How long does a Separation take?

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theresaanna

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Been dealing with my solicitor for last 6 years re: separation from my husband on grounds of mental and verbal abuse. He still lives in the family home, ignores court orders and pays minimum maintenance. Am no nearer to a court date and slowly losing my mind. Advice please.
 
How does your solicitor see this case panning out? Surely if the husband is ignoring court orders then he could be found in contempt of court? Is there a problem with the court system in setting dates for this case? My own sister went through something similar where her husband also dragged things out and breached barring orders but the court/judge always gave him another chance. Unfortunately her case also took years to sort out to get to the separation and financial settlement stage. :(
 
I'm afraid in difficult cases it is simply a matter of being dogged and persistent OR walking away. It will eventually be impossible for the recalcitrant spouse to resist any longer. Unfortunately, if it is a case where there are limited resources, it is sometimes simpler to just walk away. Not always an option. Expensive I know but people behave in marital break up the way they behaved in the marriage. My clients know their spouses only too well, they know separation/divorce will be difficult, but they find it difficult to comprehend that there is no Guardian Angel/Magic Wand to suddenly make it all better.

mf
 
Thanks for your reply. At least now I know that there are others out there in the same position. Am not financially in a position to leave with my kids and live 100 miles from my family so going to them is also not an option. Hopefully it will get sorted this year. :)
 
If you can establish that you have not been living as husband and wife for at least 4 of the last 5 years then you can apply for a divorce; the settlement issues still remain but you don't have to provide grounds and it cannot be contested. Whilst getting settlements agreed can take a long time, no Soltr worth his or her salt should allow it to drag out for 6 years.
 
"no Soltr worth his or her salt should allow it to drag out for 6 years."

Very unfair comment. I have clients who are advised and who then choose not to take my advice. That is not me dragging it out- that is the client. In difficult cases, yes, it can take this length of time and, in this case, it sounds as if that is primarily the husbands fault -not the wifes and not the solicitors.

While Divorce here is on a no fault time basis, where bad behaviour is used in the process, it would need to be brought before a Court for any account to be taken of it - in settlement, it is unlikely the recalcitrant partner would care to give ground based on the bad behaviour.

mf
 
Thanks for all your replies. Didnt get chance to log onto site for a few weeks. Would like to ask mf1 if my spouse's bad behaviour will be to my advantage when case goes to trial? He had €100,000 less than two years ago of which i didnt receive a cent. He nows says it is all gone and was putting pressure on me to re-mortgage the house as he says he's in debt. Needless to say i've refused but now i go for 2 weeks or more without any grocery money and am completely reliant on my two days a week pay pack to provide for children as well as pay my own expenses. Really feel he is gaining everything and I am losing all!
 
I'd have to agree that it would be better to go the route of Divorce as opposed to Separation. Whilst you obviously got one bad egg, it doesn't mean they all are & who knows while you are probably not in the humour now, who knows when you will meet the right one.

It also ties things up better than a Separation.

Hang in there, it will be all worth it in the end and you'll look back and be glad you didn't walk out. The day will come when you are free and it will feel brilliant.
 
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