Husband just blew 34k on online casino

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Was the full 34 K blown in one night? or has this been going on for a long time and you have only now just realised the full extent of it i.e that you own 34K - I doubt that any gambling site would let you blow 34K in one night - despite what he may have told you! - Can you check his emails etc to see if he received any emails from the site re limits etc, can you check the browser history to determine how long he was playing for?.

If you are really going to help this guy kick addiction then you need to take all money/credit away from him. I understand that you might need internet for work etc but this is way to tempting for your hubby. Do you have a laptop or PC, i.e could you lock the laptop away?.
 
Well I've been on to bet365 and I've been on a few times to my bank manager and both are refusing to take any responsibility at all for allowing 34k to go through the account in the middle of the night over 2 or 3 hours. They both say that because everything was going through in my name and (in the banks case) because I had allowed him access my bank account online, that basically I'm fully responsible.

For the record, my husband has been using my credit card for bets for some time and while we have had many arguments about the volume of transactions going through (which I think is the sign of an addiction) he has never actually risked a lot of money at any stage and I've never really needed to bail him out - there were always lots of transactions coming in and out which netted off because, according to him, he was covering bets etc. So because he was never really losing money he never saw it as a problem.
I've now changed passwords on my bank account and have managed to also change the password to the bet365 account which I hadn't realised I could do since I didn't even know his username. So he can't access anything and he's going mad I did that, I can't see why - seems like he's even more in denial than I had realised. He has spoken to a counsellor and is meeting them later in the week, GA are unavailable until this evening. But I think it will take many sessions before he will accept that he has a problem.

And at the end of the day I still owe all that money, and I haven't a clue how I'll pay it back. I get the feeling that while the bank are verbally sympathetic they're not going to reduce the debt in any way, and neither will bet365.
 
HP

I think you are foolish to let this be the end of the negotiations between bet365 and yourself.

You need to email the CEO,COO and CFO of Bet Corp( this is bet365's parent company) and explain the situation and threaten if necessary to contact the stock market directly and investors. Trust me i work for an online gaming company this will bring the heat from upstairs to get this resolved.

No matter what they say this is not a socially responsible way to operate. If there has never been this high $$ volume going through before, they are at fault. You need to be persistent in this and be prepared to spend sometime on it.

I am more than willing to help but right now it seems that some mid level manager with no authority is stone walling you.

Regards
Bag

 
And how can I get their email addresses? What, in reality, can I threaten them with? Please pm me if you have any specific ideas, I haven't a clue about the gambling industry so I don't know how they operate or what makes them tick. I doubt that MABS can help - does anyone know if there is anyone professional I can turn to that would be better at arguing my case for me?

Btw bet365 may have some "responsible gambling" tips but they still leave all responsibility with the gambler to avail of these, from what they have told me they don't intervene or have any "cutoffs" at which case they ring you to confirm you are who you are - if they had done that he would have had to stop as he's obviously not a girl! They said that once the bank allows the money to go through they just let'em gamble away to their heart's content. Of course the middle of a Saturday night when people are drunk is probably the time they make the most money so they're not going to cut that back. It's just maddening there is no legislation to control them.
 
It's odd that €34K of transactions on a card even if they were ostensibly legitimate looking didn't trigger some sort of security call from the CC provider. I've heard of people using their cards legitimately for multiple transactions close together or in different geographic locations in a short space of time getting calls to double check that the transactions were not suspicious. I thought that this sort of thing was pretty standard these days?
 
HP

Basically you need to inform higher managment that this can happen with one of their products. Companies like this are as always flaunting that they are next to impenitrible when it comes to cc abuse and problem gambling.

Being reactive is not good enough in this day and age! They have to be proactive in regards to cc abuse and problem gamblers, this is what governing bodies and investors expect and what these companies claim to be in control of. They will automatically pass this "problem" to a responsible and able middle manager. The middle manager will then investigate the case and make a decision on it and contact you. This is the way it works in most companies i have ever had any experience with in the past.

Let me know if i can help.

Regards
Bag
 
Get on to Joe Duffy and try and raise some public pressure over this, you never know what a public debate and some bad publicity for Bet365 and the Banks/Credit Card Company could lead to.

As regards your Husband, Don't underestimate his problem and take his promises at face value. He needs professional help and fast.

My heart goes out to you, I will keep you in my prayers.
 
I am struggling to find o.p. genuine and at best think you are being economical with the truth.You dont seem to be open to any of the suggestions being made by people within the industry/people with experience in addiction that may have an initial bad effect on your partner but would be good for him in the long run.
I don't believe a credit card company would allow this amount of activity in such a short space of time and am starting to wonder if in fact you are the gambler and are looking for the easiest way out of this as all gamblers do(speaking from personal experience).
I do not think that anyone who has no clue about gambling and has just seen their partner lose 34k would have any interest in waiting to see how a few accumalators work out.I also find it unbelievable that anyone who does not gamble could view losing a couple of grand before as not beng a big deal??
Bagoftricks has given sound advice and the only reason you would continue to ignore it is if in fact you can not follow it has you are the gambler.
 
hp123 said:
I don't want to actually close the bet365 account because there are some accumulators which have a very good chance of coming in over the next few weeks so it would be stupid to throw that chance away.
Click to expand...

I am inclined to agree with the previous poster-is this for real? The quoted text above puts a different slant on it.
This was a part of a response to acknowledge good advice that was given. We all remember Nick Lesson (Barings), or xx Runsack (AIB/USA), both were one deal away from recouping the losses of their previous bad deals....
 
I feel sorry for the o.p. if they are the gambler or the gamblers partner.With alcohol and drugs at some point you are going to go fall over or go into a coma.With gambling as long as you have money and can stay awake you can just keep digging that hole and even when you run out of real money you can lash it on as many plastic cards you can get your hands on.
If the o.p. is genuine,some words of advice.
If he has gone mad about changing the passwords then going to G.A. is pointless,He has to want to go himself otherwise he will nip in to the nearest Ladbrokes on the way.
Until he arrives at that point you need to take full control of all his finances,get him to instruct his employer to put his wages into your account.
Give him absoloutely no access to any form of credit,Speak to his friends/family and tell them they are not to lend him money.
Give him enough money to live on for the week and make sure he accounts for everything with receipts.
If he says you are putting him thru hell and embarrassing him show him the credit card statement and remind him you are slightly embarrassed yourself and would consider yourself to have gone to hell and back .
Close all betting accounts and try to limit as much as possible his access to gambling(very hard).
Remember you are dealing with an addict so logic does not apply and almost every word from his mouth will be a lie or have an alterior motive.
If he does not want to go along with this regime to help himself and save his marriage leave him for your sanity,the sanity of your children (if you have any) and maybe even his own.
 
irishpancake said:
I'm beginning to agree with Horatio1 on this, something very fishy.



what is that all about??



how exactly was this achieved??
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1. I presume there is 1000's in outstanding bets... even a usless gamber wins sometimes...

2. the cc hold can change the password, they own the account , not the person with username/password
 
Changing the password will not work as there is an option like all websites that will allow you access if you can answer the personal question.So if the "partner" opened account with wifes credit card he would have the answer to it and gain access.
With regard to outstanding bets contact them to close the account and as the account was open in wifes name any cheques will be made out in her name and sent to her address.
There is no reason to keep account open unless the wife likes a flutter herself and if that is the case then she needs to also give up to support him.
 
jhegarty said:
1. I presume there is 1000's in outstanding bets... even a usless gamber wins sometimes...

2. the cc hold can change the password, they own the account , not the person with username/password
Click to expand...

I just opened an account with bet365, without giving any cc info. if i want to fund the account, i just have to logon, with u/name and p/word.

this is their welcome e-mail:

 
Everything I have said is absolutely true and I am not being economical with the truth. I think that, over time, his bets have sarted getting more and more frequent and he can be very persuasive as to the reason for them (mainly covering his other bets/accumulators) and it happened so gradually that he persuaded me to think a little as he did, that it wasn't such a big deal as I realise now that it was. We have had many arguments regarding the increase in volume of the transactions and I have been convinced that he has become addicted and have said so, but he has always been more assertive than me and I have not pushed it any further. Also, because he usually broke even, more or less, it appeared he was not risking our money and so I trusted him not to do the complete act of madness that he did on Saturday night. He hasn't had access to his own credit for about a year and so needed to use my CC and that is how I have been able to see what was going on. It's only the online gambling he is addicted to, he never goes into betting offices as far as I know, it's more the thrill for him of trying to beat the system by putting on accumulators and constantly watching them and covering them in different ways, and to be honest he has, in general, been very successful at it once he doesn't go near the casino part which is what he did on Saturday. I think I am guilty of allowing myself to be persuaded by him that there was no need for drastic action on my part to prevent him access to credit.
This betting account was set up a few years ago by him, in my name, and the information the gambling site need to verify identity is easy to hand for him - DOB, details of CC etc, all stuff a husband would know or could easily access. I didn't even know his username, so today when I rang them about it, once I verified some of their security questions that I was who I said I was, they then allowed me redirect all details to a different email address (mine) so I could change the password and prevent him access, which I have now done. I've never previously used a gambling site myself before today and didn't realise that I could have any control over it.

I just can't believe that both the betting company and the credit card company would allow that kind of money flow through an account in such a short space of time and it wouldn't trigger anything. Especially the credit card - they've suspended my account before for potentially dodgy transactions of $30, how come they would allow 34k pass through the credit card and not stop it?
 
hp123 said:
Especially the credit card - they've suspended my account before for potentially dodgy transactions of $30, how come they would allow 34k pass through the credit card and not stop it?
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Becasue there is no real time validation between bet 365 and the credit card company. They are done in batches. Bet 365 would have accumulated the 34k and only posted it against the credit card in one batch transaction, which could have been even after you found out about the usage of the credit card.
 
I am absolutely shocked at your story. My husband has an online account with Paddy Powers and he does a flutter from time to time. He loves big race meetings and I do two bets a year myself (Cheltenham Gold Cup and Grand National). So I do understand something about betting. But the money for gambling is lodged about 2 times a year by check (so that he loses an amount that we can afford and are happy with - about 1K a year) and I consider it a hobby of my husband's. He then bets by telephoning. Until your post I never realised that you could actually go online (drunk to boot) and just blow all the money you have basically. You've scared the living daylights out of me.

Bearing that in mind I'd like to understand a bit more as some of it doesn't make sense to me and I've incorporated some suggestions :

I don't understand why you changed the password on the betting account. What good will this do? Why didn't you close it down altogether.
How come the online account was in your name and not your husband's?
I would write a registered letter to all the online gambling websites outlining your name and husband's name and stating that you do not wish them to take any further bets from your/your husband's credit cards. They must have a system that triggers an alarm bell when someone who is an addicted gambler tries to gamble.
Have you actually added up how much your husband has lost in the past year.
I don't see any point in reporting him for fraudulently using your credit card. I imagine all this would do would land him in a debt, which ultimately will come to be paid by both of you.
How come the credit card could be used in such a short period of time and to the max? I know when I use my credit card in a different fashion to normal that they have to ring up to check I'm who I say I am. I imagine in the early hours of a Saturday night and money going to a gambling site that this would trigger an alarm bell somewhere in the credit card company. Ditto for the gambling website itself. If they are responsible they shouldn't allow this to happen - I'd threaten to report them to the gambling ombudsman if such a thing exists. It seems from previous posts they don't like adverse publicity so threatening to get on to the radio might help.
Why are you sorting out this mess and not him? Isn't it his responsibility
Why is there a problem with his credit card?
I'd actually cancel your credit cards as well. Your husband will easily be able to find out all the codes/passwords etc. You yourself have easily discovered his username on the online account so it would work for him too on your credit card.
I hope everything works out for you
 
Just thinking about something, I seem to remember that a drunk person can not enter a contract....

Any legal eagles able to verify ?
 
what is your husband doing about all of this??. you mentioned that he was angry that you changed his password - doesn't sound like he's ready to quit. He needs to get some plan into action to earn more money to pay for his gambling debts!, can he start doing overtime etc, can he raise money by maybe selling his car etc (if you have two cars) - make him get the bus to work - there should be some consequences for his actions!. I don't want to harp on the point but you don't seem to have fully grasped the seriousness of the gambling addiction that he has i.e you are still keeping the accounts open, you are still keeping the computer/internet in the house where he can be easily tempted. You said yourself that he is very persuasive and you just dropped your concerns as a result even though you knew it wasn't right!. Do you think you are strong enough now to put the foot down completely with him i.e ban all forms of credit and limit his cash every week, ban the gaming sites (not just 365) but all of the others. He is like every other addict, where there's a will there's a way and he will find a way to gamble unless you make it near impossible which will mean sacrificing the computer (or at least putting it under lock and key) and monitoring him carefully!. Personally while it is worth while to see if you can at least get the debt reduced I don't think the bank or online site should be held responsible for your husbands actions - he needs to wake up and take responsibility instead of moping around feeling sorry for himself.
 
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