My life insurance - can anyone else access it apart from my son?

Hope my wording of Thread is ok?
A colleague of mine recently took out a life insurance policy to allow for lump sum payment to her daughter in the event of her death. The woman in TSB told her she hoped she had a will otherwise the childs father would be paid the money? They were never married - this seems a little strange to me? I thought the money would be kept in a trust until child was 18? Or do you have to stipulate in will that money is to be used by a certain person.
I myself have a policy with BOI and would not want my ex to get the money? Hope query makes sense. Thanks.

Without being an expert, Lorrie, I'd guess that you should make a will, stipulating what you want done. Life insurance policy payouts will go directly into your estate; thereafter, it's up to your executor to disburse monies/goods in accordance with the terms of your will.

If your son is under 18, you should also appoint a guardian — ideally someone other than the executor, as any solicitor will tell you.

I'm sure there have been previous threads on how to go about making a will, simply and inexpensively — try doing a search (once the has been restored).

after seperation I think a trip to an authorised advisor would be a good step. most people wouldn't know the details of policies they have, such as joint life, dual life, trusts, section 60's, etc, a thorough review could be the best option to safeguard all concerned and provide piece of mind.

again, like the good Doctor, I'm not an expert, but as far as I know, th policy could be taken out by the son/daughter on the father's life, something akin to wife insuring husband and husband insuring wife. This ensures that the proceeds go to the policyholder and do not form part of the estate of the insured life

I was under the impression that life insurance was paid directly to the beneficiary named on the policy, and did not form part of the estate. Please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

insurance policies can be set up either way - as a straight lump sum payable into the deceased person's estate or payable to a grantee named at inception of the policy. The grantee 'owns' the policy which becomes payable on the death of the insured person. If there is no grantee, the insured person owns the policy so it is part of their estate.