Neighbour Problems...

Apologies in advance for the long post.... Mods I wasn't quite sure if this was the right place to put it, so please feel free to move if it's not...

Anyone have any ideas on how to deal with the following scenario?

My hubby and I spent a number of months renovating an old house. This, naturally caused some problems with the neighbours as there were noise issues. We kept to the hours of work on the planning (0730-1800hrs Mon-Fri & 0800-1300 on Sat) on all occasions except for three times, twice when there was plastering being done and they couldn't stop mid way through and once on a Sunday when we had a gas leak and we had to call the plumber around.

We moved in approximately 2 months ago, and all has been quiet. We have spoken to the neighbours on one side, and they seem happy that we are quiet and normal, and that there is no longer any construction noise. They even called over with a bottle of wine, which was a lovely gesture and very welcome.

Over the last few weeks I've noticed that bread has been thrown over the (other side) neighbours wall into our yard and onto our flat roof. When I've seen it I've swept it up and thrown it back over the wall. I'm not a fan of pigeons, I consider them vermin, although I have no problem with the neighbour feeding them on her own property if that's what she wants to do. I'm also worried about the bread attracting rats, as I live in an urban area and I'm sure there are rats everywhere, so I don't want to encourage them.

This evening I noticed more bread thrown on the roof so I got out to sweep it up and spotted the neighbour in the upstairs bedroom, looking out with the window open - I suspected she had just finished throwing out the bread as it hadn't been there thirty minutes earlier. I asked her if she would mind feeding the birds on her own property, to which she replied "the birds were there before you came along" and then went on to rant about the 9 months (it was 7 actually, but I didn't want to go splitting hairs) of work on the house.

I apologised and said that I understood it must have been difficult, but at the same time we needed to get the work done. She continued to rant at me and told me that if she wanted to feed the birds she would and if some of her bread "fell" onto the roof (which could only be reached from an upstairs window), then what could she do? And yes, there are plenty of rats around here but not to worry about it as we won't be around here much longer (I'm not sure if this was supposed to be a veiled threat).

There was no more talking to her and she shut the window and went off. But I'm not really sure how to deal with the situation now. Her main aim is obviously to annoy us, and now that she realises it's working she might step up her game. I don't want to get into a conflict or a tit-for-tat situation.

Is there anyway you can deter birds from your property, short of using a scarecrow?! Perhaps something they don't like the smell or sound of?

Cheers for any suggestions, I don't think the option of talking to her will work, which I would consider under normal circumstances. If she is still this annoyed 10 weeks after work is finished, I think it will take another while for her to calm down.

Pia Bang

You may find something useful in this previous thread.

Have you considered getting a cat? Have you seen any evidence of rats?

0800-1300 on Sat

Click to expand...

Off topic, but speaking from experience, I don't consider noise at 8:00 on a Saturday morning reasonable, especially if it went on 7 months.

Thanks for that post..

rmelly, I realise that it wasn't ideal for the neighbours, but in our defence we didn't work every Saturday, I would say roughly about 50%, which I would agree is still a lot if you are living next door to it. Sometimes we simply had no choice depending on what trades were available. Those were the hours specified on the planning. Plus I think both sets of neighbours don't do 9-5 Mon-Fri type jobs, which probably added to their frustration.

In addition, both my hubby and I left our phone numbers with both sets of neighbours and I didn't get one call from the side feeding the birds. I got a couple of calls from the other side and did what I could to sort out whatever the particular problem was at the time, which I feel they appreciated. We also called to both sides in advance of starting work to let them know what was going on and the bird feeding side didn't answer.

I suppose the point that I am making is that we are not unreasonable people.

I am reading up about pigeons on the web now and getting a little more concerned about the damage they can do....

I didn't consider a cat, it may be an option.

rmelly said:

Have you seen any evidence of rats?

Click to expand...

Sorry I forgot to answer this bit - I haven't seen any evidence of rats but as I said I don't want to encourage them and I do feel that leaving food out will encourage them.

Wasn't having a go, I was just suggesting you may have underestimated the impact it had on this woman.

understood

It is pretty clear to me this woman is just trying to get up your nose.

She sounds to me like she is a bully.

Ignore her totally.
If she continues to throw rubbish onto your property call the Garda Siochana.

Nobody has the right to litter someone else's property.

Hi,

Sounds like a tricky situation to be in. If it were me, I'd forget about the bird issue for now and try to build bridges with the disgruntled neighbour. You've spent a long time doing up your house and are probably planning to remain there for the forseeable future. Now it might be that this woman should have handled the situation better but it could be in your best interests to rise above it.

Could you pop around with a nice bouquet and offer another apology saying you didn't realise how badly she was affected. Give her the chance to offload - if she hadn't said anything till now, she has probably been nursing this grudge all along with the bad feeling towards you intensifying. Sometimes when someone has the chance to put their case across they feel better. See if there's anything you can do now to set her mind at rest. This might be through gritted teeth on your part but it might make life easier in the long run.

She knows how you feel about the bread so hopefully she will stop if she warms towards you a little. In the meantime I'd just pick it up and bin it.

Of course, I don't know what your neighbour is like and you have to trust your own judgement but that's what I'd do.

Good luck - it doesn't sound easy!

I agree, there's a lot to be said for just letting someone have their tantrum attack and letting them run out of steam themselves. Give her a chance to have a go at you properly, take it without being defensive or arguing, and see if everything settles down.

Neighbour sounds like a bat. When builders build they make noise. I would pass no apologies for it. If she was throwing bread on my roof the last thing I would do is offer her a bouquet, I would call around and tell her actions are unacceptable and inform her there will be consequences if they continue. She sounds like a petty bully and any money says she folds if you take a hard line with her. You don't have to be friends with all your neighbours. Stand up for yourself. Best of luck.

I too got building wotk done to a house prior to moving in. I went to see the neighbours before the work started and showed them our plans. Both sides seemed nice. I gave them my mobile number.... big mistake on one side. They began ringing almost immediately compalianing about the noise. We had planning for same hours as you but our builders didn't worjk Saturdays so it was Mon - Friday only - and the builders took a half day friday. They complained they worked nights and couldn't sleep duiring the day when our building work was ongoing. I tried to accomodate them and the builder agreed to only be on site at 8am and leave off the noisy work for an hour or two where possible. Still the phone calls came. One week I got a string of texts telling me they'd begun early - the texts were all between 7.55 and 8.05 so they hadn't done so by more than 5-10 mins (which was allowed by our planning). The wife rang me at 10 one morning and screamed into the phone that she couldn't sleep and she was having a nervous breakdown (which I could well believe given the way she spoke!) For months I tried to placate them but they were totally unreasonable so in the end I just gave up.
They used even park their cars blocking our house so the builders trucks wouldn't be able to make deliveries.

The neighbours on the other side had some problems - with the construction not the builders. We worked with them and resolved the problems. They talk to us - the others don't.

Funnily enough this is a senario I've heard repeated by a lot of people who have had building work done to their homes.

She sounds like an arrogant bag. you could always video tape her throwing the stuff on your roof and threaten her with a socicitors letter. You need tobuild up clear evidence that she is being a nucience. Maybe keep a journal of her behaviour. Because quite frNKLY she sounds likea complete nutter.

Thanks for all the replies, I have heard similar stories as well. There has been no further action on her part since yesterday evening, although maybe she has just run out of bread! Maybe she will continue to do it when we are out at work, which is why I would rather get some pigeon deterrents.

I think for the moment I will just leave things and see what happens. I will probably check out pigeon deterrents, as perhaps she won't like pigeons on her own property if they can't land on ours.

FredBloggs, we also tried to be accommodating where possible for e.g. when tiling getting tiles cut off site so noise was reduced to a minimum. I guess being the 'nice guy' doesn't always work out well.

I didn't get the sarcasm last night, but when I told my hubby what she had said, he thought the 'rats' she was referring to was probably us! I think I will also keep a diary if there are further incidents. I hope that she will get bored of it before too long. Maybe she sees us as jumped-up 'blow-ins' who have more money than sense and we don't have a right to live in this old part of town. But we have worked hard to buy this house and get the work done on it and now I just want to be able to enjoy it.

What a horrible old hag you have for a neighbour, how dare she. For the last two years we have had to put up with construction work all around where we live and we never once complaint. Maybe that old hag was after this particular property herself and she couldn't afford it so she resents you for buying it.

She's not going to change no matter how nice you are to her. Oh God, what a miserable life she must have.

Pia Bang said:

FredBloggs, we also tried to be accommodating where possible for e.g. when tiling getting tiles cut off site so noise was reduced to a minimum. I guess being the 'nice guy' doesn't always work out well.

Click to expand...

Yes, in my case I often thought if I had completely ignored their sensibilities from day one, not shown them the plans, not given my mobile number, not got the builder to start later etc that I'd have been better off. Certainly wouldn't have been worse off!

Hi,

Maybe I can give you a view from being the neighbour who listened and put up with a build of a year and also being the person building and see if it helps..

My neighbours came to me with their plans and basicaly told me they were building an extension,they wanted to come up to the boundry wall,yep no problem with that. They moved out, the builders moved in and it all began for 12 months,it was a complete demolition, it was extremly stressfull for us,as we are semi detached. We had builders from 7.45 till 5.30 mon to fri and half day sat for a year. It was consistent banging knocking drilling ,noise radio blaring,no privacy,dust dirt and just desperatly hard to live through.

My neighbours did the old " if you have any problems let us know " sceniaro, (but ignored the few calls we did make, having put up with blocked driveways,glass and debris on the road and tyre puntures,)they usually replied with a sarcastic text. Needless to say they were great before this happened but they have shown themselves in their true colours and I have little respect for the lack of consideration they shown While im aware that a lot of the noise etc couldnt be helped ,when they did get a chance to do someting for us,they didnt. I just dont like them now,and Yes they have a fantastic house but at what cost? One of the reasons they decided to build rather than move was the neighbours inc us were so good,and look where it got us.

Bear in mind they moved out so were oblivious to all the noise but also bear in mind that they were informed how stresfull it was and when we did go to ask them to ask the builders to stop at 7 in the evening they got ratty. But it is their loss at the end of the day and relations will never be the same again.

Now when I build ,having been through the above ,im hyper sensitive about the neighbours,obviously there will be noise etc, but im staying here during it and can make sure they are no radios blaring,glass ,debris on the road that the builders finish when they should and if the neighbours have a problem i have told them to come into me, and i mean it, i also call into them or if they are on the street i go over to them and ask them if there is any issues etc.so things are much better this way.

To sum up, if you are building ,your neighbours should come first,no matter how big ,nice your house ends up,it is useless without good relations with you neighbours and not worth it.

What I think you should do,is have some sense of what that women went through.sympatise and show you care. You got your house built but they had to go through the pain. I would at the very least tell her it must have been a right pain for her and as a gesture treat her to a weekend away,which maybe you should have done during the build rather than moving in,and ignoring the fact that people lived through it and it would have been more sincere. You have no idea of the stress of the noise that a build has on people. Have a bit of concern and consideration for those who lived through it and maybe then you wouldnt be seen as not giving a damm about them,apart from giving them your mobile number. You say the builders went over their time on a few occaisions,which may be very little to you,but when you have to live through it 5 and a half days a week belive me every extra minute is very very difficult.Thats my view from both sides and hopefully you will get to see what she went through someday and will understand.hope its of some help that you will see how upsetting and annoying it is for the other person and I understand when you're not there it is difficult to really know.

Best of luck.

Interesting senario there. But is does not excuse the woman in question acting like a a complete nuisance regarding dropping bread on the womans roof and then completly ignoring her reasonable request to stop.

television said:

and then completly ignoring her reasonable request to stop.

Click to expand...

Latest comment from OP:

There has been no further action on her part since yesterday evening, although maybe she has just run out of bread!

Click to expand...