Hi fuzzy
This is exactly the type of question for which the Money Makeover Forum was designed. It's great to get it. You will probably gets lots of different views.
I would not be putting any further money into a pension for either of you. In fact, I would be scrapping the AVCs - especially your wife's. You have good pension schemes at the moment. You are entering into a very expensive stage of your life, I would have as much money available as possible now. At a later stage, your wife may get better value by buying years service rather than paying AVCs.
My main concern is the size of your mortgage. It is not a problem now as you have income of €120k a year. But if your wife wants to take a career break when the kids are born, then your mortgage will be way out of line with your income. For that reason, I think that increasing your monthly mortgage payments is probably the best and safest idea.
You may decide that you want the psychological comfort of having a nest egg rather than a smaller mortgage. In that case, you should build it up in a unit linked fund, such as Quinn Life. I would avoid a BES Scheme as I think you need the flexibility. Kids may arrive earlier than you planned or the house of your dreams may become available and you want to move fast. You don't want to have your money tied up in a pension scheme or a BES scheme. I would recommend an equity based unit linked fund. The value may go down, but the longer the holding period, the less likely that is to happen.
I don't get the following bit:
will need a lump sum deposit for a house move in 5 yrs.
It will be helpful to have a deposit, but you will probably have that from the equity in your home. You could say, that you have a €70,000 deposit at the moment.