Moral Dilemma - Should I tell my friend?


I agree. In fact, someone else could easily use the knowledge that your suspicion would immediately fall on this one person to hide their own actions.
Or perhaps someone completely unknown walked in through an open back door and took it?

Which is why you need to involve the Guards - they will ask the right questions and hopefully help you get to the root of the matter.

Im astonished that someone would even consider not going to the Guards for a theft like this - its a crime, if someone in your home had threatened you with a knife you would report it wouldnt you?
 
I agree and was on more or less the same track when I posted this earlier:

Could there be any reasonable explanation for the alleged disappearance of the money other than the friend's girlfriend taking it? Think carefully and objectively about this.
 
 
Last edited:

Good point. This whole story is starting to sound like A Grand Don't Come for Free by 'urban poet', Mike Skinner...
 

OMG, I have been with him since 1964 and if I don't know him by now I never will! Come to think of it, I've noticed him slipping the odd bottle of vino into the trolley at Tesco!
 
Well, just teasing out different possibilities - you seem fairly sure its the one person, in that case I suggest you go to the guards and tell them of your suspicions and why. Let them interview her.
 
If you do decide to go to the Gardai, I'd suggest you do NOT let anyone else know that you have reported it. Let the Gardai do their job, and don't give suspect(s) lots of time to hide the evidence.
 
Next day, when I went to get the money to bring to the bank, I discovered my money was missing. None of the guests were in the kitchen. I trust my friend 100% but his gf has told me blatant lies in the past.
OK - put it this way to posters in general - would YOU convict anybody based on this evidence? I know that I wouldn't.
 
OK - put it this way to posters in general - would YOU convict anybody based on this evidence? I know that I wouldn't.

No. Based on whats known Id simply call the guards and tell them there was money there on a particular date and then it was gone and in between there was a dinner party with the following guests, 2 of whom spent a large part of the evening in the kitchen - and then Id let the guards deal with questioning people.
 
At this stage, aren't the guards going to be a bit 'annoyed', for want of a better word, that you waited so long to report a crime ? (Assuming you do actually report it).
 
yeah exactly. thats exactly what I would do
Exactly.
At this stage, aren't the guards going to be a bit 'annoyed', for want of a better word, that you waited so long to report a crime ? (Assuming you do actually report it).
Better late than never I suppose?

But since the original poster seems unwilling to report the matter to the relevant authorities it seems to me that there's little that they can do.

On the original issue of whether or not to tell the friend that the original poster suspects his girlfriend of the theft it seems to me that without specific evidence to support such a suspicion this could be dodgy - e.g. potentially slanderous even.
 
On the original issue of whether or not to tell the friend that the original poster suspects his girlfriend of the theft it seems to me that without specific evidence to support such a suspicion this could be dodgy - e.g. potentially slanderous even.

Yes, totally agree that without evidence, it will be very difficult to approch the subject at all.
 
Yes, totally agree that without evidence, it will be very difficult to approch the subject at all.

Definitely - which is why its no good throwing suspicions here and there. OP could find themselves being sued if not careful.

Just let the guards investigate it, its their job.
 
So - has the OP made a decision on her course of acftion yet?

Surely there have been enoiugh replies at this point ?
 
Yes there have been enough replies, thanks to all who offered suggestions and help. If there are any further developments I will post here
 
The only way to solve your dilemma is to "ask about money", loath as you are to do so. Make everyone aware that money went missing on the night they were in your house.
Your friend should be able to draw his own conclusions if his girlfriend seemingly suddenly has lots of money. In fact you could be warning somebody else - you will probably never know.
On the other hand, should you see a rift in a relationship, you may have a better idea where the money went.
 
Last edited: