I need to get help with harassment please

BigCat

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I fell out with a person 10 years ago. Since then she has refused to leave me alone. It's not physical from her. It's all emotional and psychological abuse and control. She hates me and she doesn't want to be friends with me but she won't leave me alone. She just wants to punish me and control me and make me pay. But it's 10 years living under the sentence of her mental health.

I don't respond to her. I blocked her and changed my number many times. Her current route is fake profiles and I block them all the time when I get more.

However she's often so desperate she reaches out to others in my family, friends and my employer. Her goal is not to make amends but to shame me and punish me.

What she's doing is harassment.

I went to the gardai. The first time they said they would phone her and that love only just fuelled her rage and she spent a whole entire weekend blowing up my phone.

The second time the officer said - it's a civil matter.

I explored the civil route but there was nothing open to me to stop this. If we were in an intimate relationship there was a restraining order but we were not in an intimate relationship. The only thing open to me was an injunction and I was quoted thousands for that and I just don't have the means for that.

I got more help and advice from a solicitor who referred me back to the gardai.

The law was updated last year to include harassment and stalking as standalone offences. The new law makes it easier to apply to the civil courts for a restraining order and you don't need to be in an intimate relationship. However the law has not been enacted yet which means it's still not in operation.

This person is still continuing.

I got in touch with the justice minister last year and she was ok-ish in helping me. Her email response was very generic and just sent me back to the gardai.

My appetite for the gardi now is very low to be honest.

I have another issue with the gardai. If I was to go back they said that they would have to confisicate my phone and laptop for evidence and this is stomach churning to me because I am not the one doing wrong and look at what I need to do to stop this.

This person still continues to this day.


How can I get this to stop? She will not leave me alone and she is a disturbed and dangerous individual. If you saw the sick stuff that she writes about.

I was considering contacting Luke Ming Flanagan. I don't know if that would work. So that he could raise the issue in Europe. If I lived in any other country the law would be appropriate to stop harassment but just not Ireland and I think maybe Europe should put pressure on Ireland to introduce appropriate laws to stop harassment.

10 years of harassment and my name being pulled through crap because someone else cants cope with their feelings and ego.

Other people would have killed themselves for less.
 
A solicitors letter asking them officially to cease and desist all contact? Failure to do may result in court action?
 
I went down that route before. My solicitor explained the situation to me. He said that a legal letter might enrage the person more and without me having the funds for an injunction, it was going to be an idle threat. For anyone else, they would take a legal letter seriously but there's some people with mental health issues who enjoy it. He explained that it was likely going to leave in more of a vulnerable situation against her. He made sense so I didn't follow through with the letter.
 
People like this can have an awful way of trying to hoover you back in. It's a well-known strategy. It can be so psychologically damaging and until it happens to you, hard to realise how awful the effect can be

The best you can do short of legal action is change your number and make it clear to anyone you give it to not to give it to the person or else you'll stop communication with them too. You have to get really strong about boundaries with this. No contact is the only strategy.

Then make all your social media profiles private and just ignore anyone who friends you or asks to follow you unless you 100% know them and that it's not the person. I would potentially threaten a defamation case if what she is saying about you is untrue and discrediting you to others. This is probably your best bet.
 
All of these measures were taken. I have my 'new' number now for 5 years and she doesn't have it. None of this stops her because she's determined and it's fake profile, after fake profile, after fake profile, after fake profile with some mail to my home sprinkled in and then some emails too. These measures just don't stop her. At all. She is determined.

Threatening a dematation case - she will only laugh at it. She doesn't care.

She is on a mission and she's never going to stop.
 
Hi,

Very sorry to hear about what's happening to you.

This website might offer some advice https://www.stalkinginireland.ie/stalking

I have another issue with the gardai. If I was to go back they said that they would have to confiscate my phone and laptop for evidence and this is stomach churning to me because I am not the one doing wrong and look at what I need to do to stop this.

Unfortunately until the new legislation is up and running it would appear that this is your best course of action to get your life back on track.
 
If you ceased all social media, would that help? That way you don’t see the fake profiles. There is nothing that you can do to stop her, just protect yourself from her attempts. Can you change your email address - I know it is an absolute pain with changing contact details everywhere.

I assume you log all issues and keep all letters for evidence with the gardai?

Many people never use social media like Facebook, twitter, instagram etc and get on just fine. So not seeing all the fake profiles would protect your mental health.
 
Some good advice here which may help

And if it becomes a criminal matter, you will have to hand over phones etc to allow the Gardai to gather evidence.

If you are not satisfied with the Gardai response, then a complaint to GSOC may be an option as well.
 
I have another issue with the gardai. If I was to go back they said that they would have to confisicate my phone and laptop for evidence and this is stomach churning to me because I am not the one doing wrong and look at what I need to do to stop this.
Why not purchase a new phone and computer, transfer the stuff you need and hand those 2 items to the Gardai. What is preventing you from helping the Gardai to help you.

Also don't understand where the fake profiles appear for you that you can't ignore.

For your emails, can you not 'divert' them, on my hotmail I can get emails to go into different folders without my seeing them unless I go to the folder. Don't answer the phone to anyone whose name is not on your phone list. For the hassle by post, why not just dump whatever you don't recognise, it's not like there is tons of post so it must be easy to spot if it's from her.
 
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