Neighbour Problem
- Thread starter Leesider32
- Start date
The first thing that it is needed is a first-hand, objective assessment by a disinterested, suitably qualified 3rd-party. We only have one side of the story here, and, with all due respects to the OP, maybe there is a degree of exaggeration to the version of the story we are hearing. Therefore we have a subjective view and maybe, for all we know, both parties need assessing.
I worry when we jump to remote, unobserved, subjective diagnoses in forums such as these. It is unprofessional and I don't believe it has any place in a consumer forum.
Pinkpanter
Registered User
- Messages
- 78
Naturally a third party, suitably qualified professional.
I wasn’t suggesting you go around and do it!!
Mathepac.
Why? You have already diagnosed her as psychotic with paranoid tendencies based on a post by someone you don't know about someone you don't know about an argument you don't know anything about...…..And you are a psychiatric nurse so that's good enough for me.....
Leesider32
Registered User
- Messages
- 184
Of course this is the ideal but how do you go about getting some agency or whatever to do this?? If they want to assess me and my wife absolutely no problem there either. I want mediation, a solution but all of my efforts to go down this avenue have come to nothing.
I mentioned earlier that I would go down the civil case avenue and my thinking there is that this would actually force the mother to engage properly.
Am I missing something here? Just leave her knock and get on with your life - it sounds like you're already up at this stage so just ignore it.
If you do any of the suggested steps, your main complaint is that she hears you in the morning and then bangs on the wall. She could have just a valid noise complaint against you as you do against her? When you look at it as a 3rd party, it would seem that you are causing the initial noise, which results in her making noise herself. I know this not may be the actual situation but that's what it will seem to a 3rd party.
Hi Josh,
1. Someday, I'll advise on how I came up with the pseudonym "Leper" - a story I'll eventually include in my unworthwhile autobiography.
2. Since I retired, I spend much time in the south of Spain (25 degrees yesterday) and while there, I read more and I post here less. But, I have returned early to attend a funeral.
3. Thanks for the heads-up on the post.
No you can't. It's no wonder our health service is creaking at the seams if the advice is that any Tom, Dick or Harry can ring up a public health nurse and tell them that their neighbour has mental health problems. Lets get real here folks. Deal with the noise issue. Leave mental health and advice for people on how to deal with it out of it.
Leesider32 is entitled to his opinion on anything. Forums such as this are for people to share their opinions and/or whatever experiences happened to them. Subjects such as this are important to people looking in because who knows that you could be the subject of an unwelcome situation caused by a stupid neighbour.
Perhaps I am naive, but how do you get a "first-hand, objjective assessment by a disinterested, suitably qualified 3rd-party" - Leeside32 shared his situation with us. He needn't of course, but I reiterate he has every right to post here.
"I worry when we jump to remote, unobserved, subjective diagnoses in forums such as these. It is unprofessional and I don't believe it has any place in a consumer forum." You're wrong
And of course I wasn't referring to the OP's request for help or input, but to the self-identified psychiatric nurse who diagnosed the OP's neighbour " as psychotic with paranoid tendencies ".
I have no idea how to help the OP other than by offering my earlier suggestion.
Do you believe I'm wrong to worry about a non-medic offering a remote, un-supported diagnosis or that's it's wrong to do it in a consumer forum?
Or wrong to disagree with your opinion?
I have no idea how to help the OP other than by offering my earlier suggestion.
Do you believe I'm wrong to worry about a non-medic offering a remote, un-supported diagnosis or that's it's wrong to do it in a consumer forum?
Or wrong to disagree with your opinion?
Last edited:
You're entitled to your opinion too.
Leesider32
Registered User
- Messages
- 184
This has gotten worse since the lockdown as all her attention now seems to be on pissing us off as she has nothing better to do. Knocking on our wall in the morning would not be a problem if it was just in the morning when we got up. The problem is she deliberately knocks on our wall during the night so as to wake us up, this is not coincidental noise like loud music (although she does that throughout the day when it suits her), a door slamming or a vacuum cleaner. This is a deliberate action with the sole purpose of interrupting our sleep. She did this last night at 3:30am, 4:30am and 5am, so we were awake from 3:30am until we got to sleep again at 5:30am. I have all of this recorded and yes this happens nearly every night. And in these times we are supposed to be getting enough sleep to keep our immune systems functioning well!!!
So the above gives an idea of what is happening at present. I was onto citizens information yesterday and they said I could look for an adult ASBO against her which is under Part 11 of the Criminal Justice Act 2006 and states that:
Anti-social behaviour occurs where a person causes or, in the circumstances is likely to cause, to one or more persons who are not of the same household as the person:
- Harassment or
- Significant or persistent alarm, distress, fear or intimidation or
- Significant or persistent impairment of their use or enjoyment of their property.
Would you ask a solicitor to write a letter for you to her, saying you want to repair neighbour relations but if it continues the options are as you have outlined? It seems like you are going through hell in fairness.
Alternatively tell her that you have invested in wonderful expensive sound cancelling earphones and so are getting perfectly good night sleep, if she is cracked enough as you say she might desists then. However, who knows what she’d start up then!
Alternatively tell her that you have invested in wonderful expensive sound cancelling earphones and so are getting perfectly good night sleep, if she is cracked enough as you say she might desists then. However, who knows what she’d start up then!
some good advice here from FLAAC which may help
what do the other neighbours think of this person?
what do the other neighbours think of this person?
Leesider32
Registered User
- Messages
- 184
This all started over a year ago, she was always playing her radio very loud so I tried to talk to her but she would never answer the door so once she was coming in home while I was and I said 'hey how are you' and got totally ignored. Then she started banging on the wall!!
I tried the friendly letter, didn't do anything, went to talk to her mother as she is half owner of the house, didn't do anything, sent a solicitor's letter and it stopped for 8 months. While all of this was going on last year I was in contact with the gardai and yes she has a history.
All of the neighbours are aware there are issues as a garda car called to her house twice last summer which was nothing to do with us (actually a neighbour let us know it happened). And there was another issue which I won't go into not related to us and also a couple of things related to us I am leaving out.........none of could come to criminal charges but could have if they continued.
So what are my options? What would you do if you were in my shoes? I have followed all steps so I think I best option is to go ASBO!!
I tried the friendly letter, didn't do anything, went to talk to her mother as she is half owner of the house, didn't do anything, sent a solicitor's letter and it stopped for 8 months. While all of this was going on last year I was in contact with the gardai and yes she has a history.
All of the neighbours are aware there are issues as a garda car called to her house twice last summer which was nothing to do with us (actually a neighbour let us know it happened). And there was another issue which I won't go into not related to us and also a couple of things related to us I am leaving out.........none of could come to criminal charges but could have if they continued.
So what are my options? What would you do if you were in my shoes? I have followed all steps so I think I best option is to go ASBO!!
Hi Leesider32,
All sounds horrific to have to deal with.
If I were in your shoes I would sound my solicitor out about the ASBO aspect before proceeding any further.
Sounds as if you are not getting much help from your Community Garda. Have they been able to speak to her mother? GDPR would probably prevent this to a certain extent but it could be approached from the co-owner angle and her responsibility in this respect.
All sounds horrific to have to deal with.
If I were in your shoes I would sound my solicitor out about the ASBO aspect before proceeding any further.
Sounds as if you are not getting much help from your Community Garda. Have they been able to speak to her mother? GDPR would probably prevent this to a certain extent but it could be approached from the co-owner angle and her responsibility in this respect.
Back in the 1970's I rented a small flat. My immediate neighbour in a room divided by a thin sound enhancing stud partition was a German lady who had a grá for Irish folk music. Back in those days I used to work a large amount of night duty arriving back at the flat at 8.20am for some sleep. The German lady would have headed out to work at 7.45am leaving a stack of LP's mounted on her record player which continued to play loudly for 2/3 hours after she had left. (I got to know the words of every Clancy/Makem song until I eventually sounded like a depressed Liam Clancy.
Being the gallant person I am, I asked her to at least turn off her record player when she was leaving her flat. "I vill du az I vish" she informed me. Lep says to himself "No point in arguing here." I'd be leaving for work at 11.30pm at around the same time Frau Fritenzeshiten (not her real name) would be returning home after a night out.
Retaliation was my only hope and I'd leave my record player stacked with LP's by Bridie Gallagher, Royal Showband, Dixies and any other corny act I could lay my hands on. It took three nights before my Teutonic neighbour crawled to my door with a verbal peace treaty. She had a few lapses on the treaty, but after some more retaliation this time with Daniel O'Donnell LP's she could take no more. (Rep of Ireland 1 - 0 West Germany).
Being the gallant person I am, I asked her to at least turn off her record player when she was leaving her flat. "I vill du az I vish" she informed me. Lep says to himself "No point in arguing here." I'd be leaving for work at 11.30pm at around the same time Frau Fritenzeshiten (not her real name) would be returning home after a night out.
Retaliation was my only hope and I'd leave my record player stacked with LP's by Bridie Gallagher, Royal Showband, Dixies and any other corny act I could lay my hands on. It took three nights before my Teutonic neighbour crawled to my door with a verbal peace treaty. She had a few lapses on the treaty, but after some more retaliation this time with Daniel O'Donnell LP's she could take no more. (Rep of Ireland 1 - 0 West Germany).
Leesider32
Registered User
- Messages
- 184
Retaliation isn't really an option as we don't have the time to be annoying her to the degree that would work especially in these confined times whereas it appears to be her life's work when you consider she gets up at night, every night, multiple times to bang on our wall!!
Anyway my plan is as follows, feel free to pick holes in it:
Btw I have mentioned the ASBO and the law around it to solicitor acquaintances in other legal areas and they say it looks like a very good option to go with.
Anyway my plan is as follows, feel free to pick holes in it:
- I have had some traction with the gardai when I mentioned an ASBO, they called down to me Wednesday and I explained the situation at a high level, of course I got the whole thing of we can't do anything only ask her to stop etc. so I said no actually look at the ASBO law, they agreed to call into her last night which they did. They called me to update me, of course she denied banging on the wall but continued to do it last night!
- In the meantime I have sent a letter to the mother saying she is responsible for what happens in her house and I have been engaging with gardai, solicitor and looking at an ASBO. This avenue got us the 8 months peace and quiet the last time.
- The gard is off duty until Tuesday and will be calling me again to see how things went but as per the above she has taken no notice so I am going to suggest that I go through everything with them in detail including the effects it is having on us and that I want to make a statement. Also that we have tried every avenue and the only and strongest option is to go down the ASBO route. I will have all of this written up over the weekend so they have it in writing from me and can't be ignored.
- If I am not getting traction after that I will write directly to the superintendent, ask a sergeant who is a friend of the family in another county could they put in a call, and engage a solicitor. If necessary I will be contacting my local councillor and will be bringing up a person living in a house by themselves with what appears to be mental health issues.
Btw I have mentioned the ASBO and the law around it to solicitor acquaintances in other legal areas and they say it looks like a very good option to go with.