Is inheritance factored in?

S

seantheman

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I don't think any topic discussed on AAM gets my back up the way inheritance and will issues do. I've been reading and contributing to the forums for a few years now and i find that try as they may, the sheer greed of some posters can't be hidden no matter how hard they try. Be it posts about putting parents into care home and expecting the state to pay for their care, while they cream profits from sale of house, or equity release in parents house to provide funds, or parents co-erced into acting guarantor for the purchase of a house.
Maybe i'm being oversensitive here but when i started working at 18, I never considered that one day my parents would pass away and i would be left with a nestegg. I figured that i would make my own way in life and although of course i'll pay for my children's education, I wont be buying their first car or giving them a deposit for their mortgage.
So based on this, do other posters ever get the impression that i get, that inheritance is factored into their financial/lifestyle choices?
 
You are so right, but sadly it's not just in Ireland. I'm abroad and the mindset of people today do see it as their right and also the do goody goody parents of today think it's right as well. I don't blame children, I blame parents. This new phrase, "Quality Time", jeez, it would shiver me timbers at times.
 
I agree with you whole heartedly . But i think kids of today put a lot of pressure on parents to provide material things for them and put a lot of guilt on the parents when they say no .
I have 3 girls the oldest one was brought a small cheap car when she was 19 as she had started a new job and needed it. Never really asked for much since . The youngest girl accepts no as no and is a dream . But the middle girl who was brought up in the Celtic tiger thinks we have thousands to spend on her and was even looking at colleges in the UK @ 9 grand a year .
She is not entitled to a grant and thinks she can go up the country to college . I said sorry but colleges up the country is only for grant aided students now
she cannot comprehend the notion of standing on her own feet and has an entitled attitude .
So yes your observations are very correct
 
Agree seantheman, some of the posts here regarding inheritances really get to me.

While I know that my parents have provided for me in their will, I have told them time and again to enjoy their lives and spend their money on themselves. I would much rather they do that that leave me with a "nest egg" They have done more than enough already for myself and my siblings.
 
My parents used to joke that they had every intention of spending every single penny they had before they died. They did a fair amount of traveling before they died, so my siblings and I presumed that was exactly what they were doing, and wished them all the best. We loved seeing them lead such active and happy lives, instead of spending the rest of their days sitting by the fire side just waiting to die. They worked hard for what they had and, their money was their own. We certainly didn't think that we had any special entitlement to any of it. Consequently, we lived our own lives not expecting any massive dig outs from our parents.

We were all pretty stunned to find out that they left us all pretty well taken care of when they died. In hindsight, I suppose it was not a surprise as they were both pretty economical & sensible people during their lives. It would have out of character for them to blow all their money on expensive holidays abroad and cruises, and not keep some for a rainy day. I can not lie, the money has come in very handy. But I do still regret that my mother in particular didn't use it to do some of the things that she really, really wanted to do (such as go to Australia) but couldn't while my father was alive, as he wouldn't fly mega long distances. I am happy to say that my siblings feel the same way.
 
As a parent, I'd like to think I will leave a nice bit of inheritance for my kids. I don't think there is anything wrong with them knowing that. You cant bring it with you, and I believe in living within means, I'm a saver. They know that. I'm not saying that they should choose a lifestyle beyond their means, factoring in a windfall at some stage.

That said, when talking about kids and them expecting stuff, it is not a nice thing to see. Or shipping parents to old folks homes to get at their cash etc. Awful stuff.

Having been through a fairly upsetting period recently myself, the one piece of advice from me would be to never discuss your will with the beneficiaries before you die. People do funny things when they are dying, and change their minds, which is their prerogative of course. But when the details of the will has already been communicated to the beneficiaries, and then it is changed, it can leave people very hurt.
 

I would strongly agree with this. When people start thinking about wills in their 50s or 60s they may have up to another 40 years to live - anything can change in that time and usually does. If you have discussed your will with a beneficiary or executor you can be sure they will be living in expectation.

Friend A who has no family had appointed another friend B as executor and had informed her of this. B's mother-in-law recently died and she informed A with glee that she got to the house before the rest of the family and took her pick of the jewellery and glass. Friend A is aghast and will now rush to change her will..........................
 
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