Money from dad or not

Concert

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Elderly dad passed away five years ago, no will made because mother didn't believe in making a will. She told me that he only had a small sum left in his account which I presume went to her. I have never had a good relationship with my mam but was very close to my dad who was very generous to me (only child) when he was alive and my mam has also been good to us financially since. I feel that she has not been truthful with my regarding his affairs and that maybe the money she gave me was really his but when I ask her she never gives a straight answer. She lies about everything and all I want to know if the money I got was from him.. Is there any way I can look into us at this late stage as it's troubling me a lot.
 
If their is no will, then obviously she had access to his accounts as she would be down as his next of kin. I doubt you will be able to trace the money as the banks will not give out this information.
You might get more information from family than from the banks. Maybe contact aunts and uncles and see if they have heard your mother saying anything about the money. Other than that - the only other way to know - is to see if you can get hold of bank statements through irregulated means.

Maybe your gut instinct is correct. Treat the money as though it is coming from your father - otherwise if you don't - it will eat you up inside - as it already seems to be.
 
I think if it went to probate then it would be a matter of public record and you would be able to find out from the probate office. If there was small sums involved (<5K) or it was in a joint account, or there was a listed nominee on a credit union account for <23K then it may have not gone to probate (i'm not 100% certain of those figures)
 
Just because I am my parents son doesn't mean I am entitled to anything that they have. They gave me shelter and fed me and educated me. If they choose to give me anything that is very nice but it's not an entitlement. That's how it is for me. Good luck
 
. I feel that she has not been truthful with my regarding his affairs and that maybe the money she gave me was really his but when I ask her she never gives a straight answer. She lies about everything and all I want to know if the money I got was from him...

This is a very sad state of affairs, you state that your mother is lying to you. What exactly is she lying about? If she inherited everything your father left then it is not his money she is giving you it is hers. You mention she is generous so what is your gripe? Are you upset that your dad didn't leave the money to you? Maybe he thought it best to leave everything to her, she is your other parent, with different parenting styles, but so what. She must be very upset her partner has died and now her child considers her a liar.

Also it is not your mother who decided your father should not make a will. He was an adult after all.
 
Just because I am my parents son doesn't mean I am entitled to anything that they have. They gave me shelter and fed me and educated me. If they choose to give me anything that is very nice but it's not an entitlement. That's how it is for me. Good luck

This has absolutely nothing to do with entitlement. As I was very close to my father I just wanted to know if the few pound I got was from him. All it takes is 'yes' or 'No'.
 
...my mam has also been good to us financially since...

If she was left the money then its her money. Actions speak louder than words. If shes been good to you that says a lot no?

I can understand perhaps theres some emotional baggage even emotional blackmail with this. But I'd suggest taking a positive outlook on it.
 
Setting all the emotions & touchy family dymamics aside aside for a sec, isn't the OP legally entitled to 1/3 of his fathers estate? His father died without a will. Intestacy laws therefore apply. Under those laws, the surviving spouse gets 2/3 of the deceased estate, with the remaining 1/3 going to the children. What the mother decides to give or not give her son, or what the son feels he may or may not be entitled to should be irrelevant. The law sets out in plain black and white who gets what.

The only exception to this is if a bank account was held by the parents jointly, in both their names. If that was the case, the bank would transfer over the funds to the other account holder on the production of death certificate. No other parties have a claim on it. But if it was in the fathers name only, they should not have transfered anything to anyone unless they saw a will or a Grant of Probate or Letters of Administration giving that person legal entitlement to the funds.

OP, if I were you, I'd approach the Probate office and see what they can tell you about his estate & were letters of administration ever taken out, by who and when. Then pop into the bank and find out if you can what the status of the account was, joint or in your dads name only. Or get a solicitor to write to them to find out. You may have had a legal claim to funds that they had in their care. They can't just brush you off without potentially getting themselves into trouble.

If it turns out the account was a joint one, let it go. The monies in it are your mams now. She is and was legally entitled to all of it. She has zero legal obligation to tell you or anyone else anything about it, or give you a single penny of it. If she has gifted you money since then, she is under no obligation to tell you its source. It would be nice if she did to put your mind at rest, but she has no legal obligation to do so. That may tick you off, but its just how things are, let it go.

If the account was in your dads name only, then you have to decide what you want to do, let it go, or go after your mother for what you are legally entitled to, and risk harming your relationship with her forever. With all due respect to your mother, her opinion that she didn't "believe" in wills would not be the most educated or enlightened of viewpoints imo. Perhaps she is just not aware of what happens when someone dies without a will. Perhaps she just presumed that everything automatically went to her when her husband died, when in fact it should not have. It's up to you to decide how best to to approach her with that fact, if at all.
 
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