when I see So-crates suggest Flower apologise for calling the police it just makes my blood boil. The neighbour blocked the drive way twice, how many times does someone need to be told. Calling the police was the right thing to do.

You don`t lie down before a bully.

 

[triplex]

Flower,

you've been a saint! start making a note of each episode - date, time, what was said/done etc, also, when she gets particulary nasty, have your mobile in your hand and tell her you are calling the police and do so while she is watching you..

You can do all this calmly and politely.... she, unfortunately, is just thick, so she ain't ever gonna change...

i do know how intimidating it can be tho, but it won't last...

 

[Thrifty]

I think Mercman's suggestion is really the best here. Unless you or she are planning to move away you are going to be living next to this woman for a long time. A small argument can get way out of hand and cause you both a lot of misery for years - probably be very hard for her parents too to have to put up with everything. I really suggest you try and approach her or get a middle person -remember how ever hard it is now its going to be alot worst if you have a war going on between you for years.

 

[Guest120]

you've been a saint!

You can do all this calmly and politely.

The OP has already been involved in a brawling match in public, calling the other part a knacker.

I would imagine she's not in control of her emotions enough to be calm and polite at this stage.

In my opinion calling in the cops on such a trivial matter seems strange, it has me thinking are there are other underlying issues between the two parties. It would have been simpler for the OP to park her car over their drive, the message would have quickly been understood.

 

[rory22]

Hi Flower,

Sorry to here about your dispute, this type of dispute will not cure itself and may infact fester and worsen. My advice, for what its worth, is to write a letter. You have already got your point of view across very well in this post so I think by writing things down it may give your thoughts more clarity. I think it would also be a good idea to meet them half way and start the letter with an apology for your part i.e. name calling and then go on to describe what drove you to that point which to me is quite understandable. I think this may give them an 'out' to stop hostilities, and to be honest if they throw it back in your face then there is not much that will heal the rift. Good luck.

 

[gillarosa]

I agree with Rory. Both parties have been at fault and any actions that will further antagonise your neighbours won't help at all you may end up so stressed that you feel your only option is to move. Its hard to be the big person and hold the white flag up first, but it may be the only thing that will help?