Joke!
- Thread starter BillK
- Start date
Henny Penny
Registered User
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- 559
love it!!
here's some more...
How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho Cheese
What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite
What's the difference between roast beef and peasoup?
Anyone can roast beef
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers
Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
Because it scares the heck out of the dog
What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
Sanka
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The location of the dirt bag
Why does a pilgrim's pants always fall down?
Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it!
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, unique up on it!
What goes clop, clop, clop, bang, bang, clop, clop clop?
An Amish drive-by shooting
How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same?
Somebody's gonna lose a trailer
any one got any more?
here's some more...
How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho Cheese
What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite
What's the difference between roast beef and peasoup?
Anyone can roast beef
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers
Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
Because it scares the heck out of the dog
What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
Sanka
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The location of the dirt bag
Why does a pilgrim's pants always fall down?
Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it!
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, unique up on it!
What goes clop, clop, clop, bang, bang, clop, clop clop?
An Amish drive-by shooting
How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same?
Somebody's gonna lose a trailer
any one got any more?
What do you call a fish with no eyes?? fsh.
What do you call a fly with no wings?? A walk.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, "Dam."
A pair of jump-leads walk into a bar. The barman says, "I'll serve you, just don't start anything."
A man walks into a bar with a slab of tarmac and says, "A pint please, and one for the road."
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"
Patient : "I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green, Grass of Home' ."
Doctor : "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
Patient : "Is it common?"
Doctor : "It's Not Unusual."
Two cows in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
Dolly : "I don't believe you."
Daisy : "It's true, no bull."
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
Says the vet, "Lets have a look."
He picks the dog up, examines his eyes, checks his teeth and ears.
Finally, the vet says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What, just because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's so bleedin' heavy."
Be careful of your healthy breakfast, my pal drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a strong currant.
Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, " I'll work the guns, you drive."
A woman walks into a cocktail bar and asks for a double entendre, so the barman gives her one.
What do you call a fly with no wings?? A walk.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, "Dam."
A pair of jump-leads walk into a bar. The barman says, "I'll serve you, just don't start anything."
A man walks into a bar with a slab of tarmac and says, "A pint please, and one for the road."
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"
Patient : "I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green, Grass of Home' ."
Doctor : "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
Patient : "Is it common?"
Doctor : "It's Not Unusual."
Two cows in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
Dolly : "I don't believe you."
Daisy : "It's true, no bull."
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
Says the vet, "Lets have a look."
He picks the dog up, examines his eyes, checks his teeth and ears.
Finally, the vet says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What, just because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's so bleedin' heavy."
Be careful of your healthy breakfast, my pal drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a strong currant.
Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, " I'll work the guns, you drive."
A woman walks into a cocktail bar and asks for a double entendre, so the barman gives her one.
These three are excellent!