Importance of church weddings to those who don't practice?

[ZEGAR]

Re: cost of church for wedding

Moderator note: split from this thread.

-- ClubMan

Why is a church weeding important to people that never attaend church ??

Just wondering as I know a number of people in the middle of arranging marriages and all want the church wedding yet not one of them attend church ???

 

[casiopea]

Re: cost of church for wedding

Why is a church weeding important to people that never attaend church ??

Just wondering as I know a number of people in the middle of arranging marriages and all want the church wedding yet not one of them attend church ???

I think this is more of LOS issue and possibly a new thread should be created for this question. I do go to mass so I cant really answer your question.

I got my swiss equivalent of the P60 recently, I paid last year 516chf in church taxes (332 euro) in 2005, when I was living in Dublin while I paid money towards the church (sunday collection baskets etc) Im sure my contribution was far less than 330 euro and was entirely voluntary. Relevance to the O.P. - irish catholic churches are cheaper than abroad, even with the priest contribution on a wedding day.

 

[daveco23]

Re: cost of church for wedding

Moderator note: split from this thread.

-- ClubMan

Why is a church weeding important to people that never attaend church ??

Just wondering as I know a number of people in the middle of arranging marriages and all want the church wedding yet not one of them attend church ???

Got married in registry office a few years ago, and when parish priest asked why we were not doing it in the church, my father explained we were not religious and did not want to subject ourselves to something neither of us believed in. Priests response to this was that he wished there were more people like us who didn't end up wasting his time when he knew he would never see the happy couple inside the church doors again..

To answer the question - Parents pay/help out with wedding expenses+kids trying to jeep them happy=church wedding.

 

[ZEGAR]

Each to his/her own of course but I could never understand the drama of a church wedding and then the christening and the communion ,confirmation and not a nothing of anyone actually attending mass outside of a celebration.

Don't get my wrong I am not some bible bashing granny..I just find the whole scenario strange

 

[Sarah W]

Oh I don't know - I often pop into the churchyard for a bit of weeding if it needs it!!!

Sarah

 

[z107]

I getting a church wedding and never go to mass. I don't believe in much of what the Catholic church teaches, indeed, my personal beliefs are pretty much at odds.

So why the church wedding?
Good question. To be honest, I don't even know myself. A combination of the below:

- I still probably slightly indoctrinated.
- A church wedding is nice. It's what they do in films and stuff.
- The relatives like it.

 

[icantbelieve]

Perhaps other people are like me and attendance in church isn't a measure of belief in God, I don't attend church but do consider my belief in God important to me.
The reason I don't attend is that as I grew up once I realised that most of those proporting to represent God on earth do so in an inconsistent and often self interested way.
However, I would view weddings, christenings, communions, confirmations and funerals as occasions to affirm my faith and that of my family in front of God and all his representatives have to do is to stick to the script.
As my children grow up I do intend to bring them to church so that they can make their own minds up about their faith. I'll make them aware that the Catholic church is also linked in positive ways with this country and that the despicable behaviour of many in recent times doesn't negate the positives.

 

[Danmo]

Perhaps other people are like me and attendance in church isn't a measure of belief in God, I don't attend church but do consider my belief in God important to me.

I so agree. We got married in a registry office and had a church blessing.
My hubby is Catholic and I am protestant. My husband was divorced (obviously) because first wife left him and kids. Neither church would marry us. C of I gave us a blessing under sufferance and made us feel like they were doing us a big favour. I was so hurt and angry but I still wanted God to be part of our marriage. We are both believers even though we are not religious. I guess you could call us hypocrites since neither of us attend Sunday mass/service but it was important to us both that our wedding had a spiritual and not just a state aspect. Hope that makes sense!

 

[ClubMan]

People in Ireland always get their knickers in a twist over stuff like [broken link removed]. I don't undestand why. If you're a member of that particular club then surely you try to live by its rules. If you're not then it doesn't really affect you. I'm obviously in the latter category. My wife's family were in high dudgeon when the local priest asked my sister in law some questions about her imminent marriage and religious practice when she dropped down to get the relevant documentation/certs. We thought it was fair enough if she was going to have a church wedding. They thought that we were the weirdos!

 

[Ham Slicer]

As my children grow up I do intend to bring them to church so that they can make their own minds up about their faith....

Is that not a contradiction. You are making their minds up for them.
If you bring them to a mosque to make their minds up they will be muslim etc. etc.

 

[olddog]

Re: cost of church for wedding

.......I got my swiss equivalent of the P60 recently, I paid last year 516chf in church taxes (332 euro) in 2005, when I was living in Dublin while I paid money towards the church (sunday collection baskets etc) Im sure my contribution was far less than 330 euro and was entirely voluntary. .....

It used to be possible to opt out of the Swiss god tax ( and I would expect that it still is possible ) but would you want to ?

 

[ClubMan]

Re: cost of church for wedding

It used to be possible to opt out of the Swiss god tax ( and I would expect that it still is possible )

Looks like it is possible.

but would you want to ?

You mean casiopea specifically or anybody in general? If it's the latter then I personally certainly would opt out of such a tax.

 

[icantbelieve]

Is that not a contradiction. You are making their minds up for them.
If you bring them to a mosque to make their minds up they will be muslim etc. etc.
How am I making their minds up for them, they will be exposed to the church and will make their decision some years down the line based on their experience. Is there a better way to come to a decision other than experiencing something and then deciding?

I always love the "if you're in the club then you should stick by the rules" mantra
a) why, I know you're against blind faith but now just ordinary faith as well
b) what are the "rules" and who decides what they are

Despite your lack of belief in deities suppose for a moment that one or more does exist do you think they are so unbending. I mean the "rules" until recently included the existence of limbo "for unbaptised children who don't go to hell but don't get to see God". It's this kind of crap that keeps me away from the official representatives who make it up as they go along. In fact given that a lot of the stuff I disagree with has been made up maybe I am sticking to the "rules" and its the officials who have gone off on their own.
As an aside I agree with you on the priest being entitled to ask about your relations regligious practice but I'd have a problem if he decided to bar them because he felt they didn't meet the required level.

 

[z107]

I always love the "if you're in the club then you should stick by the rules" mantra
a) why, I know you're against blind faith but now just ordinary faith as well

Isn't all faith 'blind'? I thought the whole idea of faith was to believe something, with any evidence to absolutely confirm it.
It's amazing just how much faith people do have. For example, how many people have conducted an experiment to prove to themselves that the Earth isn't flat? - Most people will take the word of others.
Take it a step further, and maybe the whole empirical basis of science is flawed.

b) what are the "rules" and who decides what they are

If you're talking about the Catholic church, the Pope decides. For Christianity, This post will be deleted if not edited immediately decides and so on for other religions and beliefs.

 

[ClubMan]

I always love the "if you're in the club then you should stick by the rules" mantra

I presume you're referring to my earlier comments? I'm glad you enjoyed the comment. Thanks.

a) why, I know you're against blind faith but now just ordinary faith as well

I don't really like or understand the suspension of critical faculties and logic and blind acceptance that all religions require of adherents. I respect the individual's right to believe in whatever they choose (as long as no non consenting other is harmed by this or the expression of those beliefs) but I don't necessarily respect the beliefs themselves (which is my prerogative wouldn't you agree?).

b) what are the "rules" and who decides what they are

Whatever religious organisation to which people claim to belong to obviously. In the context of Catholicism, for example, aren't adherents supposed to accept Papal infallibility?

Despite your lack of belief in deities suppose for a moment that one or more does exist do you think they are so unbending.

Supposing that would be anathema to me - sorry. But maybe you could consider the fact that a Catholic believer is atheistic when it comes to all other Gods that humans have believed in over the years that we are on this planet. As the saying goes, some people just go one God further.

I mean the "rules" until recently included the existence of limbo "for unbaptised children who don't go to hell but don't get to see God".

Actually Limbo is still an official Catholic doctrine even if many so called adherents to that faith probably don't know that - or even what it is supposed to be in some cases. Ask a few average Catholics what transubstantiation is all about and I'll bet that you'll get some blank stares.

It's this kind of crap that keeps me away from the official representatives who make it up as they go along. In fact given that a lot of the stuff I disagree with has been made up maybe I am sticking to the "rules" and its the officials who have gone off on their own.

I consider God made up but there you go.

As an aside I agree with you on the priest being entitled to ask about your relations regligious practice but I'd have a problem if he decided to bar them because he felt they didn't meet the required level.

I wouldn't. They (well she anyway) is being hypocritical (a sin as far as I recall) in requesting the sacrament of marriage when she doesn't practice (or believe from what I know). But that's just my opinion and they're obviously free to do what they like.

 

[icantbelieve]

"Isn't all faith 'blind'? I thought the whole idea of faith was to believe something, with any evidence to absolutely confirm it."
I'm staying away from this argument I've already tried it and the only thing to come out of it was that if you don't agree with the supposedly fool proof scientific "facts" then your not entitled to an opinion and that a belief in God means you also believe in fairies, the loch ness monster, bigfoot etc.
This thread is about the importance of church weddings to those who don't attend church regularly. My point is that just because you don't attend church doesn't mean you don't believe and certainly doesn't exclude you from participating when and if you decide to. After all one of the "rules" is that there is more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent. Another beaut by the way which means that you can play by the "rules" all your life and you'll have less of a welcome than someone who decides late in the day to join in.

 

[z107]

Another beaut by the way which means that you can play by the "rules" all your life and you'll have less of a welcome than someone who decides late in the day to join in.

I think you have this bit wrong, no one has 'less of a welcome'. When This post will be deleted if not edited immediately died on the cross, he guaranteed the same welcome for everyone. The rejoicing comes from the fact that someone did eventually decide to join in. I could be wrong about this though!

if you don't agree with the supposedly fool proof scientific "facts"

Did you read the rest of my post, where I stated that such 'facts' could very well be flawed?

 

[ClubMan]

For example, how many people have conducted an experiment to prove to themselves that the Earth isn't flat? - Most people will take the word of others.

If anybody doubts it then see .

 

[soc]

My fiance is an atheist, and I an agnostic, so we don't think that getting married in a church is appropriate if you're not practising a religion...

the thing I really don't like about Ireland is that one can only get married in either a Church or a registry office (that new legislation about alternative wedding venues hasn't come into effect yet). So, our only alternative, to an Irish wedding, was to get married in a registry office, which we DEFINATELY DIDN'T want.

We have decided to get married abroad in sunny Florida, outdoors, by the Gulf of Mexico in June. It sure beats being in a registry office! And the family are alot more excited about the whole occasion... for them, it's not just a wedding.. but a holiday too!

Now, if we were forced to get married in Ireland, and given the limitations to where one can get married here, despite my being an agnostic, I'd definately prefer a church wedding to a registry office. I've been to a registry office wedding, and it wasn't my thing. I'd say that's the main reason why non-believers insist on the church wedding...there's no alternative venues. I wonder if that new legislation re wedding venues was brought in, how many people would pick a church wedding then?

-soc

 

[ClubMan]

Yeah - I actually thought that the new legislation permitting civil marriages in places other than the registry office had come into force but recently discovered that it hadn't and I'm not sure what's keeping it. Surely it can't be that complex an issue? Obviously your preference is not a registry office marriage but I have to say that we had no problems with it nor did my sister and her husband. If I was a member of a religious congregation I'd probably find it objectionable for people to avail of the religious marriage just for the sake of convenience or for atmosphere. I'd probably be a religious fundamentalist if I wasn't a secular one!