living abroad but cant pay mortgage back home

Hi. Long story but here goes. Id really appreciate any advice.
In 2008 myself and my wife bought our house, i had a good job which i was in for 10 + years and had hopes of a happy future. Well bang recession hit and i lost my job, the company went bust due to our customers not paying or who couldnt pay , anyways i was on the dole for a year with no luck in finding work and with 2 young kids and a wife to look after i was so depressed and desperate for work i had to look outside ireland. Eventually i got a call from an employer in canada who offered me a job after a skype interview. I made the hardest decision of my life and that was to move my family away from our loved ones and leave. Arrears on my house have shot thru the roof. Ive lost count but id say 60k . lost my job in 2011 btw. Moved here 2012. Havint seen my family since i left. Just phone calls. The canadian dream, everyone thinks yeah theres great money blah blah blah theres not. Its so expensive. Anyways the mortgage now is not sustainable. Theres no chance of paying it off ever. I payed 315000 . its worth half that id say. I have people renting it now but its not covering even half the mortgage. Rent goes directly to the bank. I dont see any of it. The bank is now sending threats to me about the arrears and possible repo. I dont know what to do. If they repo it i cant pay the shortfall when they sell it. Im in a state of sever depression and anxiety over this. I feel sick to my stomach when i look in my mailbox and see a letter from them . What do i do . Do i do what other people have been saying and disappear? My kids love it here and want to stay, if ever the possibility of us buying a house again comes round can the banks back home pursue us for a stake in our new home. Can they cause problems? Can they chase me for the shortfall of the house when they sell it. Im sorry ive rambled on. And if this doesn't make sense, ive just done a 14 hour shift. Any information would be great on what i should do. Thank you

I don't think you've anything to worry about. Why don't you just agree to them taking the house and end the misery you are going through. It's easy to say this but don't worry about the letters, half the country are getting those letters, I have a sibling getting them and they've no money so unlike you they know the bank can't get anything from them. Most of the letters are standard computer generated warnings and threats. Even I get bank mortgage documents with all sorts of warnings about dire consequences if I don't pay my mortgage and there's ads on the Irish radio too.

First step for you is to read the other threads on here by many many posters like you. The general advice to those who are gone is to try bankruptcy where you are, but I'd imagine in your case that isn't even needed. Just email the bank and tell them you're willing to surrendor the house and what do you need to do.

The bank can threaten you, but so far we've not had one poster who was chased abroad. They cannot even get David Drumm or Sean Dunne for heavens sake. If you have only enough money to pay housing and for your family how are they going to pursue you for the shortfall. Even if it's around 150K or so, chasing someone in Canada is very very costly.

You must have some Irish people around you in similar circumstances, people don't like to talk about it but some will, ask them what they've left behind, you'll find many have left houses and are just ignoring the bank.

If you don't want letters from the bank then move house and never tell the bank where you are. How did they get your current address?

Raptor,
Brontes advice is good.

Please PLease ! Kill the major anxiety.!
Bank very very unlikely to try to chase/find you in Canada.

In fairness to Bank ,they have a debt that is going nowhere , they too need closure.
write and explain your position and suggest handing over keys/sale as a final closure.
They may huff and puff but hold your ground ,remember they are NOT in a good position.

Again, as Bronte says make some enquiries over insolvency in Canada, you might be surprised and find insolvency in Canada is well do-able.

Your worries on (letters)(stake)(pursue) etc are way over the Top , I know its easy for me to say that , but it is true.

So do not get hyper -stressed over any letters and do now go for closure.

Good luck.

And good luck

Hi thanks for the reply. I have no one here to tlk to apart from my wife who like me is mentally screwed up over this. I was trying to do the right thing when i left , keeping in touch with the bank trying to pay down arrears etc but i just cant do it anymore. Canada is in a recession now. (bloody recession is following me). And im even lucky now to have a job. Ive always worked hard for what i have/had. I was never on the dole before 2011 but its at the point now where ive no more energy to deal with this. Im a worrier . i want to start fresh. But this is like a noose around my neck.

If you're paying back the arrears out of your current salary you should stop forthwith and spend it on your family. You're quite clearly broke. You don't have to do it anymore. You have to start thinking differently.

As an expat myself I'd like to address this with you. Are you sure that is not the real issue, it si not easy to emigrate. But it does get easier, the first year for me was hell, but I'm totally in love with where I am now. But of course it's easy for me to pop home. Canada is whole different ball game. I used to go home every xmas. Now I don't, not the way I used to. And I'm not missing anything, you just think you are.

I would imagine that if you stop worrying about the bank, your wife will stop worring about you. This is a viscious circle. Only last week we had another poster in a very bad way. Not abroad. Why don't you talk on here. Or go onto a discussion board, such as boards.ie etc. Whatever floats your boat. It's important that you make an effort in Canada to make friends and to socialise. You have to force yourself to do it. Sure you can move on. You just have to make a last push to deal with getting away from the bank.

Is there no Canadian website for the Irish to chat?

As I said to you, the first place to start is to read the other posters who are just like you. There are an awful lot of people in Ireland in despair too. You at least got out and got a job and can make a new life for yourself. My OH was in Ireland last weekend and met a once big time developer/builder he used to deal with and the man was 'broke' but happy enough, didn't care really, has got over it and probably has a few bob hidden away my OH said to him. Unlike you that man is too old now to start again.

Raptor 1.

Bronte is again correct.

Your 1st responsibility is to look after yourself and your family.
Do you think Mr Banker gives a hoot about you and yours.

Change your mindset from being the pursued .
The best Mr Bank will get is the ability to sell Irish home and he will be glad to get closure. .

So harden your resolve and move on, (its only money, you killed no-one ) so force closure.

Gerry Canning said:

Raptor,
Brontes advice is good.

Please PLease ! Kill the major anxiety.!
Bank very very unlikely to try to chase/find you in Canada.

In fairness to Bank ,they have a debt that is going nowhere , they too need closure.
write and explain your position and suggest handing over keys/sale as a final closure.
They may huff and puff but hold your ground ,remember they are NOT in a good position.

Again, as Bronte says make some enquiries over insolvency in Canada, you might be surprised and find insolvency in Canada is well do-able.

Your worries on (letters)(stake)(pursue) etc are way over the Top , I know its easy for me to say that , but it is true.

So do not get hyper -stressed over any letters and do now go for closure.

Good luck.

And good luck

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Ive read i cant go bankrupt in ireland because ive been gone 3+ years and i really dont want to do it in canada. Thanks guys for the response.

Bronte said:

If you're paying back the arrears out of your current salary you should stop forthwith and spend it on your family. You're quite clearly broke. You don't have to do it anymore. You have to start thinking differently.

As an expat myself I'd like to address this with you. Are you sure that is not the real issue, it si not easy to emigrate. But it does get easier, the first year for me was hell, but I'm totally in love with where I am now. But of course it's easy for me to pop home. Canada is whole different ball game. I used to go home every xmas. Now I don't, not the way I used to. And I'm not missing anything, you just think you are.

I would imagine that if you stop worrying about the bank, your wife will stop worring about you. This is a viscious circle. Only last week we had another poster in a very bad way. Not abroad. Why don't you talk on here. Or go onto a discussion board, such as boards.ie etc. Whatever floats your boat. It's important that you make an effort in Canada to make friends and to socialise. You have to force yourself to do it. Sure you can move on. You just have to make a last push to deal with getting away from the bank.

Is there no Canadian website for the Irish to chat?

As I said to you, the first place to start is to read the other posters who are just like you. There are an awful lot of people in Ireland in despair too. You at least got out and got a job and can make a new life for yourself. My OH was in Ireland last weekend and met a once big time developer/builder he used to deal with and the man was 'broke' but happy enough, didn't care really, has got over it and probably has a few bob hidden away my OH said to him. Unlike you that man is too old now to start again.

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Bronte thank you. Im a new member as you can prob tell, i dont really like talking about this kind of stuff but its got to me over the past while. Ur right in what you are saying. As for homesick i go on to streetview and take a little drive round the odd time, seems to sort me out for a while lol