A worried farmer seeks advice from the agony aunt in The Farmers' Weekly -
Dear Auntie,
I have never written to you before, but I'm badly in need of some advice.
I've suspected for some time now that Mrs. Farmer has been cheating on me - stepping out behind me back or playing away from home in hurling speak.
When the phone rings at home and I answer it, the caller hangs up. When I enquire about the names of the 'girls' she goes out with frequently the answer I get is 'Sure you wouldn't know them at all, at all'.
When she's out late I try to stay awake to confront her when she comes home but due my early morning milking schedule I always fall asleep and I can't wake her in the mornings.
Anyway, last night I got sick of the whole feckin' lot so around mid-night I hid in the shed behind the new tractor. I had a perfect view across the entire yard when she eventually got home from her latest night out with the girls.
She pulled up about 1:15 am and after parking the car she got out, buttoning up her blouse as she exited the car, then she took her knickers out of the hand-bag and put them on.
It was at that very instant, crouched there behind the new tractor that I noticed it - a hairline fracture in the manifold just where it meets the exhaust.
Is this something I can fix myself or do I need to take the tractor back to the main-dealer?
Yours etc., Mr. Farmer.
Dear Auntie,
I have never written to you before, but I'm badly in need of some advice.
I've suspected for some time now that Mrs. Farmer has been cheating on me - stepping out behind me back or playing away from home in hurling speak.
When the phone rings at home and I answer it, the caller hangs up. When I enquire about the names of the 'girls' she goes out with frequently the answer I get is 'Sure you wouldn't know them at all, at all'.
When she's out late I try to stay awake to confront her when she comes home but due my early morning milking schedule I always fall asleep and I can't wake her in the mornings.
Anyway, last night I got sick of the whole feckin' lot so around mid-night I hid in the shed behind the new tractor. I had a perfect view across the entire yard when she eventually got home from her latest night out with the girls.
She pulled up about 1:15 am and after parking the car she got out, buttoning up her blouse as she exited the car, then she took her knickers out of the hand-bag and put them on.
It was at that very instant, crouched there behind the new tractor that I noticed it - a hairline fracture in the manifold just where it meets the exhaust.
Is this something I can fix myself or do I need to take the tractor back to the main-dealer?
Yours etc., Mr. Farmer.