Tony Blair is rudely awoken at 4am by the telephone.
"Tony, John Prescott here.
Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency! I've
just received word that the Durex factory in Sheffield has burned
to the ground. It is estimated that the entire British
supply of condoms will be gone by the end of the week."
"Christ John - the economy will never be able to cope with all those
unwanted babies - we'll be ruined!"
"We're going to have to ship some in from abroad... America?..."
"No chance!! Bush will have a field day on this one!"
"What about Ireland?"
"Maybe - but we don't want them to know that we are stuck. You call
Bertie Ahern - tell him we need one million condoms; coloured red,
white and blue; twelve inches long and eight inches thick!
That way he'll know how big the brits really are!!"
John calls Bertie, who agrees to help the brits out in their hour of need.
Three days later a van arrives outside Downing Street - full of boxes.
A delighted Tony rushes out to open the boxes.
He finds condoms; 12 inches long; 8 inches thick, all coloured red, white or blue. He then notices in small writing on each and every one:-
MADE IN IRELAND - SIZE: MEDIUM
"Tony, John Prescott here.
Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency! I've
just received word that the Durex factory in Sheffield has burned
to the ground. It is estimated that the entire British
supply of condoms will be gone by the end of the week."
"Christ John - the economy will never be able to cope with all those
unwanted babies - we'll be ruined!"
"We're going to have to ship some in from abroad... America?..."
"No chance!! Bush will have a field day on this one!"
"What about Ireland?"
"Maybe - but we don't want them to know that we are stuck. You call
Bertie Ahern - tell him we need one million condoms; coloured red,
white and blue; twelve inches long and eight inches thick!
That way he'll know how big the brits really are!!"
John calls Bertie, who agrees to help the brits out in their hour of need.
Three days later a van arrives outside Downing Street - full of boxes.
A delighted Tony rushes out to open the boxes.
He finds condoms; 12 inches long; 8 inches thick, all coloured red, white or blue. He then notices in small writing on each and every one:-
MADE IN IRELAND - SIZE: MEDIUM