how to help the Mum of a nocturnal baby?

I never went near LLL people. I got approached by one of them in a local shop when my baby was one week old (I thought I was doing great, to be up showered dressed etc and in the shop) she asked me "are you ok because you look dreadful?" Then asked if i was feeding her myself and told me i needed to go to the meetings or I wouldnt manage it for much longer. My daughter is 20 weeks old today and has never had formula. I have expressed since she was born because there was trouble latching in the beginning and she has never refused a bottle. After a few weeks she was flying on the breast but she still gets a couple of a expressed bottles today because of the attention I get if I try to feed in public. I'm 25 and was asking public health nurse about the numbers of people my age doing it in my area and the answer was none, just me. People come over and talk to you and look for wedding ring and then ask how long you have been married and then if its your first baby and then, oh well you should be doing this that and the other, when are you moving her to bottles, the spoon etc.

I did have a great talk with a lactation consultant from cuidiu when my daughter developed eczema who was very helpful when people were saying she must be allergic to breast milk and my own doctor was demontrating with his own "boob" how to feed her!

I don't think the way BF is pushed on people is the way to go, really it needs to be a cultural change where people mind their own business regardless of peoples choices. Just because someone is breastfeeding or bottle feeding in public doesnt give you the right to start giving advice.

for OP i think letting her get sleep is a great idea. I found it great that someone offered to babysit for our anniversary which was when baby was only 4 weeks old which meant I got to get dolled up and go out for once. Felt a little bit more human.

Am sorry to hear Vanilla and Sandrat that you had negative experiences with LLL. Must say my experience was totally the opposite and can say that I feel they really helped a lot of women who desperately wanted to b/f their baby but had got very bad help/advice from the medical system professionals, to get back on track with b/f. I too gave my babies a few bottles once b/f was established as I knew there would be some stage I would have to be away from them even if it was only to go to the hairdressers. Any meeting I attended the leader said during the introduction something along the lines of "take on board whatever information you hear here that suits you and your family" and that is literally what I did and didn't get stressed about an odd bottle of expressed milk here and there and didn't take every word as mandatory.

Still not convinced about one b/f per day giving a baby all the immunity they need and would have to see some research on that as I really believe human milk is the perfect food for babies!

It's really interesting the way this topic has turned into a chat about breastfeeding. I would agree that letting her get a nap and bringing some food is the best idea and it's probably best not to get involved in the feeding side of things unless she specifically asks for advice. It's all about supporting whatever she is doing, not offering opinions or influencing no matter how well meaning.
I am breastfeeding my 9 week old daughter after a rocky start. A few weeks ago someone asked me what would I like as a present for the baby and I just asked them to bring me food They thought I was daft and wanted to buy some clothes or something. . . . people are out of touch with reality! I would have loved a fruit basket . . . I was having real trouble keeping myself fed properly those first few weeks after my husband went back to work.