In court

stobear

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521
> ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
> WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
> _____________________________
> ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
> WITNESS: July 18th.
> ATTORNEY: What year?
> WITNESS: Every year.
> _____________________________________
> ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the car impact?
> WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
> ______________________________________
> ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at
all?
> WITNESS: Yes.
> ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
> WITNESS: I forget.
> ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you
> forgot?
> _____________________________________
> ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
> WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
> ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
> WITNESS: Forty-five years.
> _____________________________________
> ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that
> morning?
> WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
> ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
> WITNESS: My name is Susan.
> ______________________________________
> ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in
> voodoo?
> WITNESS: We both do.
> ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
> WITNESS: We do.
> ATTORNEY: You do?
> WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
> ______________________________________
> ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in
his
> sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
> WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
> ___________________________________
> ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
> WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
> ________________________________________
> ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
> WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
> ______________________________________
> ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
> WITNESS: Yes.
> ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
> ______________________________________
> ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
> WITNESS: Yes.
> ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
> WITNESS: None.
> ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
> ______________________________________
> ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
> WITNESS: By death.
> ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
> ______________________________________
> ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
> WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
> ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
> ______________________________________
> ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
> deposition
> notice which I sent to your attorney?
> WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
> ______________________________________
> ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed
> on dead
> people?
> WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
> ______________________________________
> ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did
> you go
> to?
> WITNESS: Oral.
> ______________________________________
> ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
> WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
> ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
> WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing
> an
> autopsy on him!
> ______________________________________
> ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
> WITNESS: Huh?
> ______________________________________
> ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check
> for a
> pulse?
> WITNESS: No.
> ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
> WITNESS: No.
> ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
> WITNESS: No.
> ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when
> you
> began the autopsy?
> WITNESS: No.
> ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
> WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
> ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive,
nevertheless?
> WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
> practicing law.
 
I've seen it loads of times before, but it still brings tears of laughter to my eyes!
 
Yeah, have seen this a few times. Quality.

P.S. Has anyone checked if this is a duplicate post :D
 
Well CCOVICH, I just did a search on 'attorney' and looks like this is a first posting on AAM (although I didn't check ezboard!) ;-)
 
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