Hi Folks ,
A brief outline of my dilemma . My father died several years ago and one of my brother lives in family home with my mother .My mother has Alzheimer's but she is manageable and doesn't wander off or anything ...just her memory not great .
My brother gets carers allowance ,he is single and has great patience with my mother and does a great job minding her etc .When my father died he left the house and about 100,00 euro. My mother gets about 420.00 p/w in pensions and this covers all the bills . All good so far!
So here's the thing. Another brother calls over usually once a week ,is very well paid as is his wife. I mean probably taking home between them 1600.00 p/w. They are both professionals with four children. When my brother calls over he is always moaning about having no money, and that they cant afford this and that, holidays, new cars etc. Now in fairness their cars are old, they dont smoke or don't go out for meals or weekends away etc. Their kids though are dressed in the best of gear and always were ie ,Hollister superdry etc. Now when he calls as I have said he is moaning about having no money, petrol, food, clothes or whatever.
The brother that lives with my mother feels sorry for him and maybe a bit intimadated, and has gotten into the habit of giving him my mother's debit card to go and get himself groceries while he is visiting. The rest of us siblings have known about this, havent been too happy with it, but as my brother who gives him the card has said, mother would have done it for anyone of us if she was in her right mind .
Recently I found bank statments from my mother's account and it seems that my brother that's always moaning has been using the card not only to buy groceries (sometimes 300.00 euro or more is spent in Dunnes stores) but also to pay for holidays, TVs, college fees for his kids and even burger king . That 100 K that my father left is now down to 40K, mostly from the brother helping himself.
My mother could live for many more years and if the money keeps depleting her inheritance will be gone and God forbid maybe the house will have to be sold .
So the dilemma is my mother and her children's inheritance is disappearing fast.
My brother has helped himself to nearly 60K but as my mother is still alive he can say he was given it and was not borrowed, so the money does not have to be paid back if mother dies from the proceeds of the her estate . This would leave the rest of us siblings with little inheritance while he has pocketed nearly 60k . My brother who is helping himself, and his wife, earns more than any of his sibling by a country mile and we can't understand how he can't survive on 1600.00 p/w while some of us and our partners are earning less than half of this . He has a mortgage of around 1300.00 p/m so should be well able to live on his income. So what can we do to recuperate money taken already and going forward. Any help appreciated .
A brief outline of my dilemma . My father died several years ago and one of my brother lives in family home with my mother .My mother has Alzheimer's but she is manageable and doesn't wander off or anything ...just her memory not great .
My brother gets carers allowance ,he is single and has great patience with my mother and does a great job minding her etc .When my father died he left the house and about 100,00 euro. My mother gets about 420.00 p/w in pensions and this covers all the bills . All good so far!
So here's the thing. Another brother calls over usually once a week ,is very well paid as is his wife. I mean probably taking home between them 1600.00 p/w. They are both professionals with four children. When my brother calls over he is always moaning about having no money, and that they cant afford this and that, holidays, new cars etc. Now in fairness their cars are old, they dont smoke or don't go out for meals or weekends away etc. Their kids though are dressed in the best of gear and always were ie ,Hollister superdry etc. Now when he calls as I have said he is moaning about having no money, petrol, food, clothes or whatever.
The brother that lives with my mother feels sorry for him and maybe a bit intimadated, and has gotten into the habit of giving him my mother's debit card to go and get himself groceries while he is visiting. The rest of us siblings have known about this, havent been too happy with it, but as my brother who gives him the card has said, mother would have done it for anyone of us if she was in her right mind .
Recently I found bank statments from my mother's account and it seems that my brother that's always moaning has been using the card not only to buy groceries (sometimes 300.00 euro or more is spent in Dunnes stores) but also to pay for holidays, TVs, college fees for his kids and even burger king . That 100 K that my father left is now down to 40K, mostly from the brother helping himself.
My mother could live for many more years and if the money keeps depleting her inheritance will be gone and God forbid maybe the house will have to be sold .
So the dilemma is my mother and her children's inheritance is disappearing fast.
My brother has helped himself to nearly 60K but as my mother is still alive he can say he was given it and was not borrowed, so the money does not have to be paid back if mother dies from the proceeds of the her estate . This would leave the rest of us siblings with little inheritance while he has pocketed nearly 60k . My brother who is helping himself, and his wife, earns more than any of his sibling by a country mile and we can't understand how he can't survive on 1600.00 p/w while some of us and our partners are earning less than half of this . He has a mortgage of around 1300.00 p/m so should be well able to live on his income. So what can we do to recuperate money taken already and going forward. Any help appreciated .