Important health advice for women

liaconn

Registered User
Messages
531
IMPORTANT HEALTH ADVICE FOR WOMEN

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Sauvignon Blanc.
Sauvignon Blanc is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.
It can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Sauvignon Blanc almost immediately and, with a regimen of regular doses, you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.
Stop hiding and start living.

Sauvignon Blanc may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use it.
However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic, lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

WARNINGS:

* The consumption of Sauvignon Blanc may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

* The consumption of Sauvignon Blanc may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

* The consumption of Sauvignon Blanc may cause you to think you can sing.

* The consumption of Sauvignon Blanc may make you think you can converse enthusiastically with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

* The consumption of Sauvignon Blanc may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
Please feel free to share this important information with as many women as you feel may benefit!
Now just imagine what you could achieve with a good Pinot Noir...
 
My wife just read this and asked me to post this

How To Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and
darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to
do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner
off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner
along
the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man


Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile on
the floor.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how
loud it
sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving
those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair.

Make a Shampoo Mohican.

Wee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.

Admire willy size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom
with towel
around waist.

If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound
again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

(what kills me is that all of this is true in my house anyway)
 
love this thread,
love Sauvignon Blanc
and yes my Partner is always saying after two glasses of this, I change into superwoman, cat woman!
 
Back
Top