Is wanting to be popular a bad thing?

S

Sabarium

Guest
Hi all,The topic about you on the internet and you in real life got me thinking. Is it a bad thing to want to be popular? I think we all just want to be accepted. Like myself for example, I'm been working real hard to move up the soical ladder and I'm starting to see results...slowly seeing results. Because of this I feel better about myself, I'm actually happy sometimes. [broken link removed] So I guess the question is, is wanting to fit in a bad thing? And how far is to far when trying to become popular. The movie Mean Girls comes to mind.. Thanks!
 
We are a social species, so wanting to be part of the gang is hard-wired into us from an evolutionary standpoint. We need to get on with each other and we do this through chat and gossip, rather than mutual grooming (though lovers tend to do a good bit of this!). Most of us find it easy enough to make friends and have friends even though somthing like 85% of people call themselves shy. It's only a problem when a person's life is very out of synch with how they'd like to be, when they are desperate for popularity and not satisfied with the 2 or 3 good friends most of us have. We all have about 2000 acquaintances.

Sabarium, I don't think you can answwer this unless you make a 100 posts, but What do you mean by the social ladder????
 
I think it's really a question of self-image. People with high self-esteem don't really care what other people think about them. The corrollary also tends to be true.
 
extopia said:
I think it's really a question of self-image. People with high self-esteem don't really care what other people think about them. The corrollary also tends to be true.
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I agree and disagree with this at the same time! It's true to say that people with high self esteem don't need others' approval but isn't 'not caring what other people think of them' bordering on a self righteous sort of arrogance?
 
I don't know - is it? I'd tend to think it's more the result of being comfortable in their own skins. To be honest I think it may be more arrogant to seek out or even demand the approval of others. But maybe that's just me. Life, unfortunately, is not a popularity contest.
 

Unless you're a politician!

I think people who are genuinely comfortable in their own skins have no problem listening to, learning from, and taking on board anything constructive that others might say. They are well balanced enough to realise that someone somewhere will always know more than them and are not afraid of appearing foolish by asking questions.

Arrogance is usally displayed by people who feel superior in some way. I suppose it is arrogant to seek out or demand approval but I think it probably staves off feelings of inferiority which must be suppressed.

Popularity, in my mind, is something different and I would usually associate the desire to be popular with children or teenagers. We all define ourselves by our group when we're younger and so being popular means we won't be left out in the cold. The so called social ladder gives me the pip! In an ideal world we'd all feel comfortable enough in our own skins to be happy with who we are and where we are going. It's alright to strive for things which will enhance our lives and that of the people we care about. Some people own a caravan in Brittas which overnight becomes "my place in the country", depending on who they're talking to. Not everyone we meet is going to like us, no matter where we live or what we tell them we have.
 

You have gone too far when you find yourself in uncomfortable situations, when you look around and think to yourself I really don't like these people very much at all or when you start to compromise your own beliefs and opinions just to fit in with your peers. Out of interest what do you stand to gain from moving up this social ladder, i.e when you get to the top what will be there? - will it be people who you truly like and respect and would consider very good friends whom you could turn to if you were in trouble or is it something else?
 
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