leaving work e-mail

L

lz1

Registered User
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I am leaving work next week, I have to write the usual leaving work e-mail but looking for ideas for a witty few lines as opposed to the normal blah blah blah that everyone deletes without reading.
Thankx
 
How about:

Hello - I'd like to inquire about incontinence pants. Do you sell them?

Yes - where are you ringing from?

The waist down.
 
How about:
Hello - I'd like to inquire about incontinence pants. Do you sell them?
Yes - where are you ringing from?
The waist down.
Click to expand...

Clubman obviously works in IT where the above is considered absolute hilarity:p

So unless you work with Clubman I would not recommend that particular joke !

You could try something like this:

While I have a high degree of personal respect for my fellow workers, I am no longer comfortable working for an organisation largely populated by politocrats, vengeful rivalries, and fiefdoms reminiscent of imperial Chinese literature. In fact, I dare say that I would rather be tied in a leather bag with ravenous, rabid ocelots than remain at this company any longer than the next two weeks.

Has a certain ring to it!
 
Write your valediction in Limerick or Haiku form. Optionally attach a virus to make sure that people take notice of it and remember you.
 
And tell them you've signed all their email addresses up for special offers on generic Viagra/imitation Rolexes/Nigerian investment opportunities, etc. :D
 
Dear all,
I'm sorry it had to be like this, but its time to bid adieu. You know I love each and every one of you. Like I would my hamster. You are a bunch of beautiful bohemian heroes. But I want more. One slice is never enough.
So its time for me to leave. To move on. To cut the chord one might say. Will I ever forget you? Yes, but probably not for 2 or 3 weeks.
I'll have to finish now. I'm starting to cry. And I know the IT department will dock my last pay cheque if I short out the keyboard with my tears.

So parting is such sweet sorrow. The quiet 12 pints I'll be having tonight will ease my pain....

Til next our paths cross and I mow one of you down....

Regards all,
Roger Ring.
 
Why do you care if you are leaving.....it is your introduction email to the new co-workers you should be stressing about!
 
...............Of course I care , if I didn't care I wouldn't be leaving.
 
How about:
How did I tolerate you cretins for so long?
OR
How did I survive in this intellectual wilderness for so long?
 
Don't sweat it, nobody will read your e-mail.
Have you ever read somebody else's leaving e-mail? Seriously?
 
People definitely read them.

Just be careful what you say, that's my advice. Years ago I sent off one of those things and a few weeks later when I returned to the former workplace to meet someone for lunch I was taken to task by one or two people who were offended by the mail. I didn't have a copy of course (it was done on the work PC) so I had no idea what they were talking about. But you never know how people might interpret your message. So be positive and resist the temptation to take a few swipes!
 
extopia said:
But you never know how people might interpret your message.
Click to expand...
Tell me about it! I haven't a clue what people are on about most of the time they get annoyed at some of my posts! :confused:
 
People definitely read them....and then give out because it is the same thing re written that the person who left last week wrote. So be careful what you say, absolutely not the place to take any kind of swipe at anybody IMHO.
 
Ok I have to tell you this one...one of my colleagues was leaving, he was male, and had the usual spiel...sorry to leave, dah de dah...

then he signed it Elaine!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He had obviously copied it from another email and forgotten to change the signaure :)

And to make matters worse, one of the guys I work with, called him over to point it out before he left...that was one red faced guy(forever nicknamed Elaine to all who received that email!!!) leaving the building!!
 
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