I would prefer to have a funeral totally private to family and make any announcement after the burial.
One thing that I cannot abide these days is the habit of queueing up in the church to offer sympathy.
For years and years I would have agreed with this. I thought at times it could be a bit isincere. But when we had a family funeral I was glad to see so many in the queue. I was glad to shake hands with each and every one of them. It helped me greatly at the time. It is hard to know what the best thing is.
+1. In my own experience, I deeply appreciated each and every person who came to sympathise, on the death of a close family member. 'House private' wouldn't really be the usual in my part of the country. However, in my view, it is very much a decision for the family, what is right for them, and what they can cope with.But when we had a family funeral I was glad to see so many...I was glad to shake hands with each and every one of them. It helped me greatly at the time.
When our mother of six siblings died, we knew that many of those attending the funeral would be friends to one of the six, but had no contact with the other five. We really wouldn't want them having to 'run the gauntlet' of five others that they didn't know. We asked the priest to say that we'd meet people outside rather than queueing at the front. Many people told me they were greatly relieved.One thing that I cannot abide these days is the habit of queueing up in the church to offer sympathy. Friends have told me after funerals that they cannot remember a lot of the people that they shook hands with. I was pleased to hear a priest announce at a funeral a while back that the family did not want this to happen as they were extremely tired. They said they would see people over time. It was someone who died young and suddenly of a heart attack and it came as a dreadful shock to his wife and children.
Perhaps it depends on where and how you were reared, but I have never seen this happen and have (sadly!) several decades of funeral attendances under my belt.jump-on-the-bandwagon freewheelers who barely know the deceased or the family suddenly land themselves back in the hotel relishing the prospect of a hotel prepared meal
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