How much is enough?

Bamhan said:
How do people decide they are satisfied with the life they have?
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I think many people have convinced themselves that equity in their house is something to be use up rather that simply being the portion of their house that they actually own; that they should have an new car every two years, latest gadgets, Neff kitchen, house extension, whatever, and work every hour God sends to finance it. Personally I'm happier to be relatively time-rich but cash-poor. My finances are simple, tight but manageable. No investment properties to worry about just lots of kids; I changed jobs to closer to home so I'd have less than an hour round trip and try to do everything off-peak. After the basics and one or two comforts I'm not sure that more stuff makes you happier. I suppose everyone has to find a balance that suits themselves.
 
The only thing that can really make people happy is interaction with other people.
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Lol! - interaction with other people seems to be the main cause of any unhappiness I get !

I don't think there is such thing as 'pure happiness' - you need a bit of unhappiness to contrast and compare it to in order to fully appreciate happiness, when it does happen.

With regard to the TV comments, just get rid of the TV completely. I did a few years back and don't even think about it any more. It'll only make you unhappy with its brainwashing adverts and time consuming crap.
 

You might be right about the compare/contrast element. How can one appreciate light if one has never experienced darkness? We only appreciate how wonderful a drink of water is when we're extremely thirsty. That sort of thing. In fact (and this is probably a whole other thread on philosophy!) I've often thought (when people say "he's better off dead" or "we put the poor dog then because he was suffering"), how can a person appreciate being better off if they're dead?!! How can an animal appreciate being without pain if he doesn't even exist?? Does anybody out there understand me? Not sure I understand myself!!!!! [Clubman - resist the temptation]!!!! .... and that's a little joke, by the way.
 
Hi Bamhan,

Well done on such a thought prevoking post. We find ourseslves on such a rollercoaster, studying hard, working hard, trying to get a mortgage, trying to get a second mortgage, maximise our repayments, minimize our interest repayments, trying to manage our money, trying to earn more money, trying to maximise our pension, trying to minimize our debt, trying to maximise fitness, minimize colestoral...whatever...and before we know it,
our youth is gone or our kids are grown up or our parents are gone, life is just gone. (Gosh Im feelilng a bit depressed now). Maybe Douglas Adams was right when he said "life is wasted on the living" granted he also said "Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast." and "I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons." (!!!)
 
I don't think anyone believes you can be "happy" all the time. The idea is to be able to handle the bad times or suffering better. Part of that is minimising the amount of "self-inflicted" bad times by having a proper look at your life.

If you can belive that what you have is enough, then you are free to be happy with what you have.
If you can minimise your contact with people that are destructive/unhealthy in your life, you are free to enjoy your time on your own or with those who are better to be around.
If you can't figure out "what you really want to do with your life", then spend as little time as you possibly can doing things that you know you definitely don't want to be doing and you might have a chance of exploring options in finding the former.
But if you don't invest a bit of time in examining these kinds of things (by staying in/turning of the telly/walking without the IPod/or whatever), then your mind is too cluttered to find any solutions that might work for you.

Rebecca
 
I for one don't feel that way in spite of having studied and worked hard all my life. I'm sure that I'm not alone. Anyone?
 
I don't feel that way either. I choose the way I want to live, including the SSIA/mortgage etc. If I feel it's taking over or I'm being suckered into giving up too much control of my life/finances/time, I give myself a good talking to and make a change. I don't have any kids, so maybe that would change it but I would hope that if anything that would give me even more of a reality check about what matters and what doesn't.

Rebecca
 
I for one don't feel that way in spite of having studied and worked hard all my life. I'm sure that I'm not alone. Anyone?
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Well I agree with cas that it was a thought provoking post and has elicited some interesting responses. I also agree that at times I look at what I have achieved so far in life, in monetary and non-monetary terms and I do think that parts of my life have passed me by while I was concentrating on the short term of making more money, buying a bigger house, a faster car, looser women etc etc - maybe I'm just getting older and realising that, while some minimum level of money is neccessary for comfort and health, money isn't the be all and end all.

Actually I think having children has changed the way I think about these things
 
efm, certainly having my first child was a life changing experience and altered the way I view the world.
I think I gained a bit more perspective when number two came along......
 
Bamhan said:
I don't understand Clubman? Don't feel what way?
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I don't feel that ...
Sorry - I should have made it more obvious.
 
Clubman - did you feel differently before you had your mortgage paid off. What prompted you to pay off your mortgage? (if you mind me asking). I ask because we are trying to decide ourselves whether we would be better paying off our mortgage early or using the money for other purposes. We are divided on the issue so would like to hear from someone who has gone down this route and paid off their mortgage.

I think to a lot of people a part of their happiness can be attributed to being financially secure at whatever level suits them. Some people are more risk takers and prefer investing etc... It's often hard when in a relationship people's attitude to risk,security etc.. don't match and one partner is all for one course of action i.e. paying off the mortgage and the other is more open to risk. It is this I find at the moment to be confusing in my life and feel somewhat at a crossroads in making these decisions.

When we first met we had hardly any money,no house, no car and no kids!
My husband had some bad health problems which he overcame.
Now 12 years later we are onto our second home (having sold our first),have 2 kids,have 2 cars, I work full-time,husband has just set up own business so very busy. Life can be such a rollercoaster sometimes it's hard to find the time to contemplate on some of the issues raised in this thead.
 
Oh I see Clubman.....I didn't read it properly the first time around.
I agree with Fobs matching expectations in a relationship can certainly lead to harmony.
 
ClubMan said:
I for one don't feel that way in spite of having studied and worked hard all my life. I'm sure that I'm not alone. Anyone?
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Clubman, I didnt intend my post to be taken so literally (given that youve quoted the entire post twice now). Just to be clear, and hopefully not pedantic, Im not vigorously going through that list, at any one time one could be going through a subset of that list. I dont actually feel that way, (ie my youth is gone, my children grown up, parents dead) but I agree with Bamhan that the question "how much is enough" is a question that sometimes people should step back and ask themselves while going through their lives, not at the end. Well done you that you dont need to but others might, myself included. I dont think that is a bad thing.
 
fobs said:
Clubman - did you feel differently before you had your mortgage paid off.
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No - but admittedly we bought the house in 1995 so the price and mortgage were pretty low compared to those that prevail these days. Interest rates were c. 7% though at the start. Ultimately the mortgage repayments were not a big burden and I had been saving that amount prior to taking out a mortgage anyway.

What prompted you to pay off your mortgage? (if you mind me asking).
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We had the money and not other immediate use for it and didn't see the point in borrowing when we could clear it and save money longer term on interest and mortgage protection life assurance payments that we would otherwise avoid.
 
My Dad who is now retired worked hard his whole life to the extent that he really didn't allow himself much time to relax or enjoy life. Of course he had his reasons at the time but now he often says that his one regret is not giving those reasons a bit more thought, and just assuming he had to do stuff, out of pressure or whatever.
 
At least it's a positive thing that he has realised this in time to make changes during his retirement? No point in crying over spilt milk and regretting the past as it serves no purpose.
 
In case anyone misinterprets my last post, I didn't mean it as in "What should my Dad do about this, or not do", because that's not relevant. He's retired now and enjoying himself, finally.

I meant it as a thought for people who are currently working hard or mindlessly doing things and wondering whether it's all worth it.
 
Well, all I know is, no matter what the situation - there is always, always something to be thankful for.
I feel I have a huge list to be thankful for, so I suppose that means I have enough.
 
And as some comedian or other (Billy Connolly? Bernard Manning? ) said:

"No matter how bad things sometimes seem you should remember that there is always somebody else worse off than you. Who you can laugh at."


 
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